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Auburn cut and paste
Posted on 11/21/15 at 12:52 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 12:52 am
Auburn fans, I know that y'all are way too busy with your high-paying, awesomely responsible jobs that you were given straight out of college because you have degrees from AUBURN to give much thought to any post-Iron Bowl postings, especially since your team is a joke this year. I have therefore helpfully done my best to provide some posts that you can use verbatim, if you wish. I think they fit your usual talking points quite well. Feel free to use them as you see fit:
If Auburn loses:
"Oh, did Auburn lose the game? I turned it off at half time to pursue other, more scholarly hobbies. I really don't care much for college football, I just tune in to the Auburn games because I love Auburn so damn much. No, I don't care that they lost, caring about who won a sports contest is for the weak-minded. I'm sure whatever the outcome, they gave their all for Auburn and for the Auburn family."
If Auburn wins:
"HOOOOOOOLY shite WE WON!!! OHHHHHH shite!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA frick you Bama! God I love college football! Kick Six!! Honk if you sacked Brodie! Oh my god I am going to talk about this game for the rest of my pathetic life. Camback, motherfrickers!! Good gawdamighty I am so fricking excited I wish I had another man's penis in my mouth. WAAAAAAAAR EEEEGUUULLLL!!!"
You're welcome, and frick you very much.
If Auburn loses:
"Oh, did Auburn lose the game? I turned it off at half time to pursue other, more scholarly hobbies. I really don't care much for college football, I just tune in to the Auburn games because I love Auburn so damn much. No, I don't care that they lost, caring about who won a sports contest is for the weak-minded. I'm sure whatever the outcome, they gave their all for Auburn and for the Auburn family."
If Auburn wins:
"HOOOOOOOLY shite WE WON!!! OHHHHHH shite!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA frick you Bama! God I love college football! Kick Six!! Honk if you sacked Brodie! Oh my god I am going to talk about this game for the rest of my pathetic life. Camback, motherfrickers!! Good gawdamighty I am so fricking excited I wish I had another man's penis in my mouth. WAAAAAAAAR EEEEGUUULLLL!!!"
You're welcome, and frick you very much.
17
Posted on 11/21/15 at 12:55 am to TheTideMustRoll
This is so perfect. It's only funny because it's so true. You nailed it. 
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 1:18 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:03 am to TheTideMustRoll
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:07 am to TheTideMustRoll
This thread gets made every other year. I love it
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:08 am to TheTideMustRoll
It's nice to know that we bother you this much
Let that anger stew. One day you'll have a kid or a grandkid that can get into Auburn and get that job you wanted
Let that anger stew. One day you'll have a kid or a grandkid that can get into Auburn and get that job you wanted
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 1:17 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:13 am to Weagle25
quote:
One day you'll have a kid or a grandkid that can get into Auburn and get that job you wanted
Horse Doctor?
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:15 am to Lordofwrath88
Couldn't spell Veterinarian? It's okay. This is one of those safe spaces that your students are protesting for. Free of judgement
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 1:17 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:16 am to Weagle25
He'll be a landscaper. That way he can murder even more of Auburn's trees and natural monuments.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:17 am to FourThreeForty
quote:
He'll be a landscaper. That way he can murder even more of Auburn's places of worship and pretentiousness.
FIFY
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:21 am to TheTideMustRoll
I've noticed a few LSU fans spouting similar sentiments... this means we're living on borrowed time.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:22 am to FourThreeForty
I know a landscaper seems like a high paying job compared to what Alabama grads get but i think he can do better than that
Don't get me wrong though. It's going to take work, hard work. But we believe in that at Auburn.
Don't get me wrong though. It's going to take work, hard work. But we believe in that at Auburn.
quote:
I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work. I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully. I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men. I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities. I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all. I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all. I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by "doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God." And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, I believe in Auburn and love it. -George Petrie (1945)
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 1:24 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:24 am to Weagle25
This post fits into the first category. It's one of those years I guess.
Bunch of pretentious bullshite "Auburn is the only place where its graduates and students love their university."
Bunch of pretentious bullshite "Auburn is the only place where its graduates and students love their university."
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 1:26 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:26 am to TheTideMustRoll
I'm glad you think about Auburn enough to post this.
Copy and paste that homeboy
Copy and paste that homeboy
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:28 am to TheTideMustRoll
quote:You must have us confused with LSU fans.
Oh, did Auburn lose the game? I turned it off at half time
The most painful game I ever remember watching (in terms of games that people would typically turn off) was Auburn vs Texas A&M in 2012. We lost 63-21 and it was never close, but I watched every minute. The second most painful game I ever watched was Denver vs Seattle in the Super Bowl. Again, it was never close, but I watched every minute.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:28 am to Tuscaloosa
I'm sorry that you don't have as big of a family as we do. It's just AUsome to know that you'll have 87,451 family members there with you to root for the Tigers for a few Saturdays a year.
This post was edited on 11/21/15 at 1:30 am
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:29 am to Weagle25
quote:
I'm sorry that you don't have as big of a family as we do. It's just AUsome to know that you'll have 87,451 family members to root for the Tigers for a few Saturdays a year.
The really sad part about all of this is that I can't tell if you're serious or not.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:30 am to Tuscaloosa
bullshite. Visit an Auburn Facebook group or read the "Meltdown Time" posts from day one then come back and tell me all Auburn fans think like the ITAT'ers do during a bad year.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:30 am to Tuscaloosa
I was wondering how believable it was. I can't stand that type of fan. Even if they are Auburn fans.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:32 am to Tuscaloosa
Auburn is family. Obviously most Alabama fans are family as well because they're inbred fricks, but Auburn is family in another way.
frick 'BAMA.
'MERICA. frick ISIS.
frick 'BAMA.
'MERICA. frick ISIS.
Posted on 11/21/15 at 1:33 am to TTsTowel
quote:
Auburn is family. Obviously most Alabama fans are family as well because they're inbred fricks, but Auburn is family in another way.
frick 'BAMA.
'MERICA. frick ISIS.
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