Wherein a Gator noob offers a variety of pedestrian takes upon joining the board

What’s up, long time reader first time poster.

First, why is there such a lack of Gator fans. We held the longest sell out streak in the SEC so I know we have a couple of fans, you’d think we would get invites for more of us to the gosh darn (not sure if cursing is completely accepted here so I’ll use Mississippi words) Party. Also thank 20ozBulldog for bringing me here

So since it’s my first post. Let’s get a lot of TL;DR replies and make a few friends/enemies as well. Have been reading this site since last football year and just finally decided to start posting (I am like the fat, overpaid guy at Arky; I like to take it slow). So figured I’d post my thoughts both currently and from the past I’ve had of you guys…by team.


Alabama – Grant is a good basketball coach, stop whining. On the football side I’ve got nothing. You have won three of the last four and no program besides my own has been as impactful in the SEC in my personal time as a fan. So you can be as cocky as you want you’ve earned it and look forward to meeting you yet again in the SEC title game sometime soon.

Arkansas – Flagship? Move to Haiti, they care about track and field.

Auburn – You’re welcome for Cam. I expect gift baskets from now until your next title. Luckily I love gift baskets, and that is a long ways away(stay away from fruit baskets, who the hell likes those)!

Florida – I’m a Florida fan. I love my Gators and sometimes will go full homer. But I try to stay cool as long as treated well and not having my Gators assaulted. I will say this site seems to dismiss us a little quick for this upcoming season. We have had continued success long enough (only two really bad years in 22 now, come on) to expect at least a little respect from the SEC members. Dismissing us immediately from the SEC title race is quite absurd. Good staff, elite recruiting. Schedule is brutal but let the season start before dismissing a pretty good program is all I ask. I think that is fair.

Georgia – I hate Georgia. But I won’t speak of this right now. I will actually give my two cents on the Richt convo constantly going on here. Richt is a very good coach. MOST teams who’ve played UF have failed the past 12 years in overall record, and that’s really his only unimpressive head to head. The guy wins constantly, but he has been unlucky. It’s really that simple. 02 Georgia was as good as any team that year including Miami and Ohio State. 05 Georgia was incredible, but their QB got injured before their game vs Florida ending their chance. I will say it’s embarrassing you are the last SEC champ to lose an OOC game or bowl game(it’s true look it up, damn we’re a good conference). Last year, one weird play and time expires or you’re in the title game possibly. He has had four seasons that he had a good enough team on the field to win a title. 02, 05, 07, 12. Honestly though, last year may have been that year and you blew it again. I mean Bama was very good obviously, but you had the senior defenders, the veteran QB, a great Oline and great RB core and an easy west schedule. That was the perfect year to win a title. Five yards short. I still don’t get why your defense was so awful for a lot of the season it shouldn’t have been. Bama got by with an easy East schedule last year. They had a young defense and it showed and was easily the worst defense since Saban’s first year at Bama (but man their offense was good, but yours was too). NB4 Bama fans try to post subjective stats, please note the LSU, Texas A&M, and Georgia games…clearly not the usual Saban lock down D. Great D doesn’t allow Zach to go lights out.

Kentucky – Calipari has help recruiting from William Wesley, the most powerful man in basketball who also has a ton of pull in AAU. Just remember that before bragging too much of his recruiting. We all know he cheats, stop acting like it can’t happen because you’re Kentucky. Bad news for the SEC. Wesley and Jay-z are basically partners now, we’re screwed cause every recruit wants to meet and hang with Jay-Z and let’s all but assume they are offered his services as an agent on signing day.

LSU – Always respected LSU. Went to the game in 07 and it was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. So I won’t state anything too negative towards ya’ll. I love playing you yearly its guaranteed to be a big time game. Just please stop crying about playing us, I’ve heard rumors we may have to play Bama next year because of your crying of their schedule. I don’t want to trade Arky for Bama.

Ole Miss- Freeze is awesome, we all cheat, so who cares. Don’t let people bring you down from that guy’s awesomeness. Now give me two blondes for my niceness.

Miss State – Who?

Kansas Tigers- See above

South Carolina – Spurrier makes me unable to hate you. Wish you luck, but hope you fall short and we win the east.

Tennessee – It’s hard to make fun of the handicapped. Please save me the time and accept that Florida beats you yet again without having to hear how you are back for a month before we beat you like a two cent Georgia girl (also known as hooker).

Texas A&M – Love your fans for their support of the military. But guys; a Heisman and fake titles on a wall doesn’t impress the SEC. Please do more before you act as though you are equal to the elites. Also, if you haven’t seen a Nick Saban revenge game, well, welcome to the SEC guys. It’s brutal to watch as the opposing fan.

Vandy – Stop being so smart and maybe you will matter in sports. Easy solution really, like Tennessee: terrible academics and…wait. Bad example.


I typed it quickly so I’m sure there are plenty of grammatical errors so save your time please nazi boyz. Go Gators, Go , screw Georgia.