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How did you get the birds and the bees talk from your parents?

by Chicken

July 19, 201175 Comments

So my buddy Kalunda (not his real name) stopped my last night to return my Tivo and borrow some toilet paper. We hadn't chatted in a while so we grabbed a few beers and headed out to the back patio.

He said that his new girlfriend (some hottie he met at Whole Foods) has a 9-year old and she is ready to give him "the talk". And she wants the K-man to help her give the little boy "the talk".

He thinks that 9-years old is too young for the talk and he seems really nervous about being involved, especially since he hasn't even bagged this chick yet.

I told him to keep it simple and not to get too technical. I told him to give the little kids the basics and let the boy ask questions to get more details. If the kids wants to know more, he will ask.

How did you get "the talk" from your parents? How old were you?

Filed Under: New Orleans Saints

Originally published on TigerDroppings.com

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LSU fan 246•155 months

my mom simply told me "dont come home with a kid"

that was it

When in Rome•155 months

quote:
my mom simply told me "dont come home with a kid"

Samesies :lol:

WoWyHi•155 months

quote:
my mom simply told me "dont come home with a kid"

:rotflmao:

Geauxtiga•155 months

I accidently walked in on 'em.

GRTiger•155 months

My dad just hid his porn collection in my closet and never said anything when they were always in a different order.

Ash Williams•155 months

quote:
He thinks that 9-years old is too young for the talk and he seems really nervous about being involved, especially since he hasn't even bagged this chick yet.

he should tell her he needs to study up before giving the talk

9 years old is really young, but i guess kids are getting into that shite younger and younger these days

my dad tried to give me the talk when i was 16, i quickly informed him that movies and television already did the job years earlier

HurricaneDunc•155 months

My mom offered to talk to me and draw me pictures. :casty: I declined

ksayetiger•155 months

quote:
How did you get "the talk" from your parents?

i actually got it from my first serious girlfriends mother. it was about a 15 minute conversation that basically consisted of "if you put your dick in my daughter i will kill you"

oh yeah- that's the girl i lost my virginity to :lol:

whit•155 months

quote:
Kalunda

Out of all the fake names you could pick, you picked that one?!?

:rotflmao:

Volvagia•155 months

quote:
whit

Noob

SG_Geaux•155 months

When I was like 11 or 12 my mom brought a book home form the library and had me read it

yankeeundercover•155 months

quote:
Out of all the fake names you could pick, you picked that one?!?

you must be new here.

Show 2 more replies in this conversation

LSUzealot•155 months

quote:
So my buddy Kalunda (not his real name) stopped my last night to return my Tivo and borrow some toilet paper. We hadn't chatted in a while so we grabbed a few beers and headed out to the back patio.

:lol:

urinetrouble•155 months

quote:
Kalunda (not his real name)

What is the deal with this?

ZZTIGERS•155 months

I didn't.

lsusteve1•155 months

quote:
How did you get "the talk" from your parents?

Never did....

But I highly suggest the class at Woman's Hospital......my son thanked me after taking it.

Volvagia•155 months

My father slipped a "Whats happening to my body" book under the door when I was like 11.

:lol:

yankeeundercover•155 months

I don't think he should be involved.

I mean, that 9-year old will forever remember hearing about sex from some dude who was trying to plow his mom.

And 9 is what, 3rd grade? Too young... But then again, kids these days are subjected to a lot more sex in everyday life (media, news, tv, video games, etc...)

Fight4LSU•155 months

I didn't, that's what friends in middle school and scrambled playboy channels were for.

el Gaucho•155 months

I was raised by wolves

Ash Williams•155 months

i like how this is already a "Topic of Interest" at the bottom of the page

heatom2•155 months

My dad said he wanted to talk to me about sex and I asked him what he wanted to know.

TchoupitoulasTiger•155 months

Never got a talk. Anything having to do with sex began with "when the sperm and egg unite". And my parents wonder why they don't have grandchildren.

King•155 months

I was dry humping girls and the ground to the point of orgasm by kindergarten

Akit1•155 months

5th grade. Couldn't stop cringing as my mom described each step like a doctor.

Show 1 last reply in this conversation

PRK•155 months

My parents paid good money for me to learn that shite in Catholic school.

Cajun Revolution•155 months

Just found out from kids at school really. I think that's pretty natural. My parents chose not to scar my childhood

SlowFlowPro•155 months

quote:
How did you get "the talk" from your parents?

my mom bought a video "where did i come from?" that explained everything in detail

my dad tried to talk to me about it directly

quote:
How old were you?

mom: 6
dad: like 20

LSU fan 246•155 months

quote:
dad: like 20

wtf :lol:

SlowFlowPro•155 months

quote:
wtf

yeah it was one of those moments you can't forget

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