SEC teams as beers

Saw a little of this on another thread, decided to steal it:

Alabama: Budweiser - again, this was stated in another thread, but it's 100% accurate. This is the famous Alabama Crimson Tide, we know of no other football team which costs so much to recruit and age. Our exclusive Dodge Charger process produced an amount of SEC-W, SEC-CG, and National Championships you will find in no other program at any price.

Auburn: Michelob - in the same family as Bud, but Michelob drinkers and Aubie fans they will tell you how much better their team is even though we all know its only cheered for by pussies and golfers.

Arkansas: Natty Lite - the dregs of the vat. Can get you absolutely hammered drunk if you consume too much of it. Hog fans, like Natty Light drinkers, swear every year their product will get better, but it never does.

Georgia: Miller Lite. Great beer that's usually pretty good. Lots of fun times to be had over the years. Tastes great, less filling is a euphemism for their regular season and playoff season.

Texas: Coors, The Banquet Beer. Coors drinkers, like Shorthorn fans, are obnoxious, arrogant and will gladly tell you why their beer/team is the greatest. They overspend for a poor quality product that had its heydey in the 60's/70's when Burt and Jerry made a run for it.

Texas A&M: Dos Equis. Never considered to be the worst beer in the fridge, but its also never the best. Usually bought in 12(th man) packs. Drink 8, give away 4.

Tenner: Milwaukee's Best. They get made fun of a lot because they're both for poor white trash. Every trailer park in the south has at least 1 trailer with a barrel full of these cans and a bright orange flag and or jumpsuit hanging on the porch railing.

Vandy: Stella Artois. A beer for the educated amongst us. This beer and football program a eerily similiar. Nobody cared a thing about them for years, then suddenly every other commercial is Clooney pimping these suds. Money changes people.

South Carolina: Red Dog. The fans of both are adamant about the success of their product. They hoot and holler and send off awesome "We Comin!" GIF's, then after about 6 games/can they shite the bed.

Kentucky: Milwaukees Best Light: aka "Blue Yummies". A beer and a team that you're kinda just born to cheer for/drink. You can pound blue yummies all fall and not feel a thing. Drinkers and fans always seem to puke and rally between football and basketball seasons.

Ole Miss: White Claw. Not a real program or beer, but they pretend to be. Fans/drinkers are scared of spilling on their seersuckers and frilly dresses. Will be forgotten about when this group of GenZ loonies graduate from school with their Urban Studies degrees.

Miss State: Busch. State fans/Busch drinkers both like their beer and teams to be "crik cold". They'll never be a t the top, always cloer to the bottom. Had 1 really good year about a decade back, which is the same thing Busch drinkers say in the unemployment line.

Mizzou: Yuengling. Nerds drink and root for these two. Both have had an uptick in success recently, but like OM, its because of GenZ, in this case the nerds of GenZ. Lot of Battlestar Galactica vibes from this group.

Oklahoma: Coors Light. This one was the most obvious one. A watered down verson of Coors. Any bbq that has Coors Light, there 2 things. 1, a fight between women, and 2 an arrogant prick who brought their own Coors Banquet Beer jawing about how much better their beer is.

LSU: Icehouse. Never seen a moderate fan of either the beer or the team. If you drink IH, you're drinking a minimum of 20. And then the game starts and you hammer down 20 more. Both get overlooked somewhat even though they both provide solid bang for the buck.

Florida: Corona. Man they had some great years in the 90's and 2000's. Everyone loved them. They were unique. Now everyone is udes to them. You can find Florida gear or Corona at every gas station in the state. And, every offseason, la playa awaits, cause la playoffs ain't happening.