re: What would the alliances look like in an all-SEC war?

Missouri, tired of the red headed step child rhetoric decides to assert themselves and attack the Pigs, catching them offguard with a blitzkrieg attack. Missouri miscalculates the speed of their attack and the stoutness of SEC defenses and are repelled after winning only 2 minor battles, but not before reminding the pigs that they hold the all time series advantage as they retreat.

This sends the Flagship fans into an uproar and immediately an envoy of Wal Mart greeters marches towards Columbia muttering to themselves about track and field.

Meanwhile the other Columbia, not to be outdone, decides to send troops thru Georgia to demand a rivalry. However while embarking on a side campaign to sack Clempson on the way, they are blockaded by the tigers who got the wrong idea of what they intended from the Cocks United banner and techno music they marched to.

Mizzou, unaware that Arky is on the attack, decides to join forces with the other Columbia and meet in Tennessee and take out the Vols. Kentucky was discussed as a target, but rejected as the entire state seems to hibernate until November.

Alabama, upon hearing about the attack decides to attack from the south to help finish off the weakened Vols once and for all, but does not join the Tiger Cock Brotherhood.

Auburn, unable to withstand watching Bammer get what they want, decide to launch a counter offensive on a now vulnerable Bama, and General Malzahn hires Major Tuberville as a consultant, as is intimately familiar with doing just that (cigars are readied).

Before they can act however, UGA joins the skirmish and advances on Auburn, taking back Western Georgia once and for all. Despite fielding one of the finest armies available General Richt loses a few battles he should not.

With the Mississippi schools occupied in their own civil war, complete with Hugh Freeze recruiting the best troops around to the skeptical astonishment of those watching, the Tennessee/Auburn alliance reaches out to LSU for help, asking them to attack Florida before they can enter the fray.

The LSU army, led by fanatically insane General Les Miles, instead doesn't act and merely resorts to political action in the form of bitching to Emperor Slive about how unfair it is that they are the ones who must take on Florida, while Bama only gets a weakened Tennessee to deal with.

Meanwhile Vanderbilt General James Franklin looks out from his Ivory tower office and laughs at the carnage he has been instigating on all fronts behind the scenes, including the political assassination of former Vandy statesmen Gordon Gee.

The Aggies, still on a celebratory tour for hero Captain Manziel don't even realize war has broken out.

Emperor Slive, not wanting to see his superior league weakened, calls on the heads of each army for a cease fire. If they can all somehow put aside their differences and join forces with the four letter entity who covers the war, they will forever be rich and powerful.

Despite the reservations of everyone involved an armistice is declared, with 6 of the armies controlling the alliance and subjugating the other 8 openly.

Great thread. Lots of funny stuff in here. There are just so many ways it could go:

Pure hatred between fanbases, geography, cultural similarities, land-grant/A&M vs. flagships, charter members vs new additions, etc.

I do think that when push comes to shove the SEC schools (and yes, even fans) tend to unite against outsiders.

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I do think that when push comes to shove the SEC schools (and yes, even fans) tend to unite against outsiders.

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I think this is why the SEC chant pisses off so many other fanbases, because we do tend to look out for one another.

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Not until after he blew up the death star. Then, like a good apprentice, he would murder his master and take over the empire.

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Manziel is going to kill Sumlin?

I guess he really is Bevo spy

Tennessee, Auburn and Georgia would align with Alabama as the axis powers.

The SEC office would be the equivalent of the UN and support and be controlled by the dictatorial, evil axis powers.

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The SEC really like a family

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We act like the middle-east.

For outsiders, we join up together.

If there are no outsiders to battle, we fight each other.

Okay, I think the Quad-lateral Rivalry Commission (A&M, Arkansas, LSU & Missouri) are ready to move. Aggies are parachuting into Lawrence for a tuneup as we speak. Mizzou is armed with flame throwers along US 63, Hogs are marching up I-49, LSU is passed out drunk...Move Out!

Where's Semotraun