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re: SEC Starter Pack

Posted on 11/29/23 at 2:51 pm to
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
68462 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 2:51 pm to
I’m just glad A&M’s real dad is back in the picture. LSU fans have been sick of playing step-dad to those weirdos.
Posted by teamjackson
call me Walnut
Member since Nov 2012
7064 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 2:54 pm to
Dallas Turner

Say that name and you'll get instant gratification, good and bad.
Posted by AwgustaDawg
CSRA
Member since Jan 2023
11533 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 2:55 pm to
quote:

You probably already know this. If not, you'll soon learn that Bama fans are mostly band wagon fans.

They were the ones that were regularly picked on. They always got picked last in everything. They were the kids that never got the girl in school. They always road the bench in sports. Their wives or girlfriends, if they have one, are cheating on them but they don't know who with. They work at s****y jobs where they're constantly kissing the bosses a$$, etc...

Simply put, they latched onto a school just to make them feel better about their station in life.


A gracious plenty of them may have never set foot in the state and couldn't find it on a map. As the gaps between national championships widens fewer and fewer of these kinds of Bama fans, who again make up the majority of the fanbase, exist.

Lots of shite happens in Alabama when Alabama loses and none of it is positive. First off sisters in law die by the hundreds. Most of them probably had it coming but the specter of an Alabama loss will be the last straw for the murderer.

Trees ain't safe after an Alabama loss. Imagine that. A tree. How can you hate a tree????

Dogs will get kicked, crippled people will have their wheelchairs stolen, wives and children, already accustomed to severe physical abuse, will find themselves beaten and whipped no end...nothing positive happens in Alabama for an extended period of time after an Alabama loss.
Posted by BevoBucks
H-town
Member since Dec 2022
5791 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 2:57 pm to
This is about right. A few tweaks I’d throw in.

quote:


Alabama = Oklahoma
Auburn = Ags & Baylor combo.
TAMU = Big 12 TAMU but worse
Georgia = Texas
Tennessee/Florida = Nebraska
Miss St = Kansas St but worse
Missouri = Big 12 Missouri but better
Arkansas = Southwest Conference Arkansas but worse
Kentucky = Kansas but better
Ole Miss = A bigger SMU
Vanderbilt = Rice
LSU = for better or worse, no comp
South Carolina = WVU
Posted by AwgustaDawg
CSRA
Member since Jan 2023
11533 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 2:59 pm to
College football started around 1990. There are rumors of it having existed prior to that but eeryone in Florida knows that those are just vicious rumors started because of WW2. All those wins, especially titles, Oklahoma had before 1990? Never happened. Fake news. Ask any Florida fan...they will tell you in no uncertain terms that college football started around 1990 and, interestingly enough, started in Gainesville Florida.
Posted by bigDgator
Dallas, TX
Member since Oct 2008
46785 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:03 pm to
quote:

Guessing that stealing elections is perfectly fine for you lot?


You are going to fit in well here.
Posted by LSU Tigerhead
Metairie
Member since Nov 2007
5098 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:08 pm to
quote:

Oh and the play that saved both mississippi football programs
I'll never forget that game.
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
121638 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:13 pm to
quote:

Oh and the play that saved both mississippi football programs
LINK
Posted by Dawgfanman
Member since Jun 2015
24856 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:15 pm to
BBQ in the Southeast = pulled pork

Vandy is a great road-trip game. So is Kentucky if Keeneland is open.

SC is the hottest god damned place on earth in late August Early September, don’t care what anyone else says.

Posted by Gunga Din
Oklahoma
Member since Jul 2020
2494 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:16 pm to
quote:

coming from a team that is way way way beneath both schools…. Missouri has beat two fringe top 25 teams and now we get to listen to their fans talk about how much they have done ….. I am still waiting ….



Dude, turn on your sarcasm meter. That was a great post.

The only thing he missed was that "OU will be the new Nebraska". Don't ask me how I know.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 3:17 pm
Posted by Jumpinjack
Member since Oct 2021
6485 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:16 pm to
quote:

Georgia = Texas


Ouch, lol
Posted by Wolfhound45
Member since Nov 2009
121638 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:39 pm to
quote:

Gunga Din
You associated me with MOJO_ERASER? Really?
Posted by LSUTigersLJM
New Orleans
Member since May 2021
1118 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:40 pm to
You need to occasionally refer to people as "baw".
Posted by LSUTigersLJM
New Orleans
Member since May 2021
1118 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:42 pm to
quote:

-Don't celebrate a win in Louisiana bars because they'll either shoot you or beat you to death.

