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Split Bank Accounts
Posted on 3/8/19 at 8:14 am
Posted on 3/8/19 at 8:14 am
Do any of you married baws/bawdettes have separate bank accounts from your SO? Hadn't even considered this as a possibility, but hear about it more and more. I think I would strongly oppose it, but most of my relationship views are overly skewed toward traditional, and I'm nowhere near marriage. Curious to see if it works for any of yall.
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Posted on 3/8/19 at 8:19 am to Pitch To Johnny
No. All of our bank accounts are joint. We do have separate credit cards, but also have one shared credit card account for most expenses.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 8:21 am to Pitch To Johnny
First and foremost, whatever you read or hear from others can be helpful but the MOST important thing is whatever works for YOU personally. You don't HAVE to do one thing because most other people do it.
With that said, I've been married almost 2 years now and my wife and I don't even have a single shared account. I still have my separate checking/savings accounts and she has the same of all of hers. We didn't do this for any solid reason, we just didn't feel the need to combine. I still buy all my own shite and she buys her own too. We mostly split the bills of running a household (I pay them all and she gives me roughly half at the beginning of the month). When we go out to eat it's probably evenly split on who buys. It's honestly worked out well and we have no complaints.
With that said, I've been married almost 2 years now and my wife and I don't even have a single shared account. I still have my separate checking/savings accounts and she has the same of all of hers. We didn't do this for any solid reason, we just didn't feel the need to combine. I still buy all my own shite and she buys her own too. We mostly split the bills of running a household (I pay them all and she gives me roughly half at the beginning of the month). When we go out to eat it's probably evenly split on who buys. It's honestly worked out well and we have no complaints.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 8:39 am to WG_Dawg
quote:For sure. I’m single so it’s not even a thought at the moment. Just come from an extremely traditional family and always interested to hear about things like this, living together before marriage, etc. that aren’t even thought of, but work for a lot of people.
First and foremost, whatever you read or hear from others can be helpful but the MOST important thing is whatever works for YOU personally. You don't HAVE to do one thing because most other people do it.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 9:05 am to Pitch To Johnny
My wife and I(11 years next August) have always had shared accounts, banking and credit cards. I just don't see the point in having two.
We believe that we live in a shared household, so if I make more than she does, but she spends more than me, so what. I'm not a big shopper anyway, so it wouldn't be hard for someone else to spend more than me. What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. I wouldn't have married her if I knew she spent money recklessly, but it does bring about some accountability for both of us.
There's no hard and fast rules for us, but if it's a purchase of more than a couple hundred dollars, we'll run it by the other one and if there's any kind of question of if it's necessary, we'll discuss. That's rare because we're usually ok with the other buying whatever they want. We've never had a moment where we had any kind of huge argument or falling out over one of us spending money on anything, but we'll definitely have discussions about it.
We're also at a point in our lives where we have two young kids - we pay about $1800/month for daycare for our 2 year old and after school for our first grader - so we do tend to make sure we're paying attention to the other if one of us wants to make a big purchase. Once the 2 year old get to pre-k in 2 years, we'll get about $12k a year back for discretionary spending, so at that point, we'll probably not be as concerned with what the other is buying in terms of large purchases.
Dual accounts have worked really well for us so far and I don't ever see a time that we'd go to separate accounts.
We believe that we live in a shared household, so if I make more than she does, but she spends more than me, so what. I'm not a big shopper anyway, so it wouldn't be hard for someone else to spend more than me. What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. I wouldn't have married her if I knew she spent money recklessly, but it does bring about some accountability for both of us.
There's no hard and fast rules for us, but if it's a purchase of more than a couple hundred dollars, we'll run it by the other one and if there's any kind of question of if it's necessary, we'll discuss. That's rare because we're usually ok with the other buying whatever they want. We've never had a moment where we had any kind of huge argument or falling out over one of us spending money on anything, but we'll definitely have discussions about it.
We're also at a point in our lives where we have two young kids - we pay about $1800/month for daycare for our 2 year old and after school for our first grader - so we do tend to make sure we're paying attention to the other if one of us wants to make a big purchase. Once the 2 year old get to pre-k in 2 years, we'll get about $12k a year back for discretionary spending, so at that point, we'll probably not be as concerned with what the other is buying in terms of large purchases.
