re: Divorced guys and gals. What ended your marriage and who made the call?

quote:

---

Shaft??????

---

Why don't you frick off?

quote:

---

and 2 years later I met a wonderful woman, and we have celebrated 19 years of marriage, and are growing old together. It worked out for me.

---

happy for ya brotha

My first wife was a controlling self absorbed bitch who was extremely insecure and tried to beat me down mentally. The better I treated her, the worse she responded. She did her best to alienate me from my friends and family and basically wanted me to be a servant for her and her Mother. She had a lot of health problems so I worked myself to death trying to take care of her, and in response I got cussed daily, hit once, and even shot at. She would sleep on the couch, no affection, and sex maybe once a month. I got tired of it all and just walked away and never looked back. Very messy divorce as she tried to take everything I had and my lawyer didn't help me much. Cost me about 10k total but was worth every cent.

Second wife I met right after my divorce. I wasn't in the right mind frame obviously. She was the opposite of everything my first wife was. Very supportive, great love life, etc. only she was a whore who screwed around on me. That divorce was much easier, I had her dead to rights with proof so she took her personal belongings and left. Cost me 500.00.

No kids with either so luckily I never have to deal with either one. I doubt I ever do it again as I have been divorced for 7 years now and am happier than I ever was. I have a zero tolerance for BS and drama so that rules out 99.99% of the female population for me.

tl/dr version first wife hated me and everyone else, second wife liked me and everyone else when I wasn't around.

quote:

---

I've posted my story on here below.

I came home from work, found a note on the front door "I'm tired of living for everyone else, I want to live for me". Puzzled, I opened the door and walked into a house with no furniture.
This was before the days of cell phones, so I called her parents, and they just told me she would be in touch.
I found out the next day our bank account was empty.
Turns out she had been seeing an old boyfriend, and I had no idea. I had also put her through nursing school, worked overtime to pay for it.
But, I had made a commitment to her and God, and so I told her she would have to divorce me, that I wouldn't do it. It took 1.5 years, but she finally did, and I moved on.

---

You may have already realized this , but if not, here goes. You are the lucky one in this scenario. Your only mistake was marrying her in the first place. Folks like that are doomed to misery and making those around them miserable. You're now free from that parasite and can now possibly find somebody that'll be good for BOTH of you....good luck.

Jesus, man, that's awful.

quote:

---

After talking about it I realized that it was my fault she felt that way so I agreed and paid for the judge and paperwork. Like I said, I was young and I needed college money so I joined the army. I left home in January and didn't get out of training until June. That is almost 6 months the girl had to spend away from her husband. So obviously Jody was taking care of my wife while I was being a good soldier and the marriage didn't survive. I don't regret my military service or losing her because of it. My real mistake was taking a wife at 19 yrs old. I am curious to hear other stories.

---

Wow. So, she said "I do" but then immediately started fricking other guys while you were out doing something for your future together?

It's your fault because you don't expect your woman to be a decent person, and you let her walk all over you.

No woman finds that attractive.

Hearing all this shite makes me never want to be married, I'm on the back side of 30 and haven't touched it.

I don't mean to be a dick, but idk how some of these dudes can live with themselves. If my wife cheated on me, I could give a flying frick how long I'd been away or about our commitment to God. I'm divorcing her and she's not getting a fricking dime. I can't imagine letting myself get run all over by a cheating woman like that. I have too much pride.

quote:

---

our commitment to God

---

I completely understand your viewpoint here. To me it's all about your personal situation, which is unique and has unique differences for every person.

I guess for me, I took my vows seriously when we got married, the whole better or worse thing, and other than illness, nothing is worse than an unfaithful spouse. And Scripture gave me the right to divorce because of the unfaithfulness.

However, I chose to wait it out, as my personal commitment to God was my overriding factor. My wife obviously didn't share that, and that was her personal decision.

If that means she ran all over me because I didn't run to a divorce lawyer than so be it.

22 years removed from that, and I can still hold my head high that I did what I personally felt was the right thing to do. It's also why I can talk about it in person and on here.

I do agree, everyone has to asses their personal situation and do what they think is best. This was how I handled it, and I don't regret it a bit.

quote:

---

To me it's all about your personal situation, which is unique and has unique differences for every person.

---

Of course, and I wasn't trying to be demeaning. I just think God would understand in a circumstance such as yours. I'd like to think so, anyways.