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Should I get my daughter a phone?
Posted on 3/24/18 at 9:37 pm
Posted on 3/24/18 at 9:37 pm
She’s 12. She doesn’t do anything extracurricular so she just rides the bus home after school and does her homework. We have a landline for any kind of emergencies that may arise while we’re not home for the entire hour she’s home alone. Just wondering who all here might have a preteen with a phone.
I’m against it as she doesn’t NEED it. It’s just an excuse to get on SnapChat at this point. Thoughts?
I’m against it as she doesn’t NEED it. It’s just an excuse to get on SnapChat at this point. Thoughts?
This post was edited on 3/27/18 at 5:22 am
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Posted on 3/24/18 at 9:57 pm to LewDawg
Keep them off the phone for as long as possible.
Posted on 3/24/18 at 10:22 pm to LewDawg
quote:
Should I get my daughter a phone???
Is it common at her school?
Whatever age it becomes common, not having a phone hinders her ability to develop socially and be included in a friend group.
Like it or not, phones are how these kids communicate, develop friendships and develop socially
The senior citizens of the board may not like it, but the good ol days of sending telgrams/letters is long gone and not coming back
quote:
I’m against it as she doesn’t NEED it
For the cost or what?
If you trust that you raised your daughter well, the cell phone isn't going to change that. How a child uses a cell phone is a reflection on how their parents raised then
Just lay out ground rules and reinforce that it is a privilege not a right. It can be a responsibility building exercise
quote:
It’s just an excuse to get on SnapChat at this point
As I mentioned above, once all her friends have Snapchat/Instagram, she will start feeling and actually being left out of things.
When I was in HS, got my phone taken away for a month and i felt forgotten. The friend group coordinated by text and by the time it got to me I had no input
I can only imagine how miserable it would be in today's world
This post was edited on 3/24/18 at 10:28 pm
Posted on 3/24/18 at 10:35 pm to LewDawg
If she is old enough and mature enough to be responsible with it.
Posted on 3/24/18 at 10:55 pm to GenesChin
You're making too much sense right now. I think my daughter is going to get a phone. If she fricks up, it gets taken away
This post was edited on 3/25/18 at 5:30 am
Posted on 3/24/18 at 11:38 pm to LewDawg
No
If she wants a phone get her a old phone.
A phone call is a phone call regards of the phone/model.
If she wants a phone get her a old phone.
A phone call is a phone call regards of the phone/model.
Posted on 3/25/18 at 12:23 am to LewDawg
Probably. It’s common for 12 year olds to have cell phones these days and it’s at least 50% of how they communicate with their friends. Not having a phone kinda makes you the equivalent of what used to be the weird homeschooled kid that you only ever saw at baseball practice.
And I didn’t NEED an Xbox when I was 12 but I sure developed a lot of friendships during Halo LAN parties
quote:
I’m against it as she doesn’t NEED it. It’s just an excuse to get on SnapChat at this point
And I didn’t NEED an Xbox when I was 12 but I sure developed a lot of friendships during Halo LAN parties
Posted on 3/25/18 at 1:01 am to LewDawg
quote:
You're making too much sense right now. I think my daughter is going to get a phone.
Probably a wise decision. It is just easier to build good habits and responsible behavior early. You also can take credit and be the "best dad eva" for awhile
I'd highly making it a goal to achieve though. Find some good habit for her to build and have her do that for a month to "earn it"
You'll establish that it is a privilege she earned not a right she's entitled to, you'll motivate her to build a lifetime positive habit, and you'll still look like a generous God... I mean dad
This post was edited on 3/25/18 at 1:02 am
Posted on 3/25/18 at 2:57 am to LewDawg
I would get her a flip phone. I was 12 or 13 when I got my first phone and that was in 03 or 04. These days with smart phones and all the different apps it can be dangerous for young kids. With a smart phone at that age you need to give them strict guidelines and even still keep an eye out and monitor it. At that age the only reason they would need a feel phone is to call their parents when they're away, and you don't need anything more than a flip phone anyway.
This post was edited on 3/28/18 at 11:01 pm
Posted on 3/25/18 at 8:28 am to LewDawg
If you decide to get her one, maybe put some restrictions on it—no phone use after a certain time at night, things like that.
