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Offseason thread: what non-SEC football program most resembles each SEC program?
Posted on 5/7/15 at 2:58 pm
Posted on 5/7/15 at 2:58 pm
Alabama: Notre Dame. Tons of history, lots of claimed championships. Most of the fan base did not attend the University. Generally unbearable.
Arkansas: Wisconsin. Solid program with a lot of history, can't seem to quite get over the hump. Great facilities, they'll remind you of this fact. Always playing second or third fiddle in conference. Bert.
Auburn: Michigan State. Has more than its fair share of success but overshadowed by its in-state big brother.
Florida: Oregon. Both programs started in the 90s. Tremendous success under a recently departed coach. Fans are slightly bitter about this fact.
Georgia: Texas. Lots of money, lots of tradition, tons of in-state talent. Best college towns in their respective conferences. Consistently underachieving.
Kentucky: Kansas. When does basketball season start?
LSU: Michigan. Play in two of the best venues in college football. Fans are ready to walk off a ledge at a moment's notice. Paranoid of the decline. It's real.
Mississippi State: Kansas State. Small ag schools located in the middle of nowhere. Frequently left out of the conversation but still find a way to occasionally compete despite the lack of resources.
Missouri: Minnesota. Only major program in a fairly large state. Lack of success given that fact. Mostly ignored by the national media. Both have coaches that have brought them back from the dead. Both full of hoodie-wearing Yankees.
Ole Miss: Maryland. Interesting programs. Unjustifiably pretentious fans. Middle of the road teams.
South Carolina: Clemson. But shittier. Because they are more alike their in-state rivals than they could possibly imagine.
Tennessee: USC. Traditional powerhouses. Can't seem to get it together lately. Both got screwed by Lane Kiffin. Both like to throw decade old statistics at you.
Texas A&M: Virginia Tech. But much weirder. Both have little brother syndrome; could probably attend counseling together.
Vanderbilt: Northwestern. Token, top-notch private schools in powerful conferences full of public schools. Both located in great cities that wouldn't know the difference if the respective football programs folded tomorrow.
Arkansas: Wisconsin. Solid program with a lot of history, can't seem to quite get over the hump. Great facilities, they'll remind you of this fact. Always playing second or third fiddle in conference. Bert.
Auburn: Michigan State. Has more than its fair share of success but overshadowed by its in-state big brother.
Florida: Oregon. Both programs started in the 90s. Tremendous success under a recently departed coach. Fans are slightly bitter about this fact.
Georgia: Texas. Lots of money, lots of tradition, tons of in-state talent. Best college towns in their respective conferences. Consistently underachieving.
Kentucky: Kansas. When does basketball season start?
LSU: Michigan. Play in two of the best venues in college football. Fans are ready to walk off a ledge at a moment's notice. Paranoid of the decline. It's real.
Mississippi State: Kansas State. Small ag schools located in the middle of nowhere. Frequently left out of the conversation but still find a way to occasionally compete despite the lack of resources.
Missouri: Minnesota. Only major program in a fairly large state. Lack of success given that fact. Mostly ignored by the national media. Both have coaches that have brought them back from the dead. Both full of hoodie-wearing Yankees.
Ole Miss: Maryland. Interesting programs. Unjustifiably pretentious fans. Middle of the road teams.
South Carolina: Clemson. But shittier. Because they are more alike their in-state rivals than they could possibly imagine.
Tennessee: USC. Traditional powerhouses. Can't seem to get it together lately. Both got screwed by Lane Kiffin. Both like to throw decade old statistics at you.
Texas A&M: Virginia Tech. But much weirder. Both have little brother syndrome; could probably attend counseling together.
Vanderbilt: Northwestern. Token, top-notch private schools in powerful conferences full of public schools. Both located in great cities that wouldn't know the difference if the respective football programs folded tomorrow.
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Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:01 pm to BreakawayZou83
This was actually pretty creative. 
