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re: Rolling The Tide | America's most embarrassing fan base and their stories
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:00 pm to LSU Patrick
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:00 pm to LSU Patrick
and this will be number 900
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:00 pm to OC
From the linked NYT article:
LOL
quote:
Whatever happens, it now appears DuBose will be the Tide's coach for years to come.
LOL
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:03 pm to LSU Patrick
quote:
He's a 38 year old grandfather and he owns fourteen shirts, thirteen of which have to do with Alabama football's mythical national titles.
An important aspect of his life is that everyone must know that Alabama is his favorite team at every moment of his life. His truck, his trailer, his clothing, his animals, his arm, his parole papers -- all of them must include a reference to his Alabama fandom.
To not do this would be unacceptable.
When he was 19 he got a 14 year old pregnant, married her, and then got another, different, 14 year old pregnant and subsequently got divorced. Then he got a third 14 year old pregnant and there was only one appropriate way to celebrate this accomplishment while simultaneously combining it with his love for Bama football.
His tailgate was his canvas.
quote:
Despite dropping out of school of his own volition at the age of 16 he blames, "the Mexicans and Mike Shula," for everything that has gone wrong in his life for the past twenty years.
He spent the Mike Shula era in prison for passing bad checks at Mexican restaurants -- at his trial he said, "I wish they'd go back to their country, but leave their burritos," -- but he still felt compelled to send Shula fan letters from prison.
Every single letter began with, "Hey looser," and ended with "your gay."
His proudest moment in the past fifteen years was when he was best man at his son's shotgun wedding outside Bama's stadium before the 2013 spring game.
quote:
He "made it classy" by convincing his son to wear a houndstooth hat.
The wedding was doubly powerful because he had conceived the same son while wearing this same Stabler jersey and having sex with the third 14 year old in a Tuscaloosa Waffle House bathroom.
The circle of Bama fan life.
One of his other sons married a tattoo parlor chick and they got their picture taken for the family Christmas card.
That son wore his awesome new Alabama swag t-shirt.
quote:
Their fifth child was a football.
Even the family dog of the "smart son" can't escape having a favorite football team.
The "smart son" graduated from high school at the age of 20 and now lives in Birmingham where he plays in a band and "acts all uppity."
By "acts all uppity," they mean, "doesn't live in a trailer."
quote:
If y'all want to judge him, y'all can all go to hell and "kiss the rings."
He doesn't mean literally kiss the rings since he pawned each of his wedding rings and sold platelets to go watch the latest Alabama-Auburn game.
Roll Tide, Roll, bitches.
Home sweet home.
quote:
By the way, he just claimed another national title for this #1 dumbest fan base ranking.
He would travel to Tennessee to shake my hand in person if it wasn't a parole violation to do so.
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:12 pm to GEAUXmedic
quote:
"I wish they'd go back to their country, but leave their burritos,"
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:19 pm to GEAUXmedic
quote:
Every single letter began with, "Hey looser," and ended with "your gay."
classic
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:19 pm to GEAUXmedic
That's good shite right there
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:22 pm to bamabenny
I wonder if there's one for LSU like that..
eta: there's not
but...
Kentucky
Ohio State
Tennessee
eta: there's not
but...
Kentucky
Ohio State
Tennessee
This post was edited on 7/24/14 at 12:24 pm
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:27 pm to GEAUXmedic
The Kentucky and Tennessee ones were good but not nearly as funny as the Bama one.
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:28 pm to GEAUXmedic
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:46 pm to OC
quote:
Has anyone mentioned Mike Price and Destiny?
I doubt Mike Price is a Bama fan, dumb frick.
Posted on 7/24/14 at 12:48 pm to Funky Tide 8
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I doubt Mike Price is a Bama fan,
Well, not after the way he was treated so rudely while he was there.
Posted on 7/24/14 at 1:14 pm to MrAUTigers
quote:
Well, not after the way he was treated so rudely while he was there.
It's rollin' baby, it's rollin'.
Best quote from a HC banging 2 strippers in a hotel room, EVAR!
Posted on 7/24/14 at 2:10 pm to Funky Tide 8
quote:
I doubt Mike Price is a Bama fan
Any one over 17 that acts that stupid is bammer material.
Posted on 7/24/14 at 2:13 pm to DoubleDown
quote:
Best quote from a HC banging 2 strippers in a hotel room, EVAR!
until you see his destiny
Posted on 7/24/14 at 2:15 pm to BammerDelendaEst
quote:
Any one over 17 that acts that stupid is bammer material.
Posted on 7/24/14 at 2:22 pm to NYCAuburn
Posted on 7/24/14 at 2:33 pm to VermilionTiger
Bama fans + Walmart =
RTR
and
RollDamnTide
and
RMFT
ETA:
roll tide
and
RollTideRoll
RTR
and
RollDamnTide
and
RMFT
ETA:
roll tide
and
RollTideRoll
This post was edited on 7/24/14 at 2:42 pm
Posted on 7/24/14 at 3:06 pm to GEAUXmedic
quote:I might make this my sig
Every single letter began with, "Hey looser," and ended with "your gay."
Posted on 7/24/14 at 3:17 pm to Patton
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