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re: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:30 pm to Raid05
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:30 pm to Raid05
quote:
Baylor hits the lottery on a coach again and can’t keep him.
Why?
Because they're fricking BAYLOR!!!
quote:
I have a message for our beloved baptists in Waco. I would appreciate it if someone who goes to their site would link up and send them a message for me.
I want to tell them that I admire them. I admire the fact that they are better fans than we are. I admire them because they've been through so much these past years.
Chuck Reedy, Dave Roberts, Kevin Steele and now Guy Morriss.
Why can't we get better coaches here, they ask? Why can't we get better recruits here? We pray, we pay, we cheer, we wear green, we travel back to Waco now and then, we fly our little flags with our little foam fingers. We care. We want to win.
I want them to read this while the lingering defeat still stings in their loins. I have the answer to these questions. You can read my response and then go have a better life with the satisfaction of having this knowledge.
The reason you can't have better coaches and better recruits is simple.
You're Baylor.
You're not the Aggies or the Whorns. You're not even close. You can't even compete with Tard. TCU? Forget it. I know you're all passionate.
But you're Baylor.
I know you think I'm just running smack, but really I'm not.
You're Baylor.
Say it.
I'm Baylor.
I'm Baylor.
You're getting it.
I'm Baylor. I beat A&M one year out of 20+. Not much better against the other Texas schools. I'm not going to get any better. Really. I'm not. I'm Baylor.
I'm that kid that nobody picked to be on their team. But at that Fall Festival that year, I paid my $10 and dunked the captain of the football team in that dunking booth when he laughed at me for throwing like a girl. And it felt good.
I'm Baylor.
I got voted Most Likely to Succeed from the brass section of the band, and I made them proud by being accepted into a school lower ranked than the other Texas schools. But I paid more than the other kids did.
I'm Baylor.
I went to school in the worst city in this great state. They had to put a school here because otherwise, we'd all have to be Temple College fans.
I'm Baylor.
Notice how I didn't mention Koresh or people who died in your city. You shouldn't mention people who died in my bonfire. Ever again. Because these people are our brothers and sisters, and our pain for them is real.
But you won't do that anymore because now you know who you are.
You're not getting any better.
You'll never be worth mentioning on ESPN except when you take your annual asskicking by your fellow Texas schools you piggybacked into this great conference (our most sincere apologies to TCU).
You're Baylor.
And you'll be watching your daddies during the bowl season.
Decorate your trees and trim them with the green and gold. Spend Christmas with nighttime dreams of candy canes, Jolly St. Nick and an upset at Kyle or against Texas next year.
And then wake up. Take a whizz. Comb your hair. Kiss your kids.
And then remember what I told you.
You're Baylor.
~txjortsagent
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:31 pm to KaiserSoze99
Quoting a convicted felon is probably not the way to go here.
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:39 pm to CGSC Lobotomy
Stop ruining the epic rant. We know Jorts is a loser.
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:41 pm to KaiserSoze99
Even Jim Rome shits on baylor and appears to have read txjortsagent's post TexAgs Rivalries.
You're Baylor!
You're Baylor!
quote:
Scrubby little baylor.
I mean, even they have to know they are baylor.
Baylor going baylor.
Hey, baylor. You do know you're baylor, right? And that nobody gives a damn about you?
That you're baylor?
Why would I be talking about baylor?
Scrubby little baylor is holding up this potential seismic shift in college football.
Texas A&M can't move, because baylor is threatening to sue them and the SEC. And they have enlisted the other scrubs of the Big 12 that are going to get screwed, to join their cause.
Because anyone not associated with baylor gives a damn about baylor football.
~Jim Rome
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:43 pm to CGSC Lobotomy
That dude and his cult following always rubbed me the wrong way.
It all made sense at the end.
It all made sense at the end.
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:44 pm to CGSC Lobotomy
quote:
Quoting a convicted felon is probably not the way to go here.
His status as a criminal does not, in any way, shape, or form, detract from his epic posting abilities.
I can't find the one where he responded to "what does butthurt smell like." Complete comedy gold. The guy is talented. I just wish he hadn't let himself get so frick up. Really sad situation.
Posted on 1/7/20 at 1:58 pm to KaiserSoze99
quote:
paid my $10 and dunked the captain of the football team in that dunking booth when he laughed at me for throwing like a girl.
Lol’d.
Posted on 1/7/20 at 2:13 pm to KaiserSoze99
quote:
epic posting abilities.
All he ever did was talk shite in the safe space called rivalries. I'm not sure what's so impressive about a grown arse man who posts like a 13 year old who just discovered social media. Dude was obnoxious as hell. And his cult was even worse.
Posted on 1/7/20 at 9:05 pm to CGSC Lobotomy
I abandoned Texags and missed all of this.
