So, I was thinking just as my bottle of Maker's yielded its soul to me that...

...I would give my first born to see Alabama run through a giant paper banner - high school style - only to have it busted through too soon by Leon Brown. My life would be complete. For those of you waiting on my first born, keep waitin'. The wife keeps drinking my day care; it'll be a minute.

Secondly, I'm tired of you f@gs, here and elsewhere, that wax lyrical about our QB "woes." Coker actually commanded the first O nicely for the majority of time against the best D - albeit vanilla - he'll face all year. Sustained drives for a few scores. We'll be fine, and your whining sickens the brainful. Somewhere the ghost of The Snake weeps at your weakness of spirit.

D. Our D-Line is huffing ionized deer antler stem cells, and I, for one, really think A'shawn Robinson has eaten human heart meat. Sliced thin, on a Ritz. That's good eatin'.

4: If you have a problem with my teaser title,

Thirdly, stop complaining about not having a player who dominantly does what some ex-Bama player did. Yes, Arenas was a corner-blitz machine, but that was a different team with different coaches and different players and a different (slightly) scheme.
Enjoy the dynasty laid before you. This does not come around very often. You do not appear smart by being a big girl's blouse about "what we used to have." "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f@ck the prom queen."

JK Scott is the best punter who ever lived. He's just early on in the living process.

Quit apologizing for our batshit crazy fans. Yes, we - apparently - drag our balls on folks and aren't very carfeul with Round-Up, but that's what the Roll Tide is about. We're the best. I can't help it if the other teams' nut-balls can't hang.

Prediction: This year, Rueben Foster will hit someone so hard that he instantaneously advances fusion technology forward 2 decades, creating a black hole that swallows the universe. Foster is the Apocalypse.

Cooper was not "our whole offense last year" in such a way that it cause you queers to question Kiffin or our current offensive squad. Did it ever occur to you that using Cooper so much was a choice, rather than a fallback? Particularly after the loss of Drake? We'll be fine. Half the O-Coordinators in CFB would sodomize a mogwai on camera to be able to utilize the weapons at Kiff's disposal.

JK Scott just punted a man into space. He works for NASA.
Secondary violation has already been reported.

E. "Well Eli, Smokey just came out of the tunnel, and he's about 100 yards away from me now, and if I had my deer rifle I believe I could drop him. Back to you Eli"

He's got all the raps in there.

auburn: I wipe my @ss with your tradition in the most literal of understanding. You celebrate with what I put doodoo on.

Look, I'm not callin' 15-0. However, I am awaiting the hellish unleashment of a Bama team that no one wants to play. A whirling dervish of organized annihilation. A team that eats Hope.

Roll Tide.