BIRMINGHAM, AL - Southeastern Conference (SEC) commissioner Greg Sankey announced today that effective immediately the SEC Officiating leadership will partner with FIFA to onboard many of the World Cup referees ahead of the 2026 college football season.

According to Sankey, "Along with the rest of the world, we have been watching the World Cup very closely. Based on what we have seen, the FIFA referees embody the rare blend of incompetence and corruption that we seek in all of our league officials." Watching how these soccer matches have been officiated, Sankey said he saw something very familiar and comforting to him. Several games featured calls by the referees that were inexplicable to everyone watching, and they led even the casual observers to wonder if the referees were involved in something corrupt or illegal. And to further emphasize the similarities between FIFA and the SEC, Sankey observed FIFA referees are also shielded from any form of accountability.

Sankey has assembled a Task Force of AD's from hand-picked SEC schools to determine how quickly the FIFA referees can be assimilated into the SEC officiating crews in time for the Fall football season. "We will need some time to coach the FIFA referees on the SEC pecking order and which programs to protect. We can't have them going out there applying rules fairly," Sankey said.

When asked if he was concerned that the FIFA referees had no experience in officiating American football, noting that most of them didn't even know the most basic rules of the game, Sankey replied, "Knowledge of the rules is really arbitrary. We in the SEC league offices provide clear guidance as to how our games are to unfold, and truly anyone with no conscience or moral compass can follow those guidelines and be successful."

Observers believe the partnership between the SEC and FIFA is a natural fit because both organizations are led by a small cabal of rich guys who don't care about the sport as long as they're getting their kickbacks and free trips.