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SIAP: Your BCS School As A Drug
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:19 pm
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:19 pm
Link to the rest
"SEC
ALABAMA: Cocaine. Undefeated, except for the big blank spots in the record taken by criminal sanction. Powerful. Can turn you into an unbelievable a-hole. Expensive, and has a strong correlation with criminal behavior. Brought to you by a vast, shadowy cartel.
AUBURN: Knockoff cocaine. Strong correlation with criminal behavior. High highs; lows often associated with cash-only exchanges. Brought to you by a small, shadowy cartel.
FLORIDA: Meth. Really only got big after 1990. Violent binges interspersed with long dormant periods. Commonalities: scaly skin, high profit margins, chews through management quickly, occasional disastrous explosions.
GEORGIA: Unsure about Georgia. Zero pattern, pretty good but not great, numbing...Xanax. UGA is Xanax.
LSU: Bourbon. Fuel for great achievements and ill-advised sexual escapades. Might make love to you. Might kill you with a shovel. Damages long term memory with repeated exposures.
TENNESSEE: Ketamine. Creates a trapped, hole-like experience for the user. Label on vial says "For use on subhuman primates only."
VANDERBILT: Nutmeg. Horrible visions, nausea, the last resort of desperate sailors.
KENTUCKY: Methadone. The sad substitute for the drug you cannot get.
TEXAS A&M: Acid. The drug most compatible with creating cults. Wild visions, never wears off. Makes you say things like, "hey, did you notice dog and God are the same words?"
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Mescaline, because you hear bells too, right?
MIZZOU: Over-the-counter ephedrine pills. Induces paranoia, sleeplessness, inability to sit still. May cause you to ice own kicker.
OLE MISS: Keyboard cleaner.
SOUTH CAROLINA: Gas-huffing. Hard to explain the appeal to non-devotees. Headaches, vomiting, delusions. Users are loyal beyond all reason.
ARKANSAS: Ayahuasca. a potent hallucinogen. "A religious sacrament that makes you see demons." NAILED IT."
"SEC
ALABAMA: Cocaine. Undefeated, except for the big blank spots in the record taken by criminal sanction. Powerful. Can turn you into an unbelievable a-hole. Expensive, and has a strong correlation with criminal behavior. Brought to you by a vast, shadowy cartel.
AUBURN: Knockoff cocaine. Strong correlation with criminal behavior. High highs; lows often associated with cash-only exchanges. Brought to you by a small, shadowy cartel.
FLORIDA: Meth. Really only got big after 1990. Violent binges interspersed with long dormant periods. Commonalities: scaly skin, high profit margins, chews through management quickly, occasional disastrous explosions.
GEORGIA: Unsure about Georgia. Zero pattern, pretty good but not great, numbing...Xanax. UGA is Xanax.
LSU: Bourbon. Fuel for great achievements and ill-advised sexual escapades. Might make love to you. Might kill you with a shovel. Damages long term memory with repeated exposures.
TENNESSEE: Ketamine. Creates a trapped, hole-like experience for the user. Label on vial says "For use on subhuman primates only."
VANDERBILT: Nutmeg. Horrible visions, nausea, the last resort of desperate sailors.
KENTUCKY: Methadone. The sad substitute for the drug you cannot get.
TEXAS A&M: Acid. The drug most compatible with creating cults. Wild visions, never wears off. Makes you say things like, "hey, did you notice dog and God are the same words?"
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Mescaline, because you hear bells too, right?
MIZZOU: Over-the-counter ephedrine pills. Induces paranoia, sleeplessness, inability to sit still. May cause you to ice own kicker.
OLE MISS: Keyboard cleaner.
SOUTH CAROLINA: Gas-huffing. Hard to explain the appeal to non-devotees. Headaches, vomiting, delusions. Users are loyal beyond all reason.
ARKANSAS: Ayahuasca. a potent hallucinogen. "A religious sacrament that makes you see demons." NAILED IT."
15
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:22 pm to tg0926
Alabama=fart huffers
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:23 pm to tg0926
Huge MEH.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:24 pm to tg0926
How fricking stupid is this thread? 
Terrible.
Terrible.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:30 pm to tg0926
quote:
ALABAMA: Cocaine. Undefeated
not quite...
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:31 pm to tg0926
quote:
OHIO STATE: Weed. Wildly popular. Gets smoked by SEC football players in bowls
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:32 pm to tg0926
i don't even know what to say
Posted on 7/6/12 at 3:43 pm to tg0926
This thread fricking ghey
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:04 pm to tg0926
quote:
OLE MISS: Keyboard cleaner.
Alright. I
'd
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:07 pm to tg0926
My God the season has GOT to start soon.........Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:20 pm to tg0926
quote:
FLORIDA: Meth.
stopped reading
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:35 pm to tg0926
Arkansas = RU486
Pop one the morning after and the egg we laid the night before has disappeared.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 4:44 pm to tg0926
I actually thought it was kinda funny. Thanks for the link.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 5:00 pm to tg0926
OD and diaf
Posted on 7/6/12 at 5:21 pm to tg0926
I enjoyed it. There were some funny ones. Better than the monthly 'SEC teams as countries' thread.
Posted on 7/6/12 at 5:23 pm to tg0926
quote:
UGA is Xanax.
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