re: RollBanaRoll: Meltdown - Iron Bowl Edition

Ok Bama!

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- Eventually the AUburn bullshite has to run out… right? Like the devil is past due on collecting some goddamn barner souls. I swear in the next 5 years the devil say to himself “Alright Gus you motherfricker you’re past due,” Half the auburn players will start shitting themselves as Malzahn slowly walks to midfield in the middle of a play. Everyone stops and watches as his eyes turn the brightest shade of green the earth has ever seen. Fans and players watch on in horror as Gus makes noises too horrible to come from a human body. The players on the field run back to their sidelines as the noises grow louder and louder and Gus begins to levitate off the ground. Below him the ground starts to rumble, then splits open as Gus Malzahn starts descending slowly into the depths of hell while screaming “NO DON’T TAKE ME, IT WASN’T WORTH IT PLEASE TAKE CHIZIK INSTEAD!!!” His pleas fall on deaf ears as the ground closes up and swallows him whole. All the spectators watch on in stunned silence, then slowly the teams and fans walk out of the stadium, unable to ever forget what they saw. Auburn immediately shuts down the university and the town is permanently evacuated. The army launches a nuclear bomb into the permanently vacated town formerly known as auburn just for good measure. A governmental blockade is permanently placed around the area and a metal dome forever covers the area to dissuade any from visiting the relics left from that time. Legend says the only things remaining after the nuclear blast were a waffle house sign, charred bits of an auburn visor, and a few feathers from an eagle.

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I used to think LSU had the most emotionally reactive, panic driven, catastrophic roller coaster fan base but the Alabama fans are right there with them.

Those shrieking schizo women run the gamut during a game. They dog the hell out of Saban, then call him the GOAT. They dog the hell out of Sark all year every game, bash his play calling for not running Najee or rolling out Tua or calling pass plays for Jones then praise him as a genius. They shite hard on their players. They don’t want to talk about it...but many of them were shitting on Tua, Probably the GOAT QB there, including in the game right before he was injured.

They are every bit as big of an insane asylum as any other fan base in this country.

Aggies surrender. Bama now claims the 12th Man!

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They are every bit as big of an insane asylum as any other fan base in this country.

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You’re usually always even keel George, just calmly calling it as you see it while staying away from prognostications of unbridled doom and outbursts of nihilistic euphoria while the storm of chaos rages around you.

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Sheesh, you should have seen me in 2006

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Not many here will agree with you, but I appreciate the kind words anyway.

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Well, you frickers were insufferable for years when you rose back to prominence. For the last few years though, y’all have (mostly) acted like you’ve been there before. And because you aren’t douchebags, the rest of us can enjoy and appreciate the program for what it is.

Now, think about that one member of your family...the one where you have always been like “what the frick happened to the gene pool with this one” when you’d see them at family events...now imagine they won $100M in the lottery and how they’d behave. That’s UGA. And the irony is, still, 1980.