I put most of this on a post in another thread, but I thought it might reach y'all easier this way. First, no doubt the SEC is one helluva conference -- the best. And not just in football, but in human terms as well. You have an open giving heart.

With that, Greeting from the an alumnus of the University of Texas. I must proclaim to the SEC and its fans, and I am sure I speak on behalf of the entire State of Texas, how should I say this without losing my composure.....

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU TO INFINITY. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THOSE TOTAL JACKWADS OFF OUR HANDS.

BUT REMEMBER, ABSOLUTELY NO TAKEBACKS!!!!!

Ahhh, that felt WONDERFUL. Cathartic really.

Of you poor souls, you have NO idea what you've signed up for.

And to the gomer pyle (that's one of our nicknames for them, with their whole military thing going on; well, used to go on, I'll explain in a minute) who seemed to offer up "A&M women" to the marauding SEC hoardes to gain acceptance, you damn sure know that 75% of those women have never stepped a foot in Collie Station. A&M women? Welll let's just say this. A&M, in its lifelong penis-envy of the University of Texas, is going to get its own network, that they believe will rival The Longhorn Network. They're going to call it Ewe Tube.

So, let me tell y'all about some of our inbred cousins' from Collie Station "traditions" (or what no-gomers call really weird cultish shite). First, why do I call the town a.k.a. as College Station, "Collie Station"? Well, seems despite calling themselves Aggies, their mascot is a bitch collie. Seriously. Reveille is ALWAYS a female collie. Hence, we also sometimes refer to them as the Fightin' Bitches, or Fightin' Collies, etc.

And as you know, A&M was once an all-male military school. They allowed girls in in the early 70's. Before that all the "cadets" actually ended up going in the military (pretty cool, actually). After that a student didn't have to go in the military. In fact, even in today's, "Corps of Cadets" 85% of them will NEVER see a MINUTE of active or reserve military service (I was in the USMC -- and as such, the whole "Corps" thing is kind of b.s.). So, when you see the A&M brownshirts at a game, strutting around in their homoerotic military gear, KNOW that 85% of them are doing that just to be cool, and have no intention of EVER serving -- it's just a big club.

And circling around back to the Bitch (which I am told Corps Members often do), she is the HIGHEST RANKING OFFICER in the Corps of Cadets. Yes, the female dog outranks all those stupid a**es. In fact, they have a group of them whose whole mission is to "protect the dog". From what, I do not know --perhaps for those times when there are no available sheep. And finally regarding the dog, they have a burial ground where are all the DEAD dogs, can "see the scoreboard" at Kyle Field. In fact, when they added their South Endzone which they call the Zone, construction had to be halted so they could figure out a way so it would not obstruct the dead dogs view.

Let's see, what else. A good portion of their Fight Song is dedicated to the Univeristy of Texas. Seriously. You know that whole part where they all get arm-in-arm and sway back and forth? The first time they sing it, they are saying "Saw Varsity's (what they used to call us) Horns Off, Saw Varsity's Horns Off, blah, blah, blah". Then the next time, it is "Varisty's Horns are Sawed Off, Varisty's Horns Are Sawed Off..." They do this at EVERY game, and every time. So when you guys saw that, that's what they were saying.

I'm sure y'all will learn more, but suffice it to say, y'all will learn why we are so GD glad to not have to put up with them anymore. Here's a few links you might find interesting:

Aggie Squeeze

Aggie Disco

Here's a good one. Btw, the first song is the actual words to their Fight Song sans the Horns Off thing:

Poor Aggies

One on the Yell Leaders:

Aggie yell Leaders

And one of my favorites:

Aggie Rap

Again, no givebacks!!!