Portal is love. Portal is life.

I was only young college football coach.
I loved The Portal so much, I had all the depth and skill players I needed this year.
I pray to The Portal every night, thanking him for the roster I’ve been given. “Portal is love” I say, “Portal is life."
My Athletic Director hears me and calls me a Sicko. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to The Portal.
I called him a band nerd.
He accuses me sleeping with interns and opens an internal investigation.
I'm crying now and SECrant is downvoting me.
I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm...
It's The Portal! I was so happy.
He whispers in my ear "This is my Transfer Period."
He grabs me with his hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready.
I open my roster for The Portal.
He takes my starting QB and all my 3 stars I’ve developed.
It hurts so much, but I do it for The Portal. I can see the message boards calling for my head but I have millions guaranteed.
I want to please The Portal.
He roars a mighty roar as he offers my best players NIL deals.
My Athletic Director walks in.
The Portal looks him straight in the eye and says,
“They’ve all Portal’d now”
Then leaves through my window.
Portal is love. Portal is life.