Twas the Night before Gameday, ‘Rona Edition

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Did you steal this off Facebook?

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I have never stolen a single work of poetry or prose.
This is kind of my bag. The day that I have to plagiarize others is the day I take a long walk off a short pier.

we get it, you're proud of your ignorance

The frick I did, I have been making original works since I’ve been posting.

Including former parodies of “‘twas the night.


The Night Before Bama
The Saban (Edgar Allen poe homage)

SaBan and the Hat (homage to Casey at the Bat)

I steal NOTHING

quote:

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Cause the world didn’t end, with a virus from China,
And times like these take balls, not a weepy vagina

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When was the last time Florida state won their conference?

Man I didn’t mean to come off like an a-hole.
My work is all my own, and I don’t copy anyone.

Well, no more than we all copy the basic Stanza structure of “twas the night.”
Except my rhythm and meter are on point and your baw...well he ain’t.

Gonna be a hell of a game, I’m just glad football is back, for everyone.

Oh come now. They aren’t illiterate sodomites.

They’re uncultured philistines.

I’ll have you know we are literate sodomites.

Harrumph

Guilty


I write a lot of stuff

Wrote this in 18 after the Tigers whipped State

Sung to the Tune of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”

Instrumental version

The legend lives on from the Tiger fans down,
In the stadium they call Death Valley,
That place it is said, fills the others with dread,
When the fighting Tigers stand and rally,

Hundred thousand and more,
Tiger fans they did roar,
When the Dawgs and Fitzgerald they entered,
And nobody knew, what the Tigers would do,
How the dreams of the Dawgs would be splintered,

The spirits were high, since Georgia’s hopes died,
And they now faced the team of Coach Moorehead,
They needed a win, and this one was revenge,
Since last year they’d been beaten and thwarted,

The Tigers came hard,
And surrendered few yards,
Coach Aranda’s D played as expected,
And soon in that night,
Not a cowbell rang,
As Fitzgerald’s pass was intercepted,

The crowd screamed much higher,
As they scored a touchdown,
And the stadium echoed with feelin’
And every fan knew,
As Ensminger did too,
That the Tigers could have the Dawgs reelin’

The Dawgs didn’t wait,
And they caught a big break,
Through the Tiger defense they came crashin’
And the quarterback’s gains,
Kept on moving the chains,
And they reached the red zone in short fashion,

When third down it came,
Coach O spoke to the team,
His voice sounding like cigars and bourbon,
Said “We mus hold ‘dem”
And they did so like men,
Though the outcome was still quite uncertain,

They held the Dawgs to 3,
Moorehead didn’t believe,
That Mississippi State was in peril,
But through the rest of that night,
The defense, led by White,
Became the wreck of the Dawgs and Fitzgerald,

The rains began to blow,
Soaked them all to the bone,
As the field became drenched with the showers,
Neither offense could play,
Three and kick it away,
And the stalemate it seemed to take hours,

‘Til that hundred yard stare,
Came to Joe Burrow’s eyes,
Finding first downs though dripping with water,
And the foot of Tracy,
Kept on kicking for 3,
And in Death Valley began the slaughter,

D kept stealing the throws,
That Fitzgerald would sling,
And the soaked fans began a loud chanting,
In a furious pitch,
“Suck That Tiger Dick Bitch!”
On the Score Board the rantards were ranting,

After halftime you know,
Burrow found his mojo,
Kept on finding the hands of receivers,
While Brossette and Helaire,
Through defenders would tear,
Then Cole Tracy made us all believers,

On Moorehead’s old skull,
His hair became greyed,
Each turnover made them more imperiled,
Despite terrible calls,
Mighty Moo State did fall,
LSU wrecked the Dawgs and Fitzgerald,

Now we’ll see who has balls,
To fight an unjust call,
When the game of the season is coming,
In the game of their lives,
Tigers take on the Tide,
And Death Valley is sure to be humming,






Enjoy.