I’m flipping my commitment to Mizzou

I’d rather be a baw than a poop swastika

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what to expect

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Pepsi

Pretty much what you’re already used to with slightly colder winters and familiar disappointment.

It's a big deal to sit on uncomfortable things up there.

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Looking for some advice on being a Mizzou fan and what to expect.

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Here are 5 things to ensure that house will fit in:

1st- You must be excited about a 9-2 season like you have won the National Championship. Winning seasons don’t happen often in Mizzou, so when they do you have to be overly excited as you do not know when the next one will be, especially 9 wins.

2nd- when you beat Tennessee in football you have to celebrate for a week and make sure everyone knows that you beat Tennessee in football, even if it’s the first win in five years.

3rd- Don’t expect greatness every year as you will be let down. If you define greatness like other Mizzou fans, you will be just fine. Greatness to Mizzou is 8 wins and going to a bowl game. Also don’t expect consecutive winning seasons as that has only happened twice since 2010/2011.

4th- don’t expect 10+ win seasons as you will be upset every year and could damage your fandom. Winning 10+ game’s regularly is not the norm for Mizzou, even when they are currently in their greatest stretch of all time in football. You are more likely to go 1-10 than you are 10-1. Mizzou currently has just as many season where they won 1 or fewer games than than they have 9+ win seasons.

5th- Don’t expect to ever win the CFP, National Championship, or the SEC Championship. Mizzou has no history of winning any of these things. You are currently 33rd in all time wins(711) and have no chance of getting into the top 10 in wins in your life time. Be ok with just a winning season and extending your coach for winning 7+ games.

If you follow these 5 steps you will be just fine as a new Mizzou fan. If you don’t have a strong heart or patience, then I don’t advise you to stick with Mizzou beyond this year, as most fans will stop coming to the games anyways once they go back to the norm of losing season like the previous 5 years. Congratulations on your great season and being a bandwagon fan.

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The Sultan of Swine

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Good pickup Mizzou. Solid poster.

Just start giving blow jobs for 6 bucks behind a 7-11 or Popeyes dumpster. You will fit right in.

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Looking for some advice from my fellow Mizzou fans on what to expect.

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Learn how to spaz out and start launching phallic slurs at the guys that laugh at your program.