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The Destruction of the Corn Dogs

Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:26 pm
Posted by Jacknola
New Orleans
Member since May 2013
4366 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:26 pm
An epic poem, suitably updated for the enjoyment of all.

The Destruction of the Corn Dogs
by Jacknola (with help from Lord Byron)

The corn dogs came down like the wolf on the fold
And their tee shirts were gleaming in purple and gold
And the sheen of their flasks were like stars on the sea
When the tide rolls bi-yearly on the Mis-sis-sip-pi.

Like the leaves of the forest when summer is green,
That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
Like the leaves of the forest when November hath blown
That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.

For the Angel of Tua spread his wings on the blast,
And breathed in the face of the tigers he passed;
And the eyes of the corn dogs waxed deadly and chill,
And their hopes but once leaped, then forever grew still!

And there lay the tiger with his nostrils all wide,
But through it there rolled no raving or pride;
And the foam of his hopes lay white on the turf
As cold as the spray of the rock-beating surf.

And there lay the fans ranting and pale,
With melt on their brow, and red on their tail:
And the tailgates were silent, the banners alone,
Bad whiskey unlifted, their bravado unknown.

And the second place corn dogs are loud in their wail,
The refs they cheated they rant and they yell;
And the might of the corndogs, unsmote by the sword;
Hath melted like snow front of Saban, their Lord.
This post was edited on 11/4/18 at 2:27 pm
Posted by SBC
Member since Oct 2005
6868 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:27 pm to
Wow.....you are a serious loser. Holy shite.
Posted by scrooster
Resident Ethicist
Member since Jul 2012
37574 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:31 pm to
That's good poetry. Hard to discredit the talent there.
Posted by Trumansfangs
Town & Country
Member since Sep 2018
6892 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:33 pm to
I agree. If you read it with the same meter as the Beverly Hillbillies theme its actually good !
Posted by Mojave1864
Vegoose
Member since Oct 2018
114 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:37 pm to
quote:

Wow.....you are a serious loser. Holy shite.


Is anyone surprised that the uncultured Corndogs completely lack literary taste? No wonder LSU has been been ranked third from the bottom amongst SEC schools in undergrad rankings for 10+years running.
Posted by Fleurs
Birmingham
Member since Dec 2016
1170 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:48 pm to
gorgeous. just stunning stuff here.
Posted by RoleTideFan80
Member since Aug 2017
794 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:50 pm to
Hey I've tried talking to fellow tide fans to stop beating a dead horse.....but I thought we had more class ..sorry tigers.
Posted by MSHawg1
Bad-assistan
Member since Jun 2018
5046 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:50 pm to
Amazing. Almost as good as "Who will cry for the little Corn Dog?" and Cornelius' preseason poem
Posted by Jacknola
New Orleans
Member since May 2013
4366 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:51 pm to
quote:

Wow.....you are a serious loser. Holy shite.

Oh no Boudreaux, ... oh I'm so sorry the poem hurt your wittle soft corn doggie feelings. I will take that into account next year.

quote:

Hey I've tried talking to fellow tide fans to stop beating a dead horse.....but I thought we had more class ..sorry tigers.

You must not live down here among the rabid and unseeing mob of corn doggies, and must not have to listen to their hate all year long. It is easy in Alabama or most places to just concentrate on Auburn... but dam it, I live in New Orleans.... and by the way, it is beating a dead tiger, not horse.
This post was edited on 11/4/18 at 2:55 pm
Posted by KingOrange
Mayfair
Member since Aug 2018
8686 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:51 pm to
10/10
Posted by labamafan
Prairieville
Member since Jan 2007
24263 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:55 pm to
I read it like the night before Christmas. Lol
Posted by SBC
Member since Oct 2005
6868 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 2:57 pm to
I just can't believe you have so little else going on in your life that's positive that you have enough time to write that. I am amazed how much time people with no lives have.
Posted by Jacknola
New Orleans
Member since May 2013
4366 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 3:15 pm to
Sir, writing descriptive poetry is never a waste of time... what would the world be without art? And, that game itself was art personified was it not?, a beautiful display of the harmony of football. Be happy LSU was both a spectator and a participant in that glorious dance artistry perfection.

Oh.. and STEDB.
Posted by UGA40
USA
Member since Aug 2018
120 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 3:18 pm to
A poem..... terrible, just terrible.
Posted by Storm Warning
Member since Oct 2015
433 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 3:22 pm to
And the Tide, well, they'd rather cheat than lose, some snuff in their lip, they wear no shoes...They call us "Corn Dogs," they say our new look, but it's ettouffe and gumbo we internationally cook...They know they can't win without those Bayou Boys, they buy Amite with cash and cheap plastic toys (a debit card for the gumps who can't think)...They hold on the line and the SEC office is their lair, a commissioner who won't challenge them, he just won't dare...What is the truth Bama knows of themselves? Arrogance and entitlement has cast its spell...They yell "Roll Tide" and pull for their team, but the inside of those college classrooms they have never seen...And in the end we'd really like to wish them best, but success they can't handle, much like incest.
Posted by Jacknola
New Orleans
Member since May 2013
4366 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 3:28 pm to
My friend, you are a school-yard rhymer... cute, but it is not literature.






Posted by Storm Warning
Member since Oct 2015
433 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 3:35 pm to
Jealousy is not your strong suit.
Posted by OKtiger
Tulsa, OK
Member since Nov 2014
8581 posts
Posted on 11/4/18 at 3:41 pm to
This doesn't change the fact you are a fricking loser
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