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re: Serious question..if your S/O did this what would your response be?
Posted on 9/28/16 at 11:48 am to Carolina_Girl
Posted on 9/28/16 at 11:48 am to Carolina_Girl
Time the frick out here.
I've read all the OP's posts and a few responses. Seems the consensus is he was up to no good and you should ditch his arse.
However, let me publish the facts again, this time with some numbered assumptions:
Your S/O, who (1) has his own job and earns money, (2) supports himself, and (3) manages his own finances, loaned money to a girl who claimed to be your friend with the expectation she would pay it back. He then asked you to contact her.
Assuming 1-3 are all true: am I missing some egregious act of betrayal here??? Perhaps the man thought he could make a little interest. Perhaps he just felt like helping someone that day. Sure it'd have been nice if he told you but is that necessary when it's his money? Maybe he thought it would be paid back without ever involving you and now he's just embarrassed. I don't know his motives, but more importantly YOU DON'T EITHER. And it would be a fricking shame to end what has been an otherwise good relationship (yes? no?) without direct asking him what his motives were.
I've read all the OP's posts and a few responses. Seems the consensus is he was up to no good and you should ditch his arse.
However, let me publish the facts again, this time with some numbered assumptions:
Your S/O, who (1) has his own job and earns money, (2) supports himself, and (3) manages his own finances, loaned money to a girl who claimed to be your friend with the expectation she would pay it back. He then asked you to contact her.
Assuming 1-3 are all true: am I missing some egregious act of betrayal here??? Perhaps the man thought he could make a little interest. Perhaps he just felt like helping someone that day. Sure it'd have been nice if he told you but is that necessary when it's his money? Maybe he thought it would be paid back without ever involving you and now he's just embarrassed. I don't know his motives, but more importantly YOU DON'T EITHER. And it would be a fricking shame to end what has been an otherwise good relationship (yes? no?) without direct asking him what his motives were.
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Posted on 9/28/16 at 3:41 pm to Old Sarge
quote:
Somethings not right, he's either beyond dumb or lying to you.
Run, don't look back, God has a better fish in the sea for you
^^^this
Posted on 9/28/16 at 4:13 pm to Carolina_Girl
I either question his story or question his critical reasoning skills. If she is your close friend, why would she supposedly come to him for money instead of you?
Posted on 9/29/16 at 8:10 am to Carolina_Girl
Ehyvwould he involve you if his story weren't true, dumbass!
You never would have known, so he obviously has nothing to hide.
Now you may be starting to realize why the ex cheated on you
You never would have known, so he obviously has nothing to hide.
Now you may be starting to realize why the ex cheated on you
Posted on 9/29/16 at 8:30 am to Carolina_Girl
Honestly, I think if something shady were going down and the only consequence for keeping it under wraps was that I was out $126 I would just be out the $126. However, the fact that this happened in the first place does provide pretty solid evidence that he doesn't make good decisions.
Posted on 9/29/16 at 8:47 am to Carolina_Girl
1) he should know who your "close" friends are; however, your S/O might be an idiot. You can't fix stupid.
I will point out that my husband hasn't met a lot of my high school friends, and that's for a reason. So it's possible she said y'all were old friends or some bs and he believed her.
2) IMO, unless y'all are engaged or married, he shouldn't have to discuss his finances with you or who he loans money to. Tis' none of your business.
3) We're females. We have a sixth sense to cheating. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, for the love of god, listen to it. Ignoring it in the long run will hurt you more.
I will point out that my husband hasn't met a lot of my high school friends, and that's for a reason. So it's possible she said y'all were old friends or some bs and he believed her.
2) IMO, unless y'all are engaged or married, he shouldn't have to discuss his finances with you or who he loans money to. Tis' none of your business.
3) We're females. We have a sixth sense to cheating. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, for the love of god, listen to it. Ignoring it in the long run will hurt you more.
Posted on 9/29/16 at 9:48 am to AUnite
quote:
You can't fix stupid.
quote:
We're females. We have a sixth sense to cheating. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, for the love of god, listen to it. Ignoring it in the long run will hurt you more.
Boom. That's some solid truth right there.
Posted on 9/29/16 at 8:22 pm to semotruman
I'm thinking the guy is the one who needs to run.
Guy is a nice guy who probably has hard time telling someone no. He was probably contacted by this girl, who said whatever the scandalous girl needed to, and he just doesn't have it in him to be rude and not respond. His personality is used against him and he ultimately helps this girl out. He doesn't really want to do it...but he just doesn't have it in him to ultimately say no. He justifies it by thinking he did a good deed.
