Since Mizzou has been in the SEC, my brother and I have been to three away games: South Carolina, Tennessee, and Vanderbilt. However, we've been to Faurot Field South (otherwise known as College Station) when Mizzou was in the Big 12, so technically we've done four SEC away games.

Here are my honest first impressions of SEC fans of teams we visited during "away games":

South Carolina

First...it was hot as frick in Columbia, SC. Not the good hot either. People were sweaty and more than a few smelled bad. But I will allow it because it was so damn hot.

Back on topic. South Carolina fans really didn't desire pre-game interactions with Mizzou fans. They sort of kept to themselves and ignored Mizzou fans. We got the impression they viewed Mizzou as a sure win, and unfortunately for Mizzou fans they stomped us in 2012 so you can't really blame them.

The unwelcoming cold shoulder attitude most Mizzou fans experienced outside Williams-Brice was nowhere near as bad as the outright disdain, rude, and obnoxious behavior Mizzou fans experienced inside the stadium. SC fans yelled obscenities at Mizzou fans throughout the entire game. People were screaming about how Mizzou did not belong. We witnessed drinks thrown at Mizzou fans. And this all happened in a game SC dominated! There was zero reason for their behavior.

SC was easily the most rude, obnoxious, self entitled fan base we've ever encountered...which makes what Mizzou accomplished in 2013 and 2014 incredibly satisfying.

Side note: FWIW, I like the SC fans who post here. The Cockaboose was a cool thing to see. They could do so much more with the Cockaboose, like make it an actual attraction which occasionally circles the stadium.

SC women were mostly trashy. Of course a few here and there were cute, but most had foul mouths and acted as trashy as possible. I cannot count how many times SC white girls spoke in a ghetto accent. Nothing is less attractive than someone speaking in a fake ghetto girl accent. Plus, they smoked a LOT. Ghetto chainsmoking white girls. BARF! We did not expect this. SC is in the south and we were led to believe all southern women are sundress wearing belles. WRONG.

Tennessee

Very polite fan base. Vol Navy is one of the best pre-game traditions there is. Personally, the cool factor of Vol Navy FAR exceeds the overrated Auburn eagle. I mean, it's just a fricking bird, people! Not like it's a dinosaur brought back from extinction. LOL

Back on topic. Tennessee fans were gracious and genuinely desired communication with Mizzou fans. In fact, TN fans freely invited Mizzou fans to join their tailgating festivities and engaged in normal discussion. Of course they sprinkled their discussions with sleight passive aggressive jabs such as, "I'm not sure you Mizzou fans realize what you've gotten yourselves into regarding this game. Not sure it'll be close, but here's to a good game!"

The Rock was pretty neat. Someone had spray painted a giant portrait of Dobbs (with eyebrows) on the rock. When my bro and I pointed out that Dobbs doesn't have eyebrows, a few really cute and very drunk TN sorostitutes proclaimed, "Josh Dobbs has an eyebrow disease. He can't grow eyebrows....because he has an eyebrow disease!" That didn't really explain why the painting included his eyebrows, but the girls were cute and they took a picture with us before running down the boulevard toward the Satanic "Torchbearer" statue.

Inside the stadium people were completely different. Most of the TN fans inside the stadium were more overweight than average Americans which made seating a very intimate experience. They also did not like when Mizzou fans celebrated a big play or touchdown. But fortunately they spoke their displeasure with their eyes rather than their mouths.

TN student section showed their true colors near the end of the game when they started throwing bottles at the Mizzou bench for a perceived bad call by the officials (as if Mizzou had anything to do with that). One bottle hit a Mizzou player in the head. That player turned around, stormed the sideline, and attempted to climb into the stands to unleash hell on the bratty TN student section before being stopped by security.

When the final seconds ticked away resulting in a Mizzou victory, thousands of Mizzou fans stormed the sideline at midfield to briefly celebrate with the team. After Pinkel concluded post game interviews, he ran over to the Mizzou fans while pumping his fists. He yelled, "Tonight was for you...the fans!" And he led the Mizzou faithful in a long and very loud MIZ...ZOU chant as overweight and sad TN fans struggled to leave their stadium.

All in all Knoxville was a very cool experience. Most TN fans were good people (especially Frat Santa). I'd recommend the trip to anyone.

Women were just okay. Some were cute, but most were just annoying as frick. Most were chubby trying to fit into dresses 2 sizes too small. They wouldn't stop singing that damn Rocky Top song. I mean, they would sing it like every five minutes! The incredible annoyance of their constant singing of a backwooded song made them less attactive.

Vanderbilt

I quickly discovered you go to a Vandy game to experience Nashville rather than the actual game. Vandy fans clearly don't care about football. They're working hard to become leaders of the free world, which is admirable.

The few Vandy fans who actually showed up to the game were nice enough. They engaged in thoughtful conversations, none of which were about football or the game. They asked us where we were from, what there is to do in Missouri, and gave us advice about bars and restaurants to visit while in Nashville. Not once did they engage in football discussion. And to be honest...it was refreshing.

It's as if they had brains and desired thoughtful conversation over meaning smack talk. A few took notes about day trips to Missouri lakes and rivers to float. A few were actually from Missouri and spoke about their educational focus. At halftime Vandy chose to acknowledge the brightest bulbs in a midfield ceremony. Parents of the "brightest of the brightest" were formally dressed. Mothers and fathers were crying with pride at their sons and daughters high scholastic achievements. Hell, the entire stadium (both Mizzou and Vandy fans) celebrated these intelligent kids and their promising futures in law, medicine, engineering, etc.

Mizzou lost that game and it sucked. But, Vandy reminded everyone what college is truly about...and that softened the heartache of the game's outcome.

Very pretty girls. Their intelligence and good looks make them stand tall above the rest. Vandy women are wife material.

Texas A&M

Raucous crowd. Cult-like atmosphere. Everything any fan base would envy. Except they are as gay as the shite they receive! There may have been 80 women in a student section of thousands. No lie, we saw dudes kissing at one point on the jumbo tron. They clearly never got Bill Clinton's "Don't ask, don't tell" memo, which is extremely strange considering A&M is a famed military school.

Not that there's anything wrong with heauxmeauxsexuality. I believe there should be more gayness in college. It's good for the sport. Hell, it's no surprise people refer to College Station as Faurot Field South. Mizzou has owned A&M in College Station, but Mizzou is also pretty gay (Michael Sam).

But A&M takes gayness to the extreme. It's just a different world in College Station.

If you can stand the male-on-male grunting, milk men, and overly sexualized bizarre traditions...you'll have a great time! A&M fans were at least very respectful and fun.

Just remember to wear a chastity belt for protection.

This post was edited on 8/29/16 at 7:45 pm