Dual accounts have worked really well for us so far and I don't ever see a time that we'd go to separate accounts.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 9:08 am to Pitch To Johnny
quote:
living together before marriage
Do it. I really believe that the divorce rate would be lower if people lived together prior to engagement/marriage. My wife and I lived together for about 6 months before we got engaged. Our parents weren't thrilled about it, but it's not their life.
You usually have a good idea of what someone will be like if you spend enough time with them, but living with them brings out those quirks you'd never see otherwise, so it's good to make sure those aren't deal breakers before taking that next step.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 9:26 am to kage
quote:Will say this is the main driving force. But regardless, whether sharing a lease or not, several long trips and staying together for weeks/months at a time will happen one way or another. Honestly I'm extremely easy to please as far as roommates go, I'm more worried about someone putting up with my quirks than the other way around.
Our parents weren't thrilled about it, but it's not their life.
Also feel like your banking outlook is exactly the situation I will push for. But again, still having trouble finding someone to even date long term, so the cart is wayyyyy before the horse on these topics
Posted on 3/8/19 at 10:05 am to Pitch To Johnny
We each have separate checking accounts accounts and general bank savings accounts. We have a joint checking as well. With all the free banking, there is no need to create an issue about it if either of you migt have one. Ours is done so, more out need, then concern for each other
Posted on 3/8/19 at 10:27 am to Pitch To Johnny
quote:
Do any of you married baws/bawdettes have separate bank accounts from your SO?
I did in marriage #1; I don't recommend it
Posted on 3/8/19 at 10:35 am to Pitch To Johnny
My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we have separate bank accounts.
She has her money and I have mine. We both have each other set up so we can transfer money to each other if needed.
She has her money and I have mine. We both have each other set up so we can transfer money to each other if needed.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 11:12 am to Pitch To Johnny
quote:
living together before marriage
Im pretty young, but I thought this was pretty common now days.
Not even engaged too, BF/GF living together.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 11:38 am to I Bleed Garnet
Its likely more common than not these days, and with good reason as listed above. Still doesn't stop my ultra conservative mom from dropping a "did you hear they're LIVING together?" any opportunity she gets
Posted on 3/8/19 at 11:57 am to Pitch To Johnny
My parents are the same for everything but that.
And it’s quite refreshing.
(Because they still send me the usual texts about hating gays, non Christians, non whites etc... but are ok with me living with my female... actually pushed me , when the frick are you moving in with her?)
And it’s quite refreshing.
(Because they still send me the usual texts about hating gays, non Christians, non whites etc... but are ok with me living with my female... actually pushed me , when the frick are you moving in with her?)
This post was edited on 3/8/19 at 12:00 pm
Posted on 3/8/19 at 4:46 pm to Pitch To Johnny
We have a joint account that I keep the debit card for and she has a separate account for her business.
and she has a separate account for her business.Posted on 3/8/19 at 5:01 pm to WG_Dawg
quote:
(I pay them all and she gives me roughly half at the beginning of the month). When we go out to eat it's probably evenly split on who buys.
You don't have a wife. You have a roommate who gives you sex.
But since you had a wedding, she gets a bunch of your shite when she finds a new roommate.
This post was edited on 3/8/19 at 5:28 pm
Posted on 3/8/19 at 6:00 pm to Pitch To Johnny
I've been married 23+ years; we've always had separate accounts. Initially the reason was to keep my ex from digging into our finances. That problem is long gone and we kept separate accounts just out of inertia, I suppose, though we do find it more convenient. It isn't about mistrust. I can see how separate accounts might be a PITA for young newlyweds, though.
Posted on 3/8/19 at 7:17 pm to Pitch To Johnny
No, one bank account between my better half and myself. Never had any issues or given it much thought tbh.
Posted on 3/9/19 at 12:06 am to Pitch To Johnny
The wife and I have separate accounts but we are also on each other's account just in case something bad was to happen to the other. It's pretty simple because we split the bill up. She pays the car insurance, house insurance, power, and water. I pay health insurance, internet/cable, life insurance, and contribute heavily to the 401k. I give her money for the mortgage payment.
Posted on 3/9/19 at 5:31 am to Pitch To Johnny
Our pre-marital counselor advised us to not do separate accounts; we didn’t, and it’s worked out well for 13 years.
Posted on 3/9/19 at 12:55 pm to Evolved Simian
quote:
But since you had a wedding, she gets a bunch of your shite when she finds a new roommate.
It’s 2019 baw
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