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SEC Coaches: who would win in a fight?
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:19 pm
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:19 pm
Comprehensive list 1-14
1. Muschamp- Not only is he a good sized dude. He is crazy enough to bite an ear off or go straight for a dick grab and twist
2. Odom- Chiseled jaw line. Peak physical condition. Grit. A true American throwback. A man's man.
3. Mason- he's not that big, but he's in good shape. Still looks athletic and has a tough air about him.
4. Sumlin- decent shape, has been fending off yell leaders for years adding to his toughness quotient.
5. Jones- yes, he's a lesbian but he's the chain wallet, flannel, Jeep Wrangler type and those dudes are usually pretty tough.
6. Bielema- yes, he's a disgusting fat slob but considering the rest of this list he could likely just lean on them for a few minutes until they fell over.
7. Stoops- he's also a disgusting fat slob, but he's less disgusting and fat than Bert. If this were a beauty contest he'd slot up, but it's not.
8. Mullen- the hunch in his back could lead to some effective uppercuts, and if not he has more stamina and could simply run away.
9. Saban- he's the size of a pre pubescent girl, but the man is wiry. Has some fire to him. He would be firmly beat by the coaches above, but he would go down swinging. Have to respect that.
10. Miles- he's so goofy and aloof I can't even picture him in a fight, but he beats the coaches below him because that dude he's married to looks pretty tough.
11. Smart- could have slotted higher as one of the youngest coaches in the league but too much man boob, too much 9 year old boy haircut.
12. Malzahn- he just seems like a huge pussy, no?
13. McElwain- he was definitely the kid everyone picked on growing up
14. Freeze- he was the kid that kids like McElwain picked on after losing their lunch money
Agree? Disagree? Did I under rate the teeth of 13 and 14 in a street fight?
1. Muschamp- Not only is he a good sized dude. He is crazy enough to bite an ear off or go straight for a dick grab and twist
2. Odom- Chiseled jaw line. Peak physical condition. Grit. A true American throwback. A man's man.
3. Mason- he's not that big, but he's in good shape. Still looks athletic and has a tough air about him.
4. Sumlin- decent shape, has been fending off yell leaders for years adding to his toughness quotient.
5. Jones- yes, he's a lesbian but he's the chain wallet, flannel, Jeep Wrangler type and those dudes are usually pretty tough.
6. Bielema- yes, he's a disgusting fat slob but considering the rest of this list he could likely just lean on them for a few minutes until they fell over.
7. Stoops- he's also a disgusting fat slob, but he's less disgusting and fat than Bert. If this were a beauty contest he'd slot up, but it's not.
8. Mullen- the hunch in his back could lead to some effective uppercuts, and if not he has more stamina and could simply run away.
9. Saban- he's the size of a pre pubescent girl, but the man is wiry. Has some fire to him. He would be firmly beat by the coaches above, but he would go down swinging. Have to respect that.
10. Miles- he's so goofy and aloof I can't even picture him in a fight, but he beats the coaches below him because that dude he's married to looks pretty tough.
11. Smart- could have slotted higher as one of the youngest coaches in the league but too much man boob, too much 9 year old boy haircut.
12. Malzahn- he just seems like a huge pussy, no?
13. McElwain- he was definitely the kid everyone picked on growing up
14. Freeze- he was the kid that kids like McElwain picked on after losing their lunch money
Agree? Disagree? Did I under rate the teeth of 13 and 14 in a street fight?
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:20 pm to JesusQuintana
quote:
11. Smart- could have slotted higher as one of the youngest coaches in the league but too much man boob, too much 9 year old boy haircut.
Was an All-SEC safety
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:20 pm to JesusQuintana
quote:
1. Muschamp- Not only is he a good sized dude. He is crazy enough to bite an ear off or go straight for a dick grab and twist
A combination of Muschamp, Frank Martin, and Dawn Staley would rip the SEC to shreds.
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:21 pm to Crowknowsbest
His best days are behind him apparently
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:21 pm to JesusQuintana
I laughed. Good post.
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:21 pm to JesusQuintana
quote:
but he beats the coaches below him because that dude he's married to looks pretty tough
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:22 pm to JesusQuintana
quote:
yes, he's a disgusting fat slob but considering the rest of this list he could likely just lean on them for a few minutes until they fell over.
There was so much potential here and you blew it
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:23 pm to JesusQuintana
Uh oh, a Miles wife reference. Ban coming in 3, 2, 1....
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:23 pm to JesusQuintana
I wouldn't want to fight Miles. He has the chest and guarantee he goes for nut shots
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:26 pm to JesusQuintana
quote:
y and aloof I can't even picture him in a fight, but he beats the coaches below him because that dude he's married to looks pretty tough.
Ban hammer?
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:27 pm to rockiee
Yeah...well, no one is perfect
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:29 pm to JesusQuintana
Are we talking street fight, MMA or boxing? That would change the rankings significantly. Street fight...Muschamp cleans house.
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:31 pm to JesusQuintana
Coach Boom is clear #1.
Only exception is Nick's ability to get other people to fight FOR him, yet he still gets the credit.
Only exception is Nick's ability to get other people to fight FOR him, yet he still gets the credit.
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:32 pm to JesusQuintana
If we're being 100% serious I say Bert
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:34 pm to Glorious
quote:
If we're being 100% serious I say Bert
No matter how bad the season is for Arkansas we will always own the "Our coach can kill and eat your coach" tag until Bert leaves.
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:40 pm to JesusQuintana
Butch jones was in the band ain't no band geek beating up half those guys
Posted on 4/19/16 at 12:42 pm to fhsdemonfan3131
Saban played college football at Kent State. Butch Jones played flute in the high school band.
Yes, I'm sure Saban would be terrified.
Yes, I'm sure Saban would be terrified.
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