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re: Warren Buffett paid my ransom, after the cartels hung me over crocodiles, who ate my legs
Posted on 6/25/24 at 9:04 am to Cheese Grits
Posted on 6/25/24 at 9:04 am to Cheese Grits
1
Posted on 6/25/24 at 10:37 am to SRV
quote:
I feel terrible about the whole legless situation. I hear chics dig the chair, though
Posted on 6/25/24 at 11:44 am to SupperClubDrunkBus
We'd tell the Cartel guys to come back and get him, but no way they go through that again.
Posted on 6/25/24 at 12:41 pm to SRV
quote:
I feel terrible about the whole legless situation. I hear chics dig the chair, though
A woman, tired of living alone, decides to put an ad in the local paper. She asks for three things: 1. A man who will treat her like a queen, 2. A man who will never beat her, and 3. A man who will never run away from her.
Several weeks go by without a result, and the woman is resigned to life without a man who can embody those qualities. Then, the doorbell rings, and she opens it to find an armless, legless man in a wheelchair.
He says, “I’m here about the ad in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms, so I can’t beat you, and I have no legs, so I can’t run away from you.”
The woman is skeptical, and asks, “Yeah, but are you good in bed?” The man answers, “How do you think I rang the doorbell?”
Posted on 6/25/24 at 4:58 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
You bastards refused to do the Go Fund Me that Lathresha asked you to do
If Lathresha was from Pine Bluff, they never grab you in the first place.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 6:43 am to Harry Rex Vonner
Since we are just sharing random shite.
I have a huge pimple with a huge white head right next to my a-hole.
pop that pimple into your open mouth. Lick my a-hole. Swallow.
I have a huge pimple with a huge white head right next to my a-hole.
pop that pimple into your open mouth. Lick my a-hole. Swallow.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 6:49 pm to OlGrandad
quote:
after the cartels hung me over crocodiles, who ate my legs
Way to hang in there.
Posted on 6/26/24 at 11:47 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
Who's Harry?
Posted on 6/27/24 at 7:12 am to 1BIGTigerFan
quote:
Who's Harry?
Posted on 6/27/24 at 8:42 am to 1BIGTigerFan
quote:
Who's Hairy?
Posted on 6/28/24 at 5:57 am to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
I can't stand any of you.
obviously
quote:
crocodiles, who ate my legs above the knee
Posted on 6/28/24 at 5:04 pm to faraway
quote:quote:
I can't stand any of you.quote:
obviously
quote:
crocodiles, who ate my legs above the knee
It’s strange how quickly things can get blown out of proportion & factually misconstrued as word spreads around.
Obviously, we all know it was crocodiles, because that’s what Harry told us directly.
However?…now I’m hearing some WILDLY inflated rumors & accounts that it was actually a Great White Shark that chomped off Harry’s legs.
It just goes to show?…
…you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Interwebs
Posted on 6/28/24 at 5:37 pm to SupperClubDrunkBus
As you can see, I fought that bastard off and popped him in the head with a couple of 1970's era beer cans.
Now what?
Crocodiles got my legs per the cartel torture.
Great White Sharks are pussies and I've never not reigned victorious over them or their wives and children.
Now what?
Crocodiles got my legs per the cartel torture.
Great White Sharks are pussies and I've never not reigned victorious over them or their wives and children.
Posted on 6/28/24 at 8:23 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
As you can see, I fought that bastard off and popped him in the head with a couple of 1970's era beer cans…
…Great White Sharks are pussies
Posted on 7/3/24 at 9:05 am to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
rest of you Cromwellian bastards can FRICK RIGHT OFF
quote:
Cromwellian; in American English; ADJECTIVE
noting or pertaining to a style of English furnishings of the middle 17th century, characterized by austerity, the use of oak and leather, and simple, decorative moldings
Posted on 7/3/24 at 12:02 pm to Harry Rex Vonner
quote:
Crocodiles got my legs per the cartel torture.
See, this is good information because we can narrow down where you were held. You specifically said crocodile which rules out Caimans and Alligators. Both species, if provoked, will attack people. But not often.
Now, it could be the Cuban Crocodile, which is a very aggressive species but they are on the smaller side, have a very narrow range, and would probably have to settle for just gnawing on your leg a bit.
That leaves only two contenders. The American Crocodile and the Orinoco Crocodile. Lets start with our all American contender first.
The American Crocodile is one of two ocean going species of crocodiles, the other being infamous Saltwater "Saltie" Crocodile that is the terror of Australia and SE Pacific islands. It is a big boy, more than capable of tearing a man's legs off. So, a good contender because it's range is throughout the Caribbean and into South America. However, by crocodile standards, it is fairly non aggressive. Pretty similar to Alligators in that regard.
Which leaves us with the Orinoco Crocodiles. They are indigenous to one particular river system (hint it is the Orinoco) with very limited distribution elsewhere. They are large, fairly aggressive, and will attack humans. You will find them in Venezuela and Columbia. Prime Cartel territory!
So, based on this, we can assume you were taken to this area in South America where your limbs were eaten. You should feel honored! There are only like 1000 Orinoco Crocodiles left in the world and they found some to eat your legs. You are just out there showing up everyone Harry. You can't have your legs eaten by anything everyday, it has to be a rare Crocodillian species.
Posted on 7/3/24 at 1:36 pm to Arksulli
Man, you put some real effort into that.
Posted on 7/3/24 at 3:07 pm to Arksulli
quote:
Arksulli
Posted on 7/3/24 at 4:12 pm to Arksulli
quote:
You specifically said crocodile which rules out Caimans and Alligators
Posted on 7/3/24 at 9:15 pm to Arksulli
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