He knows he can't tell his significant other when it's happening because he knows she, like the majority of women in general, will almost certainly create a fury of unnecessary drama that he honestly just doesn't want to deal with. Afterall, he already feels like a schmuck for not standing his ground loaning money.
The last thing he wants to add to this deal is a crazy, untrusting, jealous women who will no doubt turn this bad scenario into a long term nightmare. She is not mentally mature enough to handle this scenario. She has a bad history with previous men and he has obviously started to pay the price.
He is no longer his own man and is slowly and steadily transitioning from living his life to just existing in hers.
As time passes, his clearly correct decision to not tell her fades and the sting of being ripped off strengthens. He mistakingly believes he can now tell his significant other and enlist her help. Afterall, he didn't do anything wrong. This scandalous girl will have no choice but to respond to her friend.
And now....reality just hit him like ton of bricks. Still ripped off and still just existing in life with a jealous, untrusting control freak.
Guy is a nice guy who probably has hard time telling someone no. He was probably contacted by this girl, who said whatever the scandalous girl needed to, and he just doesn't have it in him to be rude and not respond. His personality is used against him and he ultimately helps this girl out. He doesn't really want to do it...but he just doesn't have it in him to ultimately say no. He justifies it by thinking he did a good deed.
He knows he can't tell his significant other when it's happening because he knows she, like the majority of women in general, will almost certainly create a fury of unnecessary drama that he honestly just doesn't want to deal with. Afterall, he already feels like a schmuck for not standing his ground loaning money.
The last thing he wants to add to this deal is a crazy, untrusting, jealous women who will no doubt turn this bad scenario into a long term nightmare. She is not mentally mature enough to handle this scenario. She has a bad history with previous men and he has obviously started to pay the price.
He is no longer his own man and is slowly and steadily transitioning from living his life to just existing in hers.
As time passes, his clearly correct decision to not tell her fades and the sting of being ripped off strengthens. He mistakingly believes he can now tell his significant other and enlist her help. Afterall, he didn't do anything wrong. This scandalous girl will have no choice but to respond to her friend.
And now....reality just hit him like ton of bricks. Still ripped off and still just existing in life with a jealous, untrusting control freak.
Posted on 9/29/16 at 8:33 pm to ummagumma
quote:
I'm thinking the guy is the one who needs to run.
Posted on 9/29/16 at 8:37 pm to ummagumma
S/O nice guy got duped then asked you to get money back to prove he was not cheating
Posted on 9/29/16 at 9:11 pm to Carolina_Girl
Sorry. This dude is so stupid to trash a relationship over $126, on several levels.
He probably im'ing and jacking off.
This is a gift to you. Don't frick it up.
He probably im'ing and jacking off.
This is a gift to you. Don't frick it up.
Posted on 9/30/16 at 9:49 am to Carolina_Girl
Yep, sorry you man is up to no good. Any man knows giving money to a female that isn't your SO constitutes the death sentence.
Posted on 9/30/16 at 9:56 am to rantfan
quote:
Any man knows not giving money to a female that is your SO constitutes the death sentence.
FIFY
Posted on 9/30/16 at 3:22 pm to AUnite
quote:
2) IMO, unless y'all are engaged or married, he shouldn't have to discuss his finances with you or who he loans money to. Tis' none of your business.
The loan was to her "friend". Not his. One of them initiated contact with the other secretly, and he kept it, and the loan from the OP.
There's basically only one reason to do that.
Unfortunately for him, he didn't get laid and I'm guessing now he feels played. AND he's dumb enough to ask his girlfriend to help get his money back.
This post was edited on 9/30/16 at 3:24 pm
Posted on 10/2/16 at 4:35 pm to Carolina_Girl
$126? My reaction would be, let the money go, hope you learned your lesson, S/O.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 3:57 am to Carolina_Girl
So what did you tell him?
Posted on 10/3/16 at 8:22 pm to Carolina_Girl
Bottom line is that your S/O obviously thinks your partnership is worth lower than 126$. He obviously knew he was taking a chance by telling you but it was worth maybe getting his money back.
Posted on 10/4/16 at 6:48 am to Carolina_Girl
Give me his twitter handle. I've got a deal in Nigeria he'd be interested in.
Posted on 10/4/16 at 7:17 am to Carolina_Girl
They would no longer be my s/o
Posted on 10/4/16 at 7:28 am to Carolina_Girl
I just wanted to help your friend out no need to put our relations on blast
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