-If you're a purple heart veteran in Crimson and white, avoid Baton Rouge at all costs. Otherwise you'll get threatened and accosted by drunk LSU rednecks (who most likely claim to be "god fearing patriots" on social media).

-Don't hire LSU's ex coaches otherwise they'll gather in a field and burn him in effigy like some weird klan-like cult.

-Don't take minors to Tiger Stadium because the pedos there will tell them to "suck a Tiger dick".

-Prepare for your players and coaches to receive death threats from Louisiana people before a game.

-Never leave your booty unguarded in Tiger Stadium otherwise an LSU fan's finger may enter your shite tunnel (and they call Aggies "gay").

-Be careful when taking a piss in Tiger Stadium bathrooms because the janitors there will rob you.

-Prepare for 60 year old men in purple and gold to threaten officials (and their families) when one of their players is called for targeting a week before playing Alabama.

-Don't sit in the student section at Tiger Stadium otherwise you may get vomited on.

-If you're a beer vendor, avoid Baton Rouge like a plague. Otherwise, the fans there will likely steal thousands of dollars worth of beer from you.

-Louisiana is the second-poorest state in the union and also boasts the highest homicide rate. So prepare for Somalia with more swamps.

-If you're a minority, avoid the LSU student section because they'll call you the "n word".

-Wear Kevlar when visiting Baton Rouge.

-Watch out for piss balloons.

And how could I forget... don't open any hospitals in Louisiana. Otherwise they'll steal money from you to buy players with.


This is one of the best posts I've ever seen on here. Well done!

This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 3:43 pm
Posted by Landmass
Premium Member
Member since Jun 2013
21358 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:44 pm to
Leave it to Mississippi State fans to rally around a MALE pornstar.
Posted by LSUTigersLJM
New Orleans
Member since May 2021
1118 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 3:57 pm to
I've heard Oklahoma has some weird law where they can only sell beer with lower alcohol %, Is that true?

If that's the case, I'm not sure the SEC is the right conference for you.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 3:58 pm
Posted by CharlotteSooner
Member since Mar 2016
12966 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 4:13 pm to
quote:

I've heard Oklahoma has some weird law where they can only sell beer with lower alcohol %, Is that true?


It was true until 2016 when voters threw that shite out with state question 792 which was the largest reform of the state's liquor laws on record. 3.2 beer is a thing of the past, and good riddance to it.
This post was edited on 11/29/23 at 4:14 pm
Posted by Topwater Trout
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
68737 posts
Posted on 11/29/23 at 4:19 pm to
quote:

-Prepare for 60 year old men in purple and gold to threaten officials (and their families) when one of their players is called for targeting a week before playing Alabama.


Where is the video of the bama fan, living in a trailer of course, that wanted to kill the honeybadger? that pretty much sums up bama fans and the tree killer.
Posted by AwgustaDawg
CSRA
Member since Jan 2023
11533 posts
Posted on 11/30/23 at 7:39 am to
quote:

BBQ in the Southeast = pulled pork

Vandy is a great road-trip game. So is Kentucky if Keeneland is open.

SC is the hottest god damned place on earth in late August Early September, don’t care what anyone else says



SOLID Post.

BBQ involves a pig and some hickory. Anything else is just smoked meat. Good, but not BBQ.

Columbia South Carolina in September is indeed the doorway to hell. Red Stick is bad but Columbia has it beat. It gets hot as blazes in Texas and Oklahoma, far hotter than it does in South Carolina, but the heat in Texas and Oklahoma does not penetrate to a man's core and rob him of his very life force like it does in South Carolina. If there is a breeze from July to October in South Carolina it'll be a hurricane for about 24 hours and then the wind will not move again.
Posted by AwgustaDawg
CSRA
Member since Jan 2023
11533 posts
Posted on 11/30/23 at 7:42 am to
quote:

You need to occasionally refer to people as "baw".


In East Georgia and South Carolina people will refer to you as "Bo" as in "Damn Bo, look at the arse on that Oklahoma chick". We do not think your name is Bo, it is a term of endearment. If you are south of Broad in Charleston it will be "Beau" but in the midlands and upstate and that part of Georgia similarly afflicted it is "Bo". If your name is Bo all the more better but eerybody is Bo at some point...
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