Trashiest Programs Official Power Rankings

1. Tennessee. They are permanently #1 and this needs no further explanation.

2. Georgia. Kirby has lost control of Georgia football and their football players continue to drive recklessly, flagrantly disregard the law, and still find a way for them to be eligible on each saturday in the fall. They bark at children. The bottom 10% of their fanbase are worse than anyone else by a country mile (besides Tennessee, of course).

3. LSU. The whole Kiffin situation was never pretty and he just keeps making it worse. Never seen a guy burn bridges behind him like Lane. And LSU fans are slurping it up (for now). Over/under on years before he is eastbound and down coaching at FAU: three.

And we can't ignore the piss balloons.

4. Alabama They may be relatively down, but so are their cousins.

5. Florida. Just because they haven't been winning much in football doesn't mean that their fanbase has improved by any measure.

6. South Carolina. This is genuinely a position of respect. It take a real special breed of football fans to rabidly support a program as bad as South Carolina's.

7. Auburn. Just like the program itself, Auburn can't quite garner the spotlight of its in-state big sibling. But deep down, you're just a store brand version of them.

8. Oklahoma. New to the conference, but if there is any metric that demonstrates that these baws belong, it is their obnoxious fanbase.

9. Ole Miss. Dropped about five spots by shedding Lane Kiffin to LSU. Still Ole Miss though.

10. Texas A&M. I hesitated to put them here. Because despite being weird, cultish, and unsettling, they aren't trashy. In fact, they are almost too nice. Which is kind of trashy in its own right? I just don't understand them.

11. Arkansas. They're down bad right now. They have the capacity to be a top five trashy SEC fanbase, but they just seem entirely broken by years of bad football.

12. Mississippi State. We've entered the firmly non-trashy range. They happen to sit at the top of that group simply because they are Mississippi's ag school. And the damn cowbells.

13. Missouri. Trying harder to prove they belong than the schools below. But more sad than trashy. Flying the "Q" flag on Saturdays, especially against ku, gives a few points.

14. Kentucky. Decidedly not trashy. But their fans are awful during basketball season, so they get a nod above the teams below.

15. Texas. Fair-weather, bandwagon, soft. Austin isn't a college town. Bunch of selfish, conference-wrecking bastards. They don't qualify as trashy. They're a brand name more than a community. Their campus looks like a Model United Nations convention. Get fricked.

16. Vanderbilt. Posters on the Rant talk about kicking Vanderbilt out of the SEC, but I'm frankly surprised that they stick around with us lot. You think they need our paltry football money?