Started By
Message
re: What would the alliances look like in an all-SEC war?
Posted on 6/6/13 at 12:34 am to dbt_Geaux_Tigers_196
Posted on 6/6/13 at 12:34 am to dbt_Geaux_Tigers_196
quote:
too soon
1
Posted on 6/6/13 at 12:57 am to semotruman
TAMU, being good capitalists and all, remain neutral and sells weapons to both sides. Unfortunately, the Corps of Cadets disembowel a few Corndogs that got liquored-up on Kentucky's 'shine and staggered across the Sabine River.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 1:06 am to Bama Bird
Auburn wouldn't join the war right away. They'd first wait to see which side would pay more for their services.
Eh, I call that a W.
quote:
A&M, being A&M, nukes the Longhorns and is itself wiped out by the nuclear fallout.
Eh, I call that a W.
This post was edited on 6/6/13 at 1:38 am
Posted on 6/6/13 at 1:16 am to borodore
quote:
I'll just follow this start. Auburn and UT join LSU, seeing a chance to usurp Bama.
A&M and Ole Miss join Bama to fight LSU. This brings in State on LSU's side.
UGA joins Bama because they don't want to see Auburn and UT prosper. They are joined by VU and UK due to their antipathy towards UT.
USCe joins the LSU alliance to oppose UGA.
UF is the power broker here. They will end up deciding which side wins. However, they aren't crazy about either side since UGA is on one side and UT is on the other. Besides, if they went to war, wearing a helmet would mess up their perfectly gelled hair.
Missouri, randomly, takes advantage of the chaos to try to sack Lawrence, Kansas again.
Arky, sensing weakness, invades Mizzou.
so...on one side LSU, Auburn, UT, USCe, State
on the other Bama, UGA, UK, VU, Ole Miss, A&M
with UF neutral and Arky and Mizzou doing their own stuff.
and this is why Vandy is Vandy.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 2:07 am to CtotheVrzrbck
As much as I hate LSU I'd be willing for MSU to team up with them against Bama and Ole Miss.
More likely MSU = Poland and would get flattened no matter what happened.
More likely MSU = Poland and would get flattened no matter what happened.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 4:03 am to just1dawg
Whatever happens the ags will still be trying to pslug exhaust ports.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 4:38 am to cave canem
quote:
What would the alliances look like in an all-SEC war?
In a true all SEC war the forces of the 14 schools would be united to take on all comers. My guess is the first school to be obliterated by the war is Ohio State based on their recent history 0-9 in bowl games.
ps, Kentucky has :
best dope
best booze
oil and coal
steel mills
gold - Ft Knox
Posted on 6/6/13 at 4:41 am to CGSC Lobotomy
quote:
Manziel manages to fire the photon torpedoes into the small exhaust port.
And eventually ends up making out with his sister...
Posted on 6/6/13 at 5:03 am to dbt_Geaux_Tigers_196
quote:
PSU will be bringing up the rear.
Holy hell.
I went to sleep too early and missed out.Posted on 6/6/13 at 5:05 am to Cheese Grits
quote:
My guess is the first school to be obliterated by the war is Ohio State based on their recent history 0-9 in bowl games.
Do we tell Arkansas to stay home and cook us our pig?
Posted on 6/6/13 at 7:54 am to Bama Bird
It starts with Alabama and Auburn. An Auburn fan comes onto Bama's campus with a statue of a bear bent over. They place it in front of the Bear Bryant statue to simulate sodomy beastiality style a la Super Troopers. LSU jumps in immediately to side against Alabama and start the attack by raiding river towns by fanboat. Stealth has never been LSU's strong suit.
Ole Miss sides with Alabama after the statue incident. They can't stand to see their mascot disgraced like that. Waving confederate flags into the 1990s at football games, no problem. A fake bear appears to be getting it in an exit only point...goes to war. Ole Miss is a strange bunch.
State then obviously sides with the Auburn side, but that's like having the Canadian military backing you up. I guess it's better than nothing, but just barely.
UGA then joins their cultural brothers and the current seat of power in the Alabama alliance. Florida feels jilted that they are not considered the alpha and goes the other way. Plus for the Gators, there's no siding with UGA.
