Art Briles should be the next HC at Ole Miss

And let me tell you why.

No big name coach is taking this job. Norvell is the only hot commodity that would give us a look but he'll get better offers. Mike Leach is a pipe dream and he'd get exposed badly in the SEC West. People need to get that through their heads. Ole Miss is a shite job.

The obvious answer here is hiring Art Briles along with some equally slimy AD. Briles is pretty much a Texas version of Freeze from an offensive standpoint, minus the Jesus gimmick and the insatiable need to be in the limelight - which is a good thing. We have pieces on offense that if coached up will turn into extremely productive players. Briles would bring Kendal as OC/HC in waiting. We'd have a guy who can come in and bring stability, develop this talent, and pass it off to a 40 year old offensive prodigy in 4-5 years.

Although this will never happen, primarily because

1. The Ole Miss fanbase is one of the dumber collective units in all of America

2. The University/administration would be "too good" to hire Briles as they try to uphold some holier than thou approach focused more on the aesthetics of the grove, of Oxford, of the square, etc. The best coach Ole Miss has had in 50+ years, a guy who masqueraded everything that transpired behind religion as he stood on his soapbox, Bible held high, was not just sticking his dick in escorts, he was drinking heavily, sleeping with college students and married women. Ruining families in the process. Now that doesn't bother me at all, but after such a public embarrassment on a national stage, you have to take a different approach.

3. Ole Miss is a laughingstock. This isn't a desirable job. This is more or less a Texas Tech type of gig but people can't bring themselves to admit it. There is no mythical aura around Ole Miss Football. 1960 something was a long fricking time ago. Ohhhhhh but Bill Clark would take it.. Yeah, probably. He'd also ruin his career in doing so. He's not all that good of a coach, either.

4. Ole Miss doesn't want to win. Let's have the Grove landscaped to perfection. Let's have all the Oxford folktales scripted for Carter Blackburn to annunciate in crystal clear quality while we're getting sodomized 31-10 by Toledo in the 3rd quarter of an 11 o'clock game in 2023. The whore, coked out sorority girls wearing pearls with their tits out (*lights cigarette*). Bow ties. Chicken tenders. THE GROVE. No one at Ole Miss really wants to win.

So here you have it. Some guy on a message board not only giving you one of the few plausible scenarios to get the program back on track, but also having a contingent plan for the next 10-15 years if this all were to work.

With the majority of the fanbase ok with the thought of Freeze coming back, how is he any less tainted than Briles considering that sexual assault ordeal has turned out to be a sham? What he did at Baylor is nothing short of miraculous. They won 35 games in the 12 years prior to him getting there in 2008 and he concluded his tenure by going 11-2, 11-2, 10-3. Art Briles is as absolutely as good as Ole Miss could do at the moment.