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Posted on 2/8/14 at 2:57 pm to Socratics
Ask them if they are there for the all male orgy. Then ask if they brought the hamsters.
Posted on 2/8/14 at 3:01 pm to Socratics
I would just do this 
Posted on 2/8/14 at 3:02 pm to InfantryDawg
I went down the route in trying to talk to them about the religion but I think, down here, they are forbidden to say anything. Only to invite you and hand you pamphlets.
Usually if you ask them to leave you alone, they won't show up to your house. They've been respectful (if naive) to me.
Usually if you ask them to leave you alone, they won't show up to your house. They've been respectful (if naive) to me.
Posted on 2/8/14 at 5:50 pm to CatFan81
quote:
Open the door in the nude.
I've done that with Mormons. They asked me to put on some clothes but I told them I preferred to be nude IN MY HOUSE. I then invited them to take off their clothes and get comfortable.
They declined and left.
Posted on 2/8/14 at 6:27 pm to Chili Dawg
quote:
They believe that only 144,000 souls will make it to heaven and claim to have 6,000,000 followers. Ask em if that's why they're working on Saturday.
This. Tell them you might take their spot in heaven.
Posted on 2/8/14 at 7:26 pm to Legendary0903
They are extremely pushy and I have had them stick their foot in the door as I tried to shut it. I resorted to screaming "Get off my property" and slamming the door hard enough that if they stick their foot in it, their foot will get cut off. Haven't had one in a year or two, so I guess they are avoiding me now
This post was edited on 2/8/14 at 7:26 pm
Posted on 2/8/14 at 7:50 pm to Socratics
(no message)
This post was edited on 3/4/14 at 5:08 pm
Posted on 2/9/14 at 1:44 am to Chili Dawg
quote:
They believe that only 144,000 souls will make it to heaven and claim to have 6,000,000 followers. Ask em if that's why they're working on Saturday.
Uh, that's the Mormons. Although I know a few that aren't making the cut.
Posted on 2/9/14 at 6:06 am to CNB
A stoner chick I use to hang around with had them coming by her place weekly and they were very persistant. She had tried being polite with them but they kept coming back. I convinced her to answer the door topless and they would leave her alone. This girl had crazy huge cans with thumb size nipples. When she answered the door the young guy just stared until the girl he was with grabbed him by the shirt and drug him off. They never came back ;-) Most can't take a hint unless you do something rude/crazy. If you are nice they assume they need to preach at you more to get you.
Posted on 2/9/14 at 6:08 am to Socratics
The Jehovah's witnesses showed up once on Christmas morning at our house one year. Pissed my wife off royally. I always tried to be nice to them though because they always seemed to have a little kid with them. As these folks were almost always black, no telling what they would tell the kid about the horrible white dude if I told em to F off and get off my stoop. Most of the time they would leave. Of course I would also tell them we were catholic and did they want a beer?
Posted on 2/9/14 at 5:30 pm to CroakaBait
quote:
My Catholic grandma used to invite them in and let them explain to her their belief system.
Telling them you're Catholic and attend Mass regularly always seems to work with JW, LDS, and some other Protestant religions that send around missionaries.
I had some knock on the door one time as I had just finished cleaning a pistol. I was taking a dip and putting things away, but I left the 1911 on the coffee table. I let them in and let them talk and pray and hold hands with me for about 30 minutes, while I was spitting Skoal in a Budweiser can the whole time. They kept asking me if I was going to Heaven. I kept saying that it wasn't my call to make. Then I told them I was Catholic. The door never hit them in the arse on the way out.
About a year later the same group came to another apartment I was living in. They recognized me, and one of them said, "you're Catholic, right?" They were about to leave, but I told them my Methodist roommate would love to talk to them. I let them in and noticed a condom packet on the living room floor, but left it there as I was leaving. He sat there with them for 30 minutes talking, praying, and holding hands, with the condom packet separating him from them.
We never saw them again.
Posted on 2/9/14 at 11:23 pm to Socratics
Reminds me of the inverted nipple joke.
Posted on 2/10/14 at 12:12 am to Socratics
tell them you are an insurance salesman, and would love to talk about religion AFTER insurance, you can substitute Amway or Advocare
Posted on 2/10/14 at 8:23 am to Chili Dawg
quote:
They believe that only 144,000 souls will make it to heaven and claim to have 6,000,000 followers. Ask em if that's why they're working on Saturday.
Actually they believe 144,000 will go to heaven and the rest will inherent a paradise earth.
Posted on 2/10/14 at 8:41 am to Socratics
Eh I'm usually polite to them or any other of the missionaries for that matter, but that's because I used to let them in my apt or town home and try and convert them to another religion while taking bong hits. I have never been blatantly rude to the religious peoples or even telemarketers for that matter... 
Posted on 2/10/14 at 8:54 am to Socratics
say you speak no english
Posted on 2/10/14 at 12:53 pm to Socratics
quote:
How do I tell Jehovah's Witnesses in a respectful fashion to leave me the frick alone?
As of late, the local Jehovah's Witnessess have becoming increasing obnoxious. They had been knocking on my door every two weeks, but now they are starting to approach me randomly in streets and parking lots.
I can't think of a way to deal with these people without being a jerk about it.
Look them in the face.... and tell them to F off. They get it more than you think.
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