Arkansas siezes the moment to attack Austin, Texas. Those f'ers have a long memory. This really pisses A&M off, who obviously wanted to be the first to sack Austin and they declare war on Arkansas. Missouri attacks Arkansas as well, because that's the only team they know to hate at this point.
Then in the shadows, somebody drops off the recipe for the best meth you've ever seen to the hill people of Eastern Kentucky. Fueled by sleep deprivation and meth rage, they launch an attack on those assholes from Tennessee for years of football beatdowns.
Vandy's president then looks at his AD and says "That bear statue was totally worth the money"
Ole Miss sides with Alabama after the statue incident. They can't stand to see their mascot disgraced like that. Waving confederate flags into the 1990s at football games, no problem. A fake bear appears to be getting it in an exit only point...goes to war. Ole Miss is a strange bunch.
State then obviously sides with the Auburn side, but that's like having the Canadian military backing you up. I guess it's better than nothing, but just barely.
UGA then joins their cultural brothers and the current seat of power in the Alabama alliance. Florida feels jilted that they are not considered the alpha and goes the other way. Plus for the Gators, there's no siding with UGA.
Arkansas siezes the moment to attack Austin, Texas. Those f'ers have a long memory. This really pisses A&M off, who obviously wanted to be the first to sack Austin and they declare war on Arkansas. Missouri attacks Arkansas as well, because that's the only team they know to hate at this point.
Then in the shadows, somebody drops off the recipe for the best meth you've ever seen to the hill people of Eastern Kentucky. Fueled by sleep deprivation and meth rage, they launch an attack on those assholes from Tennessee for years of football beatdowns.
Vandy's president then looks at his AD and says "That bear statue was totally worth the money"
Posted on 6/6/13 at 7:56 am to Duke
I promise you, we would be the first ones to sack Austin. No way in hell Arky beats us to it. We are less than 2 hours away and we have an on-campus armory.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 7:59 am to Gradual_Stroke
quote:
I promise you, we would be the first ones to sack Austin. No way in hell Arky beats us to it. We are less than 2 hours away and we have an on-campus armory.
You're too busy being rational and thinking about what side to support in the SEC war. Arkansas isn't. I'm sure this ends up with Arkansas laying seige. Then A&M comes in, kills the Arkansas army and procedes to pillage and burn Austin.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:03 am to Duke
As long as we at least get to take part in the pillaging, I'll be happy.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:04 am to Ash'sProstheticHand
quote:
A&M, being A&M, nukes the Longhorns and is itself wiped out by the nuclear fallout.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:05 am to Gradual_Stroke
You're like the Lannisters in my story.
"King Bevo, we've come to save the city. Texans unite!"
*is let in to city*
"lol, jk!"
All the men in Austin have sore buttholes after y'all are done with the pillage.
"King Bevo, we've come to save the city. Texans unite!"
*is let in to city*
"lol, jk!"
All the men in Austin have sore buttholes after y'all are done with the pillage.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:09 am to Duke
quote:
All the men in Austin have sore buttholes after y'all are done with the pillage.
As the gayest city in the country not named San Francisco, I'm sure the men in Austin already have sore buttholes.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:17 am to Gradual_Stroke
quote:
I'm sure the men in Austin already have sore buttholes.
They will be more sore than before.
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:33 am to Duke
Can Kentucky just mount the thoroughbreds and become the riders of Rohan of the SEC? Also the Mountain South would be the most defensible. Pigeon Forge /Gatlinburg is pretty much our Helms Deep.
Also modern weaponry on top of Lookout Mountain would be bad arse. Come and take it!
Also modern weaponry on top of Lookout Mountain would be bad arse. Come and take it!
This post was edited on 6/6/13 at 8:35 am
Posted on 6/6/13 at 8:43 am to HuggieBear
quote:
No, you guys would fight with each other after you started the war. Miles would devise a plan to kill everyone associated with LSU in a crossfire when he really just meant to call time out.
because it's probably true.
Page 17 of 22
Back to top
Follow SECRant for SEC Football News