re: Aggy Board OT Discussion Thread

quote:

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They are so blinded by anger. Aggie hires a guy getting a couple extra bucks to put towards his retirement home in florida hoping he can be at a place where he can slack off and not be noticed, while we pull an energetic NFL Hall of Fame coach eager and ready to accept a new challenge (at 77)

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I added the last part.

Dudes, I had to go to the doctor today, and it was rather humbling. Here is a quick breakdown of how the past 48 hours in Summit's life have gone:

Thursday night I played a basketball game in our church league. We got our arse kicked, and I got knocked on my arse multiple times as well. Just a total asskicking in every way that night.

Friday morning rolls around, and I start to notice some slight annoying pain near my tailbone. I figured I am starting to get old, and since I had been knocked on my arse numerous times the night before, I figured it was just a little bruise on the tailbone. No big deal. I told myself to stop being a pussy and get over it.

It all came to a head this morning. When I woke up, it was hell to get out of bed, and basic tasks like putting pants and shoes on was a fricking nightmare.

I got dressed, and went to Denny's for our weekly Denny's breakfast with some friends (don't judge me, that shite is delicious). But when I saw it was taking me longer to get out of my seat than the 80+ year old woman with a cane sitting next to me, I knew I had a problem on my hands (or arse, I should say).

I decide to humble myself and go to an urgent care facility near my house. I get checked in and have to put that stylish gown that covers your front while leaving your arse completely exposed, and since I'm not a tsip queer, that was something uncomfortable to me, but whatever.

So I'm laying on the bed waiting for the doctor to come in, when all of a sudden 3 women walk in and say they will be taking care of me. 2 of them were quite attractive, and the third was like the sweet older lady down the street who loves to bake cookies for everyone. I immediately think to myself "oh FML" and prepare for the worst.

When they examine my arse, they immediately realize that I did not have a bruise at all. I had a pilonidal cyst at the top of my asscrack. The oldest nurse exclaims "oh man we'll hafta cut that sucker immediately". So the older nurse gathers her tools while the other 2 attractive nurses begin to numb my arse and keep my butt cheeks apart for the operation. I must have apologized to them at least 10 times for what they were having to do.

As they administered the numbing shots to begin the procedure, the cyst bursts, and apparently shite burst everywhere. (I was laying face down on the bed, so I couldn't see the carnage). But judging by their tone, it must have been in the same realm as the projectile vomiting from The Exorcist.

Once they remove the cyst, they squirt water and thoroughly cleanse every region of my arse and they stuffed mounds of gauze into the 2nd a-hole that they had just created. The entire process took maybe 10 minutes, but it seemed like 10 years.

Anyways, figured I would share my struggles with tArk. Don't ever get a cyst in your arse - it's overrated.

TL;DR - I had a cyst in my a-hole and had to have 3 female nurses operate on my arse, and I now have 2 anuses. 2015 is off to one hell of a start

I mean, I apologize for your misfortune.

I'm sorry but since it wasn't all too serious.....

Damn, HS, I'm sorry about your discomfort but that had me rolling towards the end!

Thanks for sharing--that was hilarious

Oh God that image!

holy hell. I once had an external hemorrhoid I had to deal with for about a week that hurt like hell but nothing like that.

T&P.

It is axe day.

It was getting rough. That Mrs. Mullen prostitute one this morning was over the top.