Joseph Goodman: Which bozo will LSU hire next?

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If you’re trying to figure out who the next coach is going to be at LSU, then maybe take a look at the pattern of hires since Nick Saban left for the pros.

LSU replaced Saban with Les Miles and it replaced Miles with Ed Orgeron. High on charisma and low on integrity is the trend I’m seeing, so whoever’s the biggest Sleazeball Bozo All-Conference Creepy Hands Team MVP among the candidates probably has a pretty good shot at being the next guy to walk away with a multi-million dollar golden parachute funded by donations of the blindly faithful and obscenely rich.

Jon Gruden would be my pick for the Tigers, in other words, and I’m sure there are plenty of boosters at LSU who wouldn’t mind that hire.

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They got losers empowering losers in Baton Rouge rather than real leaders hiring people of true character.

The misogynistic culture plaguing pro football that created, incubated and emboldened slugs of the sideline like Gruden and Urban Meyer is training-wheels terrible compared to some of the problems with major college football. It tries its best to cloak itself in secrecy to protect a product that’s too big to fail.

That’s how rape gets covered up and made to go away. Yes, rape. This stuff shouldn’t be hard to understand for anyone, but we look away again and again and again because this American drug that we all crave just feels too good on a Saturday in the fall. And, buddy, I make a mean bean dip.

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