I don't know that I'd be afraid of how my daughter used a phone, but I'd be afraid of how some of friends used it. Texting reduces the inhibition people have when they talk to each other, and Snapchat lulls kids into a sense of safety for things like sexting.
I don't know that I'd be afraid of how my daughter used a phone, but I'd be afraid of how some of friends used it. Texting reduces the inhibition people have when they talk to each other, and Snapchat lulls kids into a sense of safety for things like sexting.
Posted on 3/25/18 at 9:51 am to GenesChin
quote:
The friend group coordinated by text and by the time it got to me I had no input
At 12, with no extracurriculars, she and her friends aren't really coordinating anything.
It's just a Snapchat tool for them. What she really needs is a snapchat device that doesn't come with an $800 price tag and cost $50 per month thereafter.
This post was edited on 3/25/18 at 9:57 am
Posted on 3/25/18 at 12:21 pm to Evolved Simian
quote:
At 12, with no extracurriculars, she and her friends aren't really coordinating anything.
In today's world, kids at that age are communicating and developing friendships that way.
I was explaining how it had an effect even before people were glued to their cell phones. It has only gotten worse
quote:
It's just a Snapchat tool for them. What she really needs is a snapchat device that doesn't come with an $800 price tag and cost $50 per month thereafter.
If you are paying $800 + $50/mo , you are doing life wrong brodie
To get my fictional daughter an iPhone 7 + service would be ~$350 + $20-25/month for unlimited at most
Posted on 3/25/18 at 9:21 pm to LewDawg
Whats wrong with a tablet and facebook for communication? More kids are probably using less text and other applications anyways. Most places have free wifi too. Well anywhere where a "cool kid" would hang out at. shite an old phone with wifi would be legit for a young kiddo.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 12:03 am to LewDawg
Do not get her a phone for as long as possible.
True story: My brother got his son a flip phone old school and was still able to text, but no smart phone stuff. He went on recruiting trips and he told me his son hated it when all the other recruits wanted to exchange info because he had to bring out the Grandpa phone.
True story: My brother got his son a flip phone old school and was still able to text, but no smart phone stuff. He went on recruiting trips and he told me his son hated it when all the other recruits wanted to exchange info because he had to bring out the Grandpa phone.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 4:41 am to LewDawg
My daughter is 12 and we aren’t getting her a phone.
She doesn’t need it. She does have her own tablet for schoolwork and socializing. We monitor her socializing and set the privacy in apps for her.
She doesn’t need it. She does have her own tablet for schoolwork and socializing. We monitor her socializing and set the privacy in apps for her.
This post was edited on 3/26/18 at 4:45 am
Posted on 3/26/18 at 10:16 am to LewDawg
Our 10 year old boy has an iphone 8. We got a 2 for 1 deal from verizon so my wife got it. However, it is extremely limited in what it can do. I hid a lot of the icons so there is no email. the phone has a limited number of numbers in it and I put on an app that blocks most unknown calls. also turned on Find my Friends so I can see where he and the phone are at any given time.
He's only had it a couple of months. If we pick up a pattern of misuse he'll lose it. So far he's been cool.
He's only had it a couple of months. If we pick up a pattern of misuse he'll lose it. So far he's been cool.
Posted on 3/26/18 at 10:29 am to Pavoloco83
quote:
so there is no email
Didn't realize email was some secret menace for 10YOs
Posted on 3/26/18 at 10:29 am to RockyMtnTigerWDE
quote:
He went on recruiting trips and he told me his son hated it when all the other recruits wanted to exchange info because he had to bring out the Grandpa phone.
Your brother sounds like a cruel man
Posted on 3/26/18 at 10:32 am to momentoftruth87
quote:
Whats wrong with a tablet and facebook for communication?
The only practical difference between a tablet and a phone is the ~$20/mo cell service plan. If the parents value the connectivity of the plan at $20, it is worth it
quote:
More kids are probably using less text and other applications anyways.
Nope, still using text. Now iMessage though isn't strictly speaking text so that's a wildcard though
Posted on 3/26/18 at 11:55 am to LewDawg
With great power comes great responsibility and that responsibility is to troll noobs on tRant.
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