Twas the Night Before Bama-Original Poem

Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:04 am

Posted by fr33manator

Baton Rouge

Member since Oct 2010

123879 posts

Posted on 11/4/22 at 9:04 am

‘‘Twas the night before Bama,

‘Twas the night before Bama,
And all through Baton Rouge,
The Tigers fans readied,
For the coming deluge,

With dozens of piss balloons,
Filled up with care,
For they knew that ol Nicky,
He soon would be there,

The Tide fans they slept,
With their sisters in bed,
While the visions of playoffs,
Still danced in their heads,

Some people played cornhole,
Some people got drunk,
But I stayed up late making,
Stuffed Elephant Trunk,

When outside I heard,
Such a terrible clatter,
I set down my beer,
To see what was the matter,

Could it be a thief?
A burglar or arson?
A scared Jimbo Fisher?
A drunk Bryan Harsin?

In the light of the moon,
With my one eye I spied,
A big crimson bus,
And the sounds of “Roll Tide”

And then what to my,
Wondering eye would appear,
But a miniature man,
With his eyes full of fear,

Well his hair it had thinned,
And he scowled like a prick,
But I knew in a moment,
It must be Ol’ Nick,

Then down out of the bus,
Well his players they came,
Then he screamed at them,
Yelled at them calling them names,

“You know where we’re going,”
He called out to Ricks,
“And keep calm Mr. Burton,
Don’t slap any chicks.”

“Young, Gibbs and McKinstry,
Steen, Moody and Battle!”
He hooted and hollered,
And drove them like cattle,

“Now don’t jump off sides,
And don’t fumble the ball,
But just hold ‘em and hold ‘em,
Until it gets called.”

“Refs will turn a blind eye,
Make the calls we need made,
Just as long as the REC,
Makes sure they’re getting paid.”

Then the players got back,
On the bus and were gone,
Ol Nick stood all alone,
Like a gnome on the lawn,

Then I noticed a difference,
In that crafty old elf,
As he stood next to Nattys,
The size of himself,

His eyes, once so fierce,
They shone now less bright,
Now that Tennessee stole,
Ol Dixieland Delight,

He had so many trophies,
That’s true, but what’s worse,
Is he gave Georgia Hope,
And they’d broken the curse,

Now once more he’d stand,
In the lights of Death Valley,
Where he’d once been the Hero,
Leading Tigers to rally,

Where he’d earned his first Natty,
Cut his champion teeth,
Then left them for another,
In the night, like a thief,

And now he’s the villain,
So cursed and so hated,
But now on the field,
A new challenger waited,

Hungry and vicious,
With nothing to lose,
And a horde of drunk fans,
Hurling verbal abuse,

Yes I think that I saw,
A small tear in his eye,
Perhaps once more Death Valley,
Is where dreams go to die,

He got back on the bus,
With no spring in his gait,
Looking terribly old,
And in fear of their fate,

For the field will be dirty,
And the hits won’t be kind,
Someone’s playoff hopes over,
If the stars are aligned,

Let the home streak be broken,
In this new Kelly Era,
Yes they call it Death Valley,
Let it fill them with Terror.

Twas the Night before Bama-a reading pardon my voice, I’m fighting bronchitis

This post was edited on 11/4/22 at 12:09 pm