Insight on the REC SEC Referee Program & The Truth About Tua

Let me tell you folks a story....

I usually sell Virginia Slims out of the back of my Datsun.



However, today, I heard that Rich Rodriguez was in town. Therefore, I went to Robin Rents and got me a larger truck and a fork lift.




I believe I can empty my truck by selling all of my Virginia Slims to Rita Rodriguez at double the price. Boz, can you confirm that Rich is still in town? I will be more than happy to split my profits with you. However, keep in mind that I will have to donate 35% of the earnings to the REC. I am hoping that this exchange will fund the REC's SEC Referree Program for the next 10 years.

Don't believe me that I can make double profits? Look at this face.



Unfortunately, this is where I need to come clean, aight?

I have been selling my cigarettes to Tua after each game. He has been smoking those frickING CIGARRETES

Tua's addiction started after he got some of that to-baccy in the Cigar after the TSIO victory.

Saban is a fricking MORON. We could have one of the ALL TIME GREATEST TEAMS OF EVER. shite, probably would beat the Buffalo Bills by 24.

A.) it's a secondary NCAA violation. He really has lost the control of the program. NCAA is going to come frick US IN THE BUTT.

B.) Tua is now ADDICTED because Saban didn't have the FORESIGHT of getting young men addicted. He plays these kids and don't think about ruining their lives. Everyone feels like they have to participate in this ritual.

Due to smoking, Tua's performance is diminishing

1.) Vision - He is starting to get cataracts and glaucoma. He missed that easy slant last week. Did ya'll baws see that shite?

2.) Longer to Heal - Nutrients, minerals, and oxygen are all supplied to the tissue through the bloodstream. Nicotine causes blood vessels to tighten, which decreases levels of nutrients supplied to wounds. The baw should have been healed up after the bye week but these cigarettes are turning him into a pussy.

3.) Tired Muscles - Muscle deterioration. When you smoke, less blood and oxygen flow to your muscles, making it harder to build muscle. The boy can't run 40 yards against LSU without slowing down and actin' tired.

4.) More Broken Bones - Ingredients in cigarette smoke disrupt the natural cycle of bone health. How hurt has he been since he been at Alabama? He is hurt all the time.

Think about all this. Don't believe me? Here is my source. Don't smoke kids

Still don't believe me after reading my sources? Well frick, here he is.






Ya'll have chauvinistic pig attitudes because your Bama fans. I'm struttin' my arse to Guntersville now.




























Obligatory...