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Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:43 am to Mulkey Man
[
Words I thought I’d never type ....
UTex’s special teams coordinator’s (Jeff Banks) girlfriend’s “emotional support monkey” bit (apparently pretty seriously) a trick or treater on Halloween.
She’s a stripper (the gf, not the trick or treater)
Her stage name is Pole Assassin.
With the horns playing Iowa State this weekend and having lost the previous two contests vs the Cyclones, UTex has multiple monkeys on its back at present.
quote:
Someone catch me up on this.
Words I thought I’d never type ....
UTex’s special teams coordinator’s (Jeff Banks) girlfriend’s “emotional support monkey” bit (apparently pretty seriously) a trick or treater on Halloween.
She’s a stripper (the gf, not the trick or treater)
Her stage name is Pole Assassin.
With the horns playing Iowa State this weekend and having lost the previous two contests vs the Cyclones, UTex has multiple monkeys on its back at present.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:43 am to RockyMtnTigerWDE
Gross puke face emoji
This post was edited on 11/2/21 at 10:44 am
Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:44 am to EKG
That might be the infographic of the year.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:48 am to skrayper
This is what happens when a guy has never kissed a girl until his 30s and ends up luckily landing a ridiculously high paying job. Throw in a midlife crisis...boom... you've got strippers and attack monkeys.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:50 am to remaster916
quote:
Need pics of the monkey too.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:55 am to LSUstephen17
Strippers
Monkey bites
Texas football
Checks out.
Monkey bites
Texas football
Checks out.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 10:59 am to LSUstephen17
The Instagram lay out begs the question, wtf was He thinking?
Posted on 11/2/21 at 11:04 am to Bobby Jimbo
Posted on 11/2/21 at 11:05 am to Herman Frisco
There's no higher brain function involved in any of this.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 11:10 am to Drydock
Man, this is a bad look for Texas. It might even eclipse the statue fiasco....
Posted on 11/2/21 at 11:24 am to LSUstephen17
PoleAssassin is my favorite part of this whole story.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 11:29 am to LSUstephen17
So if there are aggies looking for a name for their alter, this one is open...
Posted on 11/2/21 at 11:32 am to RockyMtnTigerWDE
Woof. Imagine leaving your wife and kids for that. She must lay it down 
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:08 pm to Chad4Bama
quote:
This is what happens when a guy has never kissed a girl until his 30s and ends up luckily landing a ridiculously high paying job. Throw in a midlife crisis...boom... you've got strippers and attack monkeys.
This has Walker County, Al and Wesley's Boobie Trap written all over it.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:26 pm to LSUstephen17
It makes sense now when Pole Assassin tweets at potential Football recruits, "If you don't come to Texas Longhorns, my pet monkey will bite yo arse".
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:29 pm to CoachFranWasHere
Someone need to add the monkey onto this statues back
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:31 pm to Aggie Dynasty
quote:
makes sense now when Pole Assassin tweets at potential Football recruits, "If you don't come to Texas Longhorns, my pet monkey will bite yo arse".
Leave the jokes to the rest of us aggie
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:49 pm to Pdubntrub
At first glance, your user name looks like Pornhub.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 1:10 pm to LSUstephen17
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