Auburn has a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong history of firing and paying off its coaches to leave.

For all you youngin's, Jordan retired in 1975. That was 44 years ago. Think about that...e-v-e-r-y football coach since 1975 has been fired or forced out. Of the two, which way is Gussy headed to? If Auburn loses to Florida tomorrow, will Gussy be headed to the bussy, only to be paid off and given a retirement home to live out his days in Auburn? Like Dye? Like Chizik?

Auburn: The Graveyard of College Football Coaching

Pat Dye, who is in the College Football Hall of Fame, won four SEC titles, including three in a row. He coached Bo Jackson, and defeated Paul Bryant. HE WAS FORCED OUT DUE TO CHEATING.

Terry Bowden went 11-0 (but again, Auburn was CHEATING and the team was on PROBATION). Following a disastrous start to the 1998 season, he faced a bunch of criticism and you-know-who-Lowder meddling. AD Housel gave no assurances to him so he resigned (hint: he was forced out).

Enter Brother Bill Oliver. Five games later, exit Bill Oliver.

Tommy Tuberville. The ONLY coach in Auburn history to beat Alabama 6 straight times. Went unbeaten in 2004. No matter. Tuberville was paid $5.1 million dollars to get the hell out (I'da taken it, too!). Tuberville now resides comfortably within the confines of autumnal Auburn.

Here comes the savior of AU football, Gene Chizik: Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs released a statement that said: "I know that we have found the right fit for Auburn. Gene's body of work during his 23 years in this profession is remarkable. He has a strong knowledge of this athletics program, this university and the community, and he knows how to be successful in the Southeastern Conference. He is a high-energy coach that is an outstanding motivator and demands a tough, physical style of football."

Gene won the 2011 national championship. No matter. Chizik stays 4 years and is promptly fired. His firing cost AU $11 million. But, Chizik is handsomely paid $7.5 million and now sleeps on feather beds in the quiet confines of Auburn, Alabama.

Now, we have Gussy. Beat two #1 ranked teams in a row and played in the SEC championship game. Gussy was ready to be crowned King with a coronation that would make Queen Elizabeth II jealous. He was awarded a brand new $49 million/7 yr contract. Then he and AU were promptly throttled into the ground, 28-7, by UGA. So long SEC title. So long College Football Playoff hopes.

There was an outcry heard around the world. Auburn loses to Central Florida and Saturday Night Live has to change its script to accommodate a new laugh line that was more than embarrassing for the AU nation.

Aaaah, but how we love a comeback. Or, is it really a comeback? Will Auburn survive a wicked and treacherous swamp and preserve its beloved Gussy from the meal plate? Or, will they lose yet another expected moment of triumph only to be dashed against the walls of failed expectations and Gussy be sent to the gallow horrors of an Auburn firing?

As we all await with heightened anticipation tomorrow's gladiatorial battle between the Tigers & Gators, we shall see. We...shall...see.

Already, I can see Auburn in the distance....with an axe in its hands.

This post was edited on 10/4/19 at 10:56 pm