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‘Twas the Night Before Bama- Original Poem
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:20 pm
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:20 pm
‘‘Twas the night before Bama
‘‘Twas the night before Bama,
And all through the south,
The corndogs and gumps,
Were all runnin’ they mouth,
The Tide flags were hung,
In the trailer with care,
In hopes that lil’ Nick would,
Whoop that derrière,
The siblings were nestled,
Together in bed,
While my cousin/Nephew,
Made meth in the shed,
So Ma in her outfit,
With her roll tide hat,
Was cleaning the floor,
Where tobacco I’d spat,
When out on the lawn there
arose such a ruckus,
I picked up my old shotgun,
And got off my tuchus,
Away to the screen door
I flew like a turd,
After Taco Bell night,
To see what I had heard,
The moonbeams that shone,
On the pink flamingos,
Gave the lustre of Bismol,
The kind we call Pepto,
When what to my whiskey blind
eyes did appear,
Than an LSU bus,
and the grinding of gears,
And a coach with an accent,
So garbled and thick,
And taller than the yard gnomes,
So it couldn’t be Nick,
As rapid as tigers,
his players they came,
As they came off the bus,
Coach O called them by name,
“Gerbel drega, gom jarmba,
Plin yugga martisse,
Mongoba de larbo,
humsar flogga frees.”
His voice was like gravel,
As he hollered and cussed,
Sounding like he eats gumbo,
Made with cigarette butts,
The Tigers, they grunted,
got the bus out the mud,
They looked hungry and lean,
Like they were out for blood,
Like gumbo and corndogs,
The smell, how it lingered,
And I wrinkled my nose,
Like mah booty was fingered
Then a young man stared at me,
With eyes so ice cold,
He stood out from the rest,
Like a Ram from the fold,
As I took me a swig,
He just waved nice and slow,
And I knew that it had to be,
Mr. Cool, Iceman Joe,
Then the team did the Haka,
Out front of my trailer,
And woke up my daughter,
‘Fore my nephson could nail her,
They tipped over our rascals,
Pulled down our Bama flag,
Took our bribes for the refs,
And stuffed them in a bag,
Then got back on the bus,
All except for Coach O,
And his eyes filled with fire,
Gold and purple the glow,
And the last thing he said,
As they drove out of sight,
“We comin, GEAUX Tigers,
Here’s to Saturday night.”
‘‘Twas the night before Bama,
And all through the south,
The corndogs and gumps,
Were all runnin’ they mouth,
The Tide flags were hung,
In the trailer with care,
In hopes that lil’ Nick would,
Whoop that derrière,
The siblings were nestled,
Together in bed,
While my cousin/Nephew,
Made meth in the shed,
So Ma in her outfit,
With her roll tide hat,
Was cleaning the floor,
Where tobacco I’d spat,
When out on the lawn there
arose such a ruckus,
I picked up my old shotgun,
And got off my tuchus,
Away to the screen door
I flew like a turd,
After Taco Bell night,
To see what I had heard,
The moonbeams that shone,
On the pink flamingos,
Gave the lustre of Bismol,
The kind we call Pepto,
When what to my whiskey blind
eyes did appear,
Than an LSU bus,
and the grinding of gears,
And a coach with an accent,
So garbled and thick,
And taller than the yard gnomes,
So it couldn’t be Nick,
As rapid as tigers,
his players they came,
As they came off the bus,
Coach O called them by name,
“Gerbel drega, gom jarmba,
Plin yugga martisse,
Mongoba de larbo,
humsar flogga frees.”
His voice was like gravel,
As he hollered and cussed,
Sounding like he eats gumbo,
Made with cigarette butts,
The Tigers, they grunted,
got the bus out the mud,
They looked hungry and lean,
Like they were out for blood,
Like gumbo and corndogs,
The smell, how it lingered,
And I wrinkled my nose,
Like mah booty was fingered
Then a young man stared at me,
With eyes so ice cold,
He stood out from the rest,
Like a Ram from the fold,
As I took me a swig,
He just waved nice and slow,
And I knew that it had to be,
Mr. Cool, Iceman Joe,
Then the team did the Haka,
Out front of my trailer,
And woke up my daughter,
‘Fore my nephson could nail her,
They tipped over our rascals,
Pulled down our Bama flag,
Took our bribes for the refs,
And stuffed them in a bag,
Then got back on the bus,
All except for Coach O,
And his eyes filled with fire,
Gold and purple the glow,
And the last thing he said,
As they drove out of sight,
“We comin, GEAUX Tigers,
Here’s to Saturday night.”
This post was edited on 11/8/19 at 8:31 pm
32
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:21 pm to fr33manator
8 in a row.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:21 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:21 pm to fr33manator
I got bored 1/4th of the way through
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:23 pm to fr33manator
Stay classy Tigers, Mississippi appreciates you.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:23 pm to fr33manator
program produces, but fan base is pure trash. EVERYONE knows that
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:23 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:26 pm to fr33manator
I am probing the minority here but I thought you did a pretty good job.
8 n a rauex! Da 9th is coming
8 n a rauex! Da 9th is coming
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:31 pm to fr33manator
I giggled like ma uncle was ticklin may
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:32 pm to fr33manator
Gay. 8 in a row. Joe Burrow looks like a Disney movie villain.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:33 pm to spacewrangler
It’s all in good fun man. 
Lots of little jokes in there everyone can laugh at, on all sides.
Lots of little jokes in there everyone can laugh at, on all sides.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:33 pm to fr33manator
You put way too much effort into something no one cares about. Just like your parents did.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:33 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:33 pm to CNB
quote:same here. I wholly appreciated the effort, but GD that was a waste of creativity and time.
got bored 1/4th of the way through
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:35 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:36 pm to fr33manator
Signature A for effort OP.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:38 pm to fr33manator
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The LSU football team has lost 8 straight games vs Alabama,
Tomorrow will be 9 straight.
Violets are blue,
The LSU football team has lost 8 straight games vs Alabama,
Tomorrow will be 9 straight.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:38 pm to fr33manator
As if any of the llliteratAe can read.
Well done, fr33.
Well done, fr33.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:39 pm to GoT1de
quote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The LSU football team has lost 8 straight games vs Alabama,
Tomorrow will be 9 straight.
That's beautiful.
Posted on 11/8/19 at 7:43 pm to fr33manator
It pains me that anybody would down vote something this original and witty. Awesome as always, man !
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