Posted by
Message
PigKahuna
Arkansas Fan
Mud Pit
Member since Jan 2019
72 posts

Can't shake the depression...
Warning: This is long and a serious post.

I know this board doesn't get a whole lot of traffic but I've lurked a long time and there's far less a-holes here.

I have suffered a lot of loss here recently. I have had my little moments of sadness over the years but I've always been able to bounce back. It's been over a year and I can't shake this one. I guess because there's been so much piled on me at once.

I go to therapy weekly, take stuff for anxiety, work out, play team sports, etc. I also have a great job, great family, great friends. All these things should be helping but no such luck so far.

When I didn't think I could sink any lower, I've lost my anchor and best friend because of my psycho ex. I don't blame him. She's fricking crazy. It ended so abruptly, I have had no closure.

I feel like I'm doing all the things I need to do to start feeling better. Any advice from maybe someone that's been there?

Thanks in advance. And yes, I'm fully aware there will be a-hole posts mixed in here.

Gotta get some sleep but I'll be back tomorrow.

This post was edited on 2/4 at 11:13 pm


CNB
Wofford Fan
Columbia
Member since Sep 2007
80641 posts
 Online 

re: Can't shake the depression...
Anxiety medicine was the issue for me.

Good luck sister
This post was edited on 2/4 at 11:36 pm


PigKahuna
Arkansas Fan
Mud Pit
Member since Jan 2019
72 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
Thanks, CNB.

I'm a chick. I know the whole female ex prob threw you off. I like both.

We can attribute 40% of my crazy due to being female so I just need to know how to fix the rest.


CNB
Wofford Fan
Columbia
Member since Sep 2007
80641 posts
 Online 

re: Can't shake the depression...
Edited.

Also you are now banned from Chick-fil-A


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
70
BoarEd
Arkansas Fan
thatguy45's sister house
Member since Oct 2015
10430 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
I enjoy building gardens. Putting one's hands in the dirt frequently helps fight depression. Yoga can help.


KSGamecock
South Carolina Fan
The Woodlands, TX
Member since May 2012
22071 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this and I can relate.

You said you’re playing team sports and you have a great family and friend group, how often do you spend time with them?

I ask because I’ve struggled in a similar way much of my life and it’s been aggravated by different events. What’s helped with me is connecting IRL with other people as much as possible. Sometimes when people get in a spiral of depression you start disconnecting and it only speeds up the spiral.

Sounds like you’re doing the right thing with the anxiety meds but they may not be working as well as they could or you may want to talk to your doctor about other options like an anti-depressant. Sometimes it can take a while to tweak a cocktail that works well.

Also sounds like you’re taking care of yourself with therapy, that and time will help with loss.

Best of luck to you and just keep at it.


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
30
Rambler
Ole Miss Fan
NWA
Member since Jan 2011
819 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
I think I know why you selected that avi. That's the saddest looking piglet I've ever seen.

Everybody has down times; you need to balance them with good times. You just have to find something that you REALLY enjoy, not just something that you think you are supposed to enjoy.

Sorry you're having a hard time of it.


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
40
SECdragonmaster
Auburn Fan
Putting the sexy back in dyslexia.
Member since Dec 2013
9252 posts
 Online 

re: Can't shake the depression...
PigKahuna,

As others have said, you are doing all the right things.

quote:

I go to therapy weekly, take stuff for anxiety, work out, play team sports, etc.


As you said, you have many of the most important things.

quote:

I also have a great job, great family, great friends.


What you may still lack are hope and purpose.

For hope - you have to believe and trust others that this depression is going to resolve. All depression is episodic in nature, meaning that even without treatment, it will eventually resolve. The purpose of therapy and meds is to try and shorten the duration and to be better prepared for the next period of depression (if it comes back). So really rest in hope and avoid the hopelessness that you feel right now. It’s not hopeless and it will resolve.

For Purpose - this one is much more difficult to get your arms around. Purpose is not success. Purpose is not financial rewards. Purpose is figuring out what you are innately good at (I believe created for) and then making sure you use that to help others as often as you can. There is no substitute for the reward of doing something to help another person take the next step they need.

I have seen very depressed people completely change over a month of serving others. But you can’t just serve because there is a need. It has to be something you really already enjoy.

Sorry for the long answer. You may get depressed and fall back to sleep reading this wall of text.


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
60
Sody Cracker
Washington State Fan
Distemper Ward
Member since May 2016
2915 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
Unless you are a true nut this problem will take care of itself. Quit focusing on yourself and how you feel. Act instead of contemplating.


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
10
Arksulli
Arkansas Fan
Fayetteville
Member since Aug 2014
14992 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
A long bout of depression can last a good long time unfortunately.

