Alabama is the worst Southern state

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First of all, Alabama has no unique culture. Anything Alabama claims as their own is stolen from another Southern state. Their attempt at Mardi Gras is pathetic and everyone knows that Mardi Gras should only be celebrated in Louisiana.

Alabama ranks low, if not last, in every single metric regarding health, poverty, education, income, and quality of life. While other Southern states have become economic powerhouses, Alabama has been hard at work leeching off the federal government.

The only parts of Alabama that don't look like Haiti are a stone's throw from another state. The land north of the Tennessee River is developed because it's basically Tennessee, and some of the beaches are nice because it's close enough to Florida. People from Auburn would prefer to be a part of Georgia.

The Southern econonic boom has left Alabama in the dark because its residents are too backwoods for the 21st century. It is a century behind Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, so they try to compensate for this with the delusion that they are at least better than their western neighbor. However, Mississippi had contributed much more to Southern culture, namely in music and literature. Mississippi has Faulkner, Elvis, and Oprah for Christ's sake. What the frick does Alabama have besides sister fricking and being infamous for racism?

The rest of the South should disavow these 3rd world leeches.

P.S. mayonnaise doesn't belong on bbq