Undeniably Brilliant Observations about various SEC FB teams

First of all, when I say SEC , I mean SEC West. There is only SEC West and SEC Bitch. *oh shite, jinxed, we still have to play Kentucky.

Arkansas is learning to win. They are big and physical and boring. Soon, these losses become wins. They are almost there. And then we will learn again how insufferable they are.

Ole Miss has THE most physical defense in college football. Defense wins championships. QB still a goof though. Will wilt at some critical time because they have rare case of chronic Underachiever's Entitlement Disease. Frat Social Chairman Shepherd Smith arguably more influential than Coach, so very likely to go soft under pressure in November and throw a really swell, color-coordinated party in The Grove and call it a season.

Alabama made a critical mistake in hiring Kiffin. The football Gods will not tolerate a collection of douche baggery so dense in one physical location, so three losses will be the penalty. Sorry Gumps, I don't make the rules. And no t-shirts.

LSU JV. Ruh Roh our varsity left early to play on Sunday. When you are short on experience you compensate with superior scheme. Unless you are LSU, in which case you run into the two-gap straight into eight men in the box. LSU will beat somebody they should not in November and that team will cry all offseason about "Lucky Les." Get your shots in now, these young kids are looking salty in 2015.

Auburn. Gimmicks are fun. Fortunately for Auburn, they are a very physical gimmick that will have their way with everybody that can't match up. The Universe is returning to the mean though, and the ball will bounce wrong, where it once bounced right. And Aubie will be sad. But still laughing at most. You gotta have your shite tight to beat Auburn.

Cheer Boy. Gimmicks are fun. Unfortunately for Cheer Boy, they aren't a very physical gimmick. Still a year a way from being able to take the weekly body blows that the SEC provides. Not an SEC big boy despite a good Saturday here or there. Will continue to sustain themselves on cultish hand signals, by raiding the Village People's white costumes collection and empty trash talk until they reach puberty.Reigning Off season champs.

The Grind. Your 2014 SEC Champs. Hungriest team in the league. The 2014 Alpha Predator. More physical on the line of scrimmage with that "it factor" at qb. Redneck Mojo and cowbell, a deadly combination, they are better than you think they are, and bringing the pain. Also have the goodwill of the league, for years of being good losers, unlike Frattier Oxford cousins.

All of you may now kiss my glorious arse.