re: What's the simplest thing you've had to explain to a full grown adult?

That if you are into the whole liberal vs. conservative thing you are an easily led sheep and part of the problem

I had to explain to my wife how babies are made. She thought it happened through vaginal intercourse until I explained to her to it only happened through anal sex.

I brought home a key-start push mower one day and showed off how easy it was to start to the missus. She's one of the smartest women I know... about some things.

"It doesn't use gas?"

Woman brought in a dog and didn't realize it was pregnant - it happens. I then had to explain to her how the dog gives birth b/c it was her understanding that since it's a dog it would just kinda throw the puppies up out of its mouth. This woman was a mother and I have to assume was familiar with the birthing process.

out. of. its. mouth.

You don't actually blow on it.


My buddy worked at Disney World one summer during college and he said a middle aged woman asked him while on a tour down Main Street if the castle was there before Walt Disney chose the location for the magic kingdom.

I've had to explain scarcity to someone with a master's degree. She didn't understand why poverty wouldn't end if you just gave everyone a million dollars. I had to show her pictures of Zimbabwe currency and everything.

We live in the eastern time zone. I've had to, repeatedly, tell a friend of mine that New York, DC, Baltimore, etc aren't on a different time.

One of my most-frustrating was during the movie ID Thief with Jason Bateman. There's an establishing shot that says "St Louis," but it's clearly Chattanooga. The aquarium, Ross's Landing, everything are there, plus a digitally rendered Gateway Arch. My buddy's wife (who is born and raised in Chattanooga) got really mad at me when I told her that it wasn't St Louis. She swore that "they can't put it in a movie if it's not true."

I find a lot of people don't realize that modern cars put a triangle on the side of the gas icon to indicate which side has the gas cap.

Motorboat 'em big titties

My wife was changing my infant son's diaper when he was around 1-2 weeks old (she had a C-section and was bed ridden for a while) and noticed his balls were quite loose and deflated. Previously she had only changed him when he was cold, I guess, and they had been tight. She freaked the frick out thinking something was very wrong.

I had a humorous conversation with her about male anatomy and natural thermometers.

Let's See.

Car battery died, upon explaining to the missus that we needed another one I got the "I thought cars run on gas".

I had to explain the pronunciation of Titleist as its script led someone to pronounce it "Fit-least"