Started By
Message
Most painful poop you've ever taken
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:07 pm
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:07 pm
What did you eat to result in the most painful shite of your life?
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:13 pm to TTsTowel
Tacos at a Lakers game.. sat on the toilet the whole game
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:18 pm to TTsTowel
When I had an acute bout of colitis. Whether it was shitting or eating, anything that moved through my intestines felt like passing razor blades.
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:21 pm to TTsTowel
Had a leftover rack of ribs sitting on the counter all day after a BBQ the day before. Got drunk, ate the whole rack.
Woke up at 3AM and purged what felt like the ninth ring of hell from betwixt my buttcheeks
Woke up at 3AM and purged what felt like the ninth ring of hell from betwixt my buttcheeks
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:24 pm to TTsTowel
A post-Oxy poop. Thought I was giving birth
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:32 pm to TTsTowel
Was in an accident a few years ago and the pain killers had me backed up so to speak.....I literally almost blacked out from the pain and almost dialed 911 from the toilet seat, it was that damn bad
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:40 pm to TTsTowel
A couple days after a 3 day weekend bender. Completely dehydrated and it was like passing rocks.
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:47 pm to TTsTowel
Probably gonna be a recurring theme:
Painkillers for a lower back injury, didn't poop for 4 days, wanted to poop, tried to poop, couldn't poop
Finally, on day 5, it happened, took 20 minutes of the most excruciating pain, I actually shed a tear, BUT A MANLY TEAR GODDAMNIT. I exited the restroom covered in sweat, went to the woods and punched a bear in the face.
Painkillers for a lower back injury, didn't poop for 4 days, wanted to poop, tried to poop, couldn't poop
Finally, on day 5, it happened, took 20 minutes of the most excruciating pain, I actually shed a tear, BUT A MANLY TEAR GODDAMNIT. I exited the restroom covered in sweat, went to the woods and punched a bear in the face.
Posted on 8/17/16 at 7:58 pm to TTsTowel
When my hemorrhoids were in full blast the night before the doctors appointment when I got the cure.
Posted on 8/17/16 at 8:03 pm to TTsTowel
I had a wreck in May. To begin with, I had not pooped in a day or so before the wreck. Then, I had to have surgery to repair a broken femur. So fast forward about 8 days after being under anesthesia, loaded with morphine and painkillers, and only having an appetite for bananas, I finally decided it was time to give it a shot.
Combine the pain of 9 days of no fecal evacuations with the fact that the toilet seat was hitting me right where the break was in my leg, and the humiliation of having to be helped to the toilet by my fiancé and mother, it was pretty much the most physical and mentally painful shite in the history of shits.
Combine the pain of 9 days of no fecal evacuations with the fact that the toilet seat was hitting me right where the break was in my leg, and the humiliation of having to be helped to the toilet by my fiancé and mother, it was pretty much the most physical and mentally painful shite in the history of shits.
Posted on 8/17/16 at 8:14 pm to TTsTowel
Had knee surgery in high school and was on pain killers for several weeks... Strained so hard on the toilet I actually cummed a little a couple times... Seriously.
Posted on 8/17/16 at 9:08 pm to TTsTowel
Pulled pork somewhere in Mississippi... i shat everywhere
yobogoya
yobogoya
Posted on 8/18/16 at 7:51 am to TTsTowel
I once had a pilonidal cyst(google that shite) and had surgery to have it removed. The first BM after the procedure was one of the worst experiences of my life. Toilet looked like a murder scene when I was done. I'll leave it at that.
Posted on 8/18/16 at 7:54 am to TTsTowel
you haven't taken a painful shite until you've been an addict to some sort of strong opiate.
Posted on 8/18/16 at 8:29 am to TTsTowel
I passed something resembling the girth of a coke can. It got stuck about half way through, and after about 10 min of it clogging the hole I finally pushed that fricker out. My glasses fogged up after it passed due to the immense heat coming from my body. Really strange.
Posted on 8/20/16 at 8:53 am to TTsTowel
Man I shouldn't share this but I know what it feels like to give birth. And I am a man. After my first back surgery my dad give me a bottle of morphine capsules. I took them like a dumbass.
It didn't dawn on me that I had not took a shite in 3 weeks so during the Bama and Arkansas game in 07 I didn't take morphine instead I wanted to drink some beer for the game. Well by halftime I felt the kid pushing on the door.
Long story short. I should have just went to the hospital. Seriously. I ended up in the bathroom with old towels, latex gloves and a sweaty brow. In the end I had towels that were covered in blood and poo and I did things with my finger I am not proud of. It is worse than what I am telling you.
After that I became friends with laxatives while I took myself off the morphine. To this day I refuse to take opiates without taking laxatives with it. Horror show.
It didn't dawn on me that I had not took a shite in 3 weeks so during the Bama and Arkansas game in 07 I didn't take morphine instead I wanted to drink some beer for the game. Well by halftime I felt the kid pushing on the door.
Long story short. I should have just went to the hospital. Seriously. I ended up in the bathroom with old towels, latex gloves and a sweaty brow. In the end I had towels that were covered in blood and poo and I did things with my finger I am not proud of. It is worse than what I am telling you.
After that I became friends with laxatives while I took myself off the morphine. To this day I refuse to take opiates without taking laxatives with it. Horror show.
This post was edited on 8/20/16 at 9:56 am
Posted on 8/24/16 at 1:16 pm to TTsTowel
An entire jar of pickled jalapeños.
Popular
Back to top
Follow SECRant for SEC Football News