MSU Bama Game Prediction (from the eyes of a Bama fan)

First quarter:
Bama wins the toss and elects to defer. Bama kicks off and Bama's special team gets to the ball and Bama player downs it on the one inch line. Daak lines up under center for the first play. He receives the snap and Bama's defensive line comes at us with so much power that they bowl over our offensive line. All of the offensive linemen and linebackers break their legs and Dak's head falls off shortly after his pass falls incomplete. After the play the field looks like an Afghani war zone after our US special forces have completed their work. Bama cheerleaders sift through the carnage in search of anything valuable but find nothing they could even sell at a pawn shop. After the cleanup the game resumes. Remaining MSU players are so scared they poop their pants and run off the field. Dan Mullen starts sucking his thumb like a little baby. Bama walks in for a touchdown and the game is called. Bama wins 6-0.