Posted on 1/8/20 at 12:02 am to KaiserSoze99
My favorite line of his is, "I bet her poon tastes like anchovies and Sucrets."
Not sure if it was anchovies, but Sucrets was used often.
Not sure if it was anchovies, but Sucrets was used often.
Posted on 1/8/20 at 8:02 am to Ollieoxenfree99
Between agent and RAMF, there was never a dull moment. That was before TexAgs started getting Rated-G.
Those who hated agent's antics seem to have taken a lot of it out of context. They were not in on some of the pre-2000 lore.
I had my small contributions to the existing lore. I coined BAS (battered aggie syndrome) in an OP back in the early 2000s bitching about RC's "run to the pile" offense. I also was responsible for the whole "launching a blimp" meme (in other words, making a non-sequitur argument) which was derived from me quoting Bill & Ted in the bar fight: "look, it's the Goodyear blimp" every time a sip or tard tried to change the subject. But, TexAgs owes most of its early success to Agent, RAMF, Snow Monkey Ambassador (I know him IRL) and 13-0 Branding Iron. There would not be TexAgs without those four stirring the pot from 1999.
NOBOBY could write like RAMF. IHIOGA that his writing style is identical to his verbal style.
Pay no attention to the haters. They're late comers.
Posted on 1/8/20 at 9:30 am to Texas Weazel
quote:
That dude and his cult following always rubbed me the wrong way.
It all made sense at the end
Story please?
This post was edited on 1/8/20 at 9:31 am
Posted on 1/8/20 at 12:31 pm to KaiserSoze99
quote:
I had my small contributions to the existing lore.
Ol' 99 himself
quote:
TexAgs owes most of its early success to Agent, RAMF, Snow Monkey Ambassador (I know him IRL) and 13-0 Branding Iron.
Indeed.
I felt kinda bad I had to run ol' Brandi off of here a few years back.
Posted on 1/8/20 at 12:34 pm to TbirdSpur2010
quote:
I felt kinda bad I had to run ol' Brandi off of here a few years back
Why feel bad? Brandi's an a-hole.
Did he get perma-banned or just scared off?
Posted on 1/8/20 at 3:34 pm to PhilipMarlowe
It's a long and complicated history that even I don't fully understand. But the ending was so disturbing and quite sad. I believe it all culminated with the guy allegedly going into a coma and then having to face his accusations.
People on TexAgs idolized this dude because all he ever did was obnoxiously talk shite about UT, Baylor, and Texas Tech. He was so popular that he made IRL friends on the site and had a "clique" of posters who worshipped the land he walked on. So you can imagine the shite that went down when mods and ownership finally banned him. They were all called out for giving him preferential treatment and ignoring the posters who were making claims against him. Some of his poster friends even went down defending him to the very end.
It's a long read that will probably bore you if you've never been part of the site. But here two of the posts that should give you an idea of the shite he allegedly did.
LINK
LINK 2
People on TexAgs idolized this dude because all he ever did was obnoxiously talk shite about UT, Baylor, and Texas Tech. He was so popular that he made IRL friends on the site and had a "clique" of posters who worshipped the land he walked on. So you can imagine the shite that went down when mods and ownership finally banned him. They were all called out for giving him preferential treatment and ignoring the posters who were making claims against him. Some of his poster friends even went down defending him to the very end.
It's a long read that will probably bore you if you've never been part of the site. But here two of the posts that should give you an idea of the shite he allegedly did.
LINK
LINK 2
Posted on 1/8/20 at 3:36 pm to TbirdSpur2010
quote:
I had to run ol' Brandi off
To be fair, Brandi ran himself out. He came here posting as if this was old rivalries and tRant overwhelmed him.
Posted on 1/8/20 at 6:15 pm to TbirdSpur2010
A few years back? I think that was this summer
Posted on 1/8/20 at 6:20 pm to Old Sarge
No, it was before the UCLA collapse.
Posted on 1/9/20 at 6:33 am to Texas Weazel
Oh, there is no question that agent had serious problems. He had his Texas law license suspended for being convicted of possession of pot in Arizona. It spiraled from there.
His marriage fell apart. He got WAY behind in child support. Ultimately, he was held in contempt for failure to pay, and ended up in jail. Several TexAgs posters who knew him in person had asked him to do legal work for them, and paid for it, but he never followed through and kept their money. That was the final straw for Brandon Jones (TexAgs owner).
All that being true, agent was still funny as hell and was one of the few responsible for TexAgs becoming a success.
His marriage fell apart. He got WAY behind in child support. Ultimately, he was held in contempt for failure to pay, and ended up in jail. Several TexAgs posters who knew him in person had asked him to do legal work for them, and paid for it, but he never followed through and kept their money. That was the final straw for Brandon Jones (TexAgs owner).
All that being true, agent was still funny as hell and was one of the few responsible for TexAgs becoming a success.
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