Started By
Message
Nick Saban's 14 rule changes for CFB
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:12 pm
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:12 pm
quote:
1. Auburn may no longer play college football.
This may seem unfair, but think of all the injuries that have occurred in the Iron Bowl.
Why put player safety at stake with another football game?
Instead, Alabama will play Samford each year in a newly rechristened "Alabama Dominates Bowl." (In order to ensure that Alabama beats Samford each year, Gus Malzahn may not coach Samford.)
In fact, just to be safe...
2. Gus Malzahn may not coach football anywhere.
Including high school, pee wee, and certain video games that simulate championships.
quote:
4. The SEC will move to nine conference games, but Alabama will play Kentucky six times each season.
Don't worry, guys, half of these games will be in Alabama and half will be in Lexington. This will keep those contests fair.
Meanwhile, LSU will play South Carolina twice, Florida twice, and Georgia twice. All on the road.
quote:
11. When running a read option, mobile quarterbacks are not allowed to hand off to running backs.
This confuses the defense.
Confusion is bad for the game of football.
Do we really want one team winning because the other team is confused? Are we playing football or chess?
quote:
14. Regardless of the outcome of the season, Alabama is awarded the national championship.
This has always been true, but we figure it's time to go ahead and codify this rule for posterity's sake.
LINK
15
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:16 pm to boXerrumble
Upvoted
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:21 pm to boXerrumble
quote:
10. No team wearing crimson may be called for holding.
My bad, that's already in the SEC officiating handbook.
antibarner "Greg Robinson Holds" defense in 3...2...1....
This post was edited on 3/5/14 at 1:22 pm
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:23 pm to boXerrumble
quote:
Without Nick Saban standing steadfastly on the front lines of college football health, we were clearly heading towards an era where players smoked while playing football. Plainly, that's dangerous. Especially with sickle cell and HIV and syphilis to consider. Otherwise, those hurry up no huddle offenses want to trot out sickle cell syphilitic smoking HIV positive quarterbacks who they are trying to kill. AND RUN THE READ OPTION WITH THEM IN THE HOT SUN. Who's going to protect you from sickle cell syphilitic HIV positive smoking deaths on the football field?
Nick F'ing Saban, that's who.
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:24 pm to boXerrumble
There were maybe 2 of those that were original or even remotely rustling. Nothing I haven't heard from beaver or GenesChin on this board already.
Poor troll attempt.
Poor troll attempt.
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:25 pm to boXerrumble
I'm glad you pointed out that Nick Saban is in support of a 9 game schedule, unlike all the other pussy coaches in this conference.
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:25 pm to FourThreeForty
quote:
There were maybe 2 of those that were original or even remotely rustling. Nothing I haven't heard from beaver or GenesChin on this board already.
Clay reads and plagiarizes SECR
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:26 pm to boXerrumble
Written by this guy..
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:26 pm to boXerrumble
quote:
boXerrumble
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:26 pm to boXerrumble
So Clay Travis is cool again on the board now?
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:27 pm to bigpapamac
i didn't have to click on this thread to know it was clay travis
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:28 pm to bigpapamac
Really should be a written rule that posting anything from Clay Travis, Thayer Evans, or Pete Thamel will result in an immediate week long break from posting.
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:30 pm to memphisplaya
quote:
Life long break from living
Fixed it for you
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:32 pm to boXerrumble
That was pretty funny.
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:33 pm to FourThreeForty
Not until the posts from bleacher report are also fully removed
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:38 pm to memphisplaya
quote:
Really should be a written rule that posting anything from Clay Travis, Thayer Evans, or Pete Thamel will result in an immediate week long break from posting.
its one thing to post from those and BR on supposedly journalistic pieces, its another to just post some satire(and also that doesnt involve clicking through each slide
)Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:39 pm to NYCAuburn
I've yet to see a legit example of journalism from Evans and Thamel.
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:41 pm to memphisplaya
quote:
I've yet to see a legit example of journalism from Evans and Thamel.
never said they had one, and alluded to the opposite
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:43 pm to NYCAuburn
Yeah my bad. I misread. 
Posted on 3/5/14 at 1:51 pm to memphisplaya
quote:Used to suck, but I am starting to like him better lately. Of course that is probably because most of his recent material seems aimed at Alabama
Clay Travis
Page 1 of 2
Popular
Back to top
Follow SECRant for SEC Football News