LewDawg

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And their other alter BigLoser

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Do we need to beg Lew to let pio back on tRant or something?

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Milkshake did great. Nice to see him getting some more exposure now as a reward for his work on Severance.

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LewDawg doesn’t do long-winded manifestos – nah, he’s a one-liner machine. If you post something dumb or repetitive, he’ll drop in like a drunk referee throwing a flag. One newbie tried sharing breaking news that had already been posted ten times, and LewDawg pounced in all-caps fury: “YOU’RE THE FIRST PERSON TO POST THIS shite!”? For the record, that is Lew-speak for “Delete this, we’ve seen it, you’re late.” The man patrols the forum for reposts like it’s his full-time job. I hear his resume just says “Chief of the Grammar Police? Nah, Chief of the Repeat Police.” He’s basically the hall monitor of SECRant, if the hall monitor carried a flask.

Ah yes, the flask. See, LewDawg has a bit of a reputation for enjoying the spirits – and by that I mean the 90 proof kind. Our boy posts so often under the influence that Jack Daniel’s is considering sponsoring his account. His fellow Ranters even joke about it: “LewDawg is a drunk, not a murderer.”? (As compliments go, that’s… one of a kind). But hey, he’s a jovial drunk, hopefully. When Lew’s typing at midnight, you can almost hear the bourbon sloshing. His spelling actually improves after a few shots – it goes from southern drawl to Shakespeare with a twang. If posts start coming in at 2 AM about how Florida can go frick itself and how Waffle House is elite cuisine, you know Lew’s on his nightly bender again, living his best life.

Now, content-wise, the man has obsessions. Georgia Bulldogs? Oh, he bleeds red and black – rumor is he barks at his phone when Kirby Smart comes on TV. He’ll trash-talk Florida so hard that Gator fans leave the thread feeling like they got dunked on by Steve Spurrier and curb-stomped by Ugga the mascot. He once gleefully noted that CBS reporter Allie LaForce got to witness “Florida getting bent the frick over in person” – delivered with the same casual joy most people reserve for puppy videos. That’s our Lew, always eloquent in his schadenfreude.

But it’s not all sports and sarcasm; LewDawg is also our resident connoisseur of fine… posteriors. You know those high-brow, intellectual threads like “Jessica Biel’s butt” or “Best boobs on TV”? Yeah, Lew is front row center. Within minutes he’ll drop a poetic gem like, “When that left cheek pops up..... frick.”? Pure poetry, folks. Shakespeare wrote sonnets about love; LewDawg writes haikus about hindquarters. The man can spot a nice butt faster than a five-star recruit can spot a bag of cash. He’s so consistently lewd that even his username is basically “Lewd Dog”. If there’s cleavage mentioned on the Rant, Lew’s already there with a witty one-liner and a drool bucket. Some say he tried to change his name to “LewdWag” once – fitting, because he’ll wag at anything lewd.

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2nd place school netting

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