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:03 pm to BreakawayZou83
This would be better if you compared SEC teams to NFL team.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:04 pm to BreakawayZou83
Mizzou resembles a toilet that the West Champion takes a shite in. First week of December we get the bubble guts and unload on you peasants.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:05 pm to BreakawayZou83
quote:
Alabama: Oklahoma. Tons of history, lots of championships. Pattern of generating large amounts of conference money that is mooched by Missouri. Generally unbearable
FIFY
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:06 pm to BreakawayZou83
Now THIS is an offseason thread lol
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:09 pm to BreakawayZou83
quote:
Missouri: Kansas.
Because they both think they started the Civil War and no one gives a shite.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:09 pm to BreakawayZou83
quote:
Auburn: Michigan State. Has more than its fair share of success but overshadowed by its in-state big brother.
quote:
LSU: Michigan.
So Auburn has 2 big brehs? Nicely done. Maybe Garrison will quit crying into his pillow about his girlfriend and read this
This post was edited on 5/7/15 at 3:09 pm
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:11 pm to BreakawayZou83
Some of those aren't terrible, the UF-Oregon comparison is pretty bad.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:14 pm to BreakawayZou83
A better comparison for us would be FSU. 
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:14 pm to BreakawayZou83
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:14 pm to BreakawayZou83
quote:
Georgia: Texas. Lots of money, lots of tradition, tons of in-state talent. Best college towns in their respective conferences. Consistently underachieving.
I came in prepared to talk shite about our comparison, but that's actually not bad at all.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:18 pm to BreakawayZou83
quote:
South Carolina: Clemson. But shittier. Because they are more alike their in-state rivals than they could possibly imagine.
SCAR and the taterheads are nothing alike. You were doing okay but you tried going for the insult factor with SCAR fans and failed.
SCAR and NC State perhaps ... SCAR and Va Tech in a stretch. SCAR and any number of other comparisons ... but SCAR and the taterheads? lulz No. It's just proof that you don't get it and were trying too hard to insult SCAR fans.
Rivalry Application ... once again, denied.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:19 pm to BreakawayZou83
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:20 pm to BreakawayZou83
Now that I look over the full list, it's actually really well done. I think Ole Miss could use a better comparison but that's nitpicking. I also would give SC a worse team than clemson. Clemson is mostly meh but they were a national power in teh early 80s and have had some stretches where they make national noise. Outside of about a 5 year stretch which has happened in the last 5 years, SC hasn't really had anything at all to point to. Every other school seems pretty spot on.
Well done.
Well done.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:35 pm to BreakawayZou83
quote:
South Carolina: Kansas St, a program that was lifted from the cellar dweller status to become a perpetual 10win team under a legendary coach. Unable to support this success longterm after losing HOF guidance
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Auburn:Georgia Tech, programs that historically yoyo from national relevance to the forgotten, crazy coaches running gimmick offenses have them in the national title picture while simultaneously at risk of being laughed at
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Georgia: UCLA. Ton of instate talent, ton of potential and consistently never breaks into the champions club. Made even more painful as opposing teams raid their talent pool to win championships
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LSU: Penn State - Unbelieveable in state talent, historical success and good but not great coaches mask the fact that neither team is on the verge of championships. Both are like North Korea, on your mind but not being taken seriously
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Missouri: Michigan State - Despite recruiting "less" talent, their coaches always do more with less and puts their teams at the top of the conference. Just like MSU is an outsider to the Big 10 traditional powers, Mizzou gets no love despite being SEC runner up consecutively
quote:
Tennessee: Nebraska. Traditional powerhouses that don't have in state recruiting grounds. Neither one seems to be able to compete in the fast pace modern CFB and their fans only wish they could go back to the 90s
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:36 pm to BreakawayZou83
Awesome thread 
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:37 pm to BreakawayZou83
Haha. Epic post!
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:37 pm to BreakawayZou83
You Missouri hillbillies don't know a thing about SEC history or fanbases. Quit putting your foot in the mouth.
Posted on 5/7/15 at 3:37 pm to BreakawayZou83
Ole Miss = Texas State with pine trees
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