Started By
Message
How long could you survive in a fight with 5 year olds?
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:12 pm
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:12 pm
Let's say you're stuck in your favorite team's football stadium. In one end zone is a portal that every 10 seconds five 5 year olds run out of. The portal does this until you are eventually over run.
How long could you survive? Keep in mind you can run around and use anything in the stadium to your advantage as well as just dig in your heels and fight.
How long could you survive? Keep in mind you can run around and use anything in the stadium to your advantage as well as just dig in your heels and fight.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:19 pm to DirtyDawg
Does this have something to do with the fantasies of that Vol player that got busted?
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:20 pm to DirtyDawg
I would think that you would need to take em out as soon as they run out of the tunnel. If ya run around too long, you would have way too many to deal with
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:22 pm to DirtyDawg
So, Call Of Duty Zombies. But instead of zombies, 5 year olds?
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:22 pm to DirtyDawg
Every 10 seconds? That's 30 per minute. 1800 per hour.
That being said, I could last forever. I'd break the first ones in half and start building a wall of child corpses, the kids will figure out not to frick with me.
That being said, I could last forever. I'd break the first ones in half and start building a wall of child corpses, the kids will figure out not to frick with me.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:24 pm to Cheese Grits
quote:
Does this have something to do with the fantasies of that Vol player that got busted?
Mack would get his arse beat by the first group
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:24 pm to Vols&Shaft83
The first bunch I would grab one by the legs and use him like a baseball bat. I'd change up my routine when my arms got tired.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:53 pm to DirtyDawg
In what world do you live in where five year olds are all going to want to take someone down? Dafuq is wrong with you?
Posted on 2/21/16 at 10:54 pm to DirtyDawg
Go into the stadium, back to a wall so they can't surround me. Maybe even back the wall in the upper deck so I can toss those little shits over. Most 5 year olds would be done after one half decent hit from a grown man. I think adrenaline would kick in and I could take out 100+ easy before I got overwhelmed.
Assuming I could keep them at bay enough that they couldn't overwhelm me, I could go a couple hours with adrenaline before I was too exhausted.
Assuming I could keep them at bay enough that they couldn't overwhelm me, I could go a couple hours with adrenaline before I was too exhausted.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 11:15 pm to DirtyDawg
quote:
How long could you survive?
Indefinite?
An average 5 year old is about 3 feet 6 inches.
Inside the stadium I would need to locate a hammer, some rope, and something to fashion into crude pitons.
Go to top of stadium and overhang farther than a 5 year old can reach and create rudimentary sling to sit in while stadium filled up with kids. Eventually the kids will overflow the stadium and fall to their death on the ground below. Eventually the corpses will pile up to where your hanging space is located and you walk down the mountain of dead kids and flee to safety. Preferably another continent where they would die trying to cross the ocean and create lots of food supplies to feed the sharks to solve the population problem.
While 5 year olds may be in constant resupply, they do not live long enough to reach puberty and reproduce, eventually settling into some constant that fixes their spread as it reaches a finite point and diminishes.
A simpler method would to have cooties and not any vaccine for a single kid, so they all get cooties and die.
Drew Cary cooties PSA
Posted on 2/22/16 at 3:14 am to Cheese Grits
Y'all sick son of bitches
Posted on 2/22/16 at 3:22 am to DirtyDawg
quote:
How long could you survive in a fight with 5 year olds?
Indefinitely...
Throw down some sidewalk chalk and mega blocks.
Y'all must not have kids.
Posted on 2/22/16 at 4:05 am to DirtyDawg
This same thread is on the OTL but it's 8 year olds
Posted on 2/22/16 at 8:16 am to BowlJackson
quote:
Go into the stadium, back to a wall so they can't surround me. Maybe even back the wall in the upper deck
this is the worst plan ever. Backing up or hiding is going to defeat the whole strategy you should be using. A grown man at SOME POINT can and will be overtaken by 5 year olds. It'll take a ton of them grabbing each of your legs and arms and eventually getting you to the ground, but it will eventually happen. Group attack is the only strategy they have.
The key is going to be to only get in 1 on 1 battles and not let them gang up. Therefore, I'd just post up on about the 5 or so right in front of the portal. As each one comes out, bash their head now that kid's out of the picture. It'll be tiresome, but at least you only have to worry about 1 or 2 blows at a time, inflicted upon one kid. Once they get numbers you're gonna be in trouble.
Posted on 2/22/16 at 8:17 am to DirtyDawg
How the frick did you think this up?
Posted on 2/22/16 at 8:18 am to DirtyDawg
What in the actual frick???
Posted on 2/22/16 at 8:22 am to DirtyDawg
The frick did I just read?
Posted on 2/22/16 at 8:22 am to Carolina_Girl
That's what I said. This board continues to amaze me. I've seen it all now.
Back to top
Follow SECRant for SEC Football News