As others have said, you are doing the things you should be doing to get over this. Keep doing them. Depression tends to take a little while to lift.

You are also feeling more down then usual because of the combination of getting out of a bad relationship with the ex and losing your best friend in the process. If you weren't feeling depressed after that double whammy I'd be worried.

Stay active, keep going to therapy, and hang out with friends and family as much as you can. The urge when you are depressed is to spend time alone and that can be a dangerous thing to do.

If you need someone to talk too, we are always here.


PigKahuna
Arkansas Fan
Mud Pit
Member since Jan 2019
72 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
Thank you all for your encouraging words.

I forgot to mention I have battled a disease for years that can be very debilitating at times and got some recent bad news with that. That hasn't helped either. I'm not dying or anything lol, just not fun to deal with.

I'll likely plugging along. Thanks again all!


piggilicious
UAB Fan
Member since Jan 2011
27467 posts
 Online 

re: Can't shake the depression...
I have nothing to offer as far as advice but I do hope you feel better about life soon! XOXOXO



PigKahuna
Arkansas Fan
Mud Pit
Member since Jan 2019
72 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
Thank you BoarEd, KSGamecock, Rambler, Sody, Arksulli, pigglicious.

SECdragon, thank you for taking the time to type all of that out. I read every word.
This post was edited on 2/5 at 10:49 am


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
20
Harry Rex Vonner
Arkansas Fan
Gumps, who is the Rounders boy?
Member since Nov 2013
9857 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
why do you let your psycho ex have an impact on your life?

that's your fault

straight talk


Harry Rex Vonner
Arkansas Fan
Gumps, who is the Rounders boy?
Member since Nov 2013
9857 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
and no, I'm not being mean

I've suffered through Ye Old corporate accountability meetings for a few years, and learned to give straight talk feedback without qualification for feelings, until it hurts. I'm not one of the narcissistic jerks who love to try and make it hurt but it might hurt anyway



momentoftruth87
Arkansas Fan
Member since Oct 2013
22731 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
Hi PK

quote:

I have suffered a lot of loss here recently. I have had my little moments of sadness over the years but I've always been able to bounce back. It's been over a year and I can't shake this one. I guess because there's been so much piled on me at once.



I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I had a long bout of depression the last year that I was in the military and it was no fun. It seemed like the only thing that I did was turn to alcohol. Since being out of the military, I have cut back on drinking to where I really do not drink at all. I did turn to marijuana and it seemed to help, but I have recently stopped that because it just seemed like another habit.

quote:

I go to therapy weekly, take stuff for anxiety, work out, play team sports, etc. I also have a great job, great family, great friends. All these things should be helping but no such luck so far.



This is a great thing, but it sucks to hear that it isnt working. I wish I had a few of the things that you mentioned!

quote:

When I didn't think I could sink any lower, I've lost my anchor and best friend because of my psycho ex. I don't blame him. She's fricking crazy. It ended so abruptly, I have had no closure.


I know this sucks to hear, but it might be a good thing that you got rid of that toxic relationship with both.

quote:

I feel like I'm doing all the things I need to do to start feeling better.


I think it might be worse now because of the winter. I know you get out and have great things, but for me it seems like the cold and dreary days do not help any at all.

I am ready for that beautiful sunshine to come back out and be out and about more.

I guess I really havent said much that will help, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, you have great people on this board that will definitely engage with you to take your mind off of things.

I hope things get better for you soon. Just remember that just because things are bleak right now, doesnt mean that they will always be like that. That is what gives me hope for myself.

Again, wishing you the best sister!


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
00
PigKahuna
Arkansas Fan
Mud Pit
Member since Jan 2019
72 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
No worries. Straight talk is preferred.

I have no control of this ex. She has been up my friend's ass. He took everything he could but eventually, it was too much baggage for him.


Harry Rex Vonner
Arkansas Fan
Gumps, who is the Rounders boy?
Member since Nov 2013
9857 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
it's your ex, not his

why is she allowed to make contact?


PigKahuna
Arkansas Fan
Mud Pit
Member since Jan 2019
72 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
She knows we're kind of a thing.

She ran him off, so she won.


Harry Rex Vonner
Arkansas Fan
Gumps, who is the Rounders boy?
Member since Nov 2013
9857 posts

re: Can't shake the depression...
quote:

She ran him off,



thus my point


why? why was she allowed to do that?


sounds like she runs your life
This post was edited on 2/5 at 12:36 pm


Replies (0)
Replies (0)
20
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 3next pagelast page

Back to top

logoFollow SECRant for SEC Football News
Follow us on Twitter and Facebook to get the latest updates on SEC Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitter