re: Battle Royale of SEC mascots (Updated 7/22: Battlefield Details Added)

Weren't humans eating pork long before the invention of black powder? You'll notice that no one eats a lot of tiger or elephant.

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You'll notice that no one eats a lot of tiger or elephant.

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I find tiger and elephant a little too gamy for my palette.

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there are no trees, Harvey killed them all.

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hence my post back on Page 6 - we have the Ents to fight for us - they can withstand water, and unless any of the other mascots can breath fire or use a flamethrower - your all screwed.

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using live mascots of each school in a caged ring the size of an endzone here is how I see the order of survival (1 lasting longest, 12 dying first)

1. Tusk the Razorback
2. Mike the Tiger
3. Rebel Black Bear
4. Gator
5. Bama Elephant
6. Wildcat
7. The Commodore
8. Gamecock
9. War Eagle
10. Uga
11. MSU bulldog
12. Smokey

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I think we should just leave this to science.

I say tournament style, with the top 4 seeds getting a bye

Gamecock(12) vs Wildcat(5)
Wildcat mauls gamecock in about 5 seconds, not even close

UGA(11) vs Tusk (6)
Tusk mauls UGA while he sleeps, pretty quick fight.

MSU Bulldog(10) vs Smokey (7)
Bulldog runs around and bites smokeys ankles for awhile and is annoying, but eventually gets killed.

War Eagle(9) vs Rebel black bear (8)
Eagle flys around, and eventually gauges out the bears eyes, then flies in a rakes at the neck until the bear falls and pulls off the upset.

Second Round

Mike(1) vs Wildcat(5)
Wildcat's speed isn't enough to make up for Mike's superior size.

Commodore(4) vs Tusk(6)
Commodore shoots tusk as tusk is charging him, mortally wounding him, however, Tusk's momentum carries through and he gores the commodore, resulting in a draw.

Smokey(7) vs Gator (2)
Smokey has issues injuring the gator through his tough hide and eventually the gator gets smokey on the ground and kills him.

War Eagle(9) vs Elephant(3)
War eagle tries its strategy of flying around and poking out eyes, but eventually gets grabbed and crushed in the elephants trunk.

Semifinals
Mike gets a bye due to both of his opponents dieing in the previous round.

Gator(2) vs Elephant(3)
Gator tries to bite at the elephants feet to bring him to the ground, but gets stomped on.

Finals
Mike(1) vs Elephant(3)
Mike begins the fight by jumping straight at the elephants throat. The elephant enrages at having its throat torn out and tries to stampede mike, but mike darts away and watches the elephant die, making mike the victor.

Yeah, I'm a homer, but in all seriousness, a tiger would probably beat any of the other mascots.

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one serious flaw in your AU vs UA mascot round - the elephants trunk is not agile enough to catch a bird in midflight. it posseses great strength, but to catch it out of midair is a HUGE stretch of the imagination - however we are talking fictional battle

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True enough, but an Eagle isn't ever going to kill the elephant either, so I had to pick one to win.

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oh ill give you that man.


i still say our wildcard is the ents I mentioned on page 6 - after all, Updyke killed toomers and pissed off the trees :P

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Only works against bama though(which would apply in this case). The ents have to be enraged before they attack, and they have no reason to be mad at anyone but bammers.

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12. Smokey

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Smokey is a Bluetick. Bred to sniff out, hunt/track anything that walks, runs, or flies. He hangs out w/ Ol' Davey who allegedly is 'bout half-tight most of the time and loves to wrassle w/ bears, but he doesn't bathe very often, and that's to his advantage within a confined space. He ranks better than 12th, IMO.

Plus, I can see Smokey, Bully, and UGA perhaps coming up with a tag team. One has to consider their pack tendencies.

can we add some mountains for the Eagle to drop shite off of?

The fun starts around 30 seconds in