tAggy Explain Yourself thread

Want some TLDR?

Aggy done failed to assimilate with the natives. Here's your chance to explain some shite that would eliminate that look people give you.


The Aggy Explain Yourself thread


Aggy, yesterday and today were supposed to be a celebration of southern football, in general. We understand that your team didn't win.
But it got off the rails quick-like. You took the focus away from Bama/Clemson and drew some attention to yourselves. Past time for you to
'splain yourself.

Answer these questions for us. There are no right or wrong answers. Remember, we are stuck with the Aggy, so we might as well understand. We aren't going to your rivals that you won't play anymore....we want the answers straight (get to know this word) from the Aggy mouth.

1. The three year Bama dickride; aka the Bama Slow Neck; aka the Bama Lap Dance.
Whatever we all decide to call it....it has been beyond awkward and cringeworthy......but ironcally, not awkward for you; you embrace the dickride.
It's blatant, but not contrived. Seems you are there to defend the Tide before, even they do.
It's a type of intercession that intra-conference (much less intra-div) foes just don't do; save the Aggy. But, the facts are there to see.
You have a crush on the Tide. Maybe we can understand it. But a least try to explain it. Does it have to do with the Bear? Stallings? Did the '88 Hurricane "We Were There, Where Were You" game give you a guilty feeling? I was there for that game.
Come clean (not a play on words), here is your chance for us to take you out of our 'unsolved cases file'.
...........'splain that

2. The Refusal to Assimilate
Not so much of a mystery as the afformentioned, but still the rarest case of non-assimilation in all of college football.
There is not one school out there that has demonstrated ANY desire to copy or aspire to be the Aggy or do what it does.
Yet, Aggy has the "hey look at me" persona. Much like when I went to high school in the south in the early 90s.
There was the guy who put the glasspacks on his ride.....hence "hey look at me."
"Hey look at me" Beckons just that, other normal fanbases taking a moment to, in fact, look at you.
Just looking inward and thanking oneself for not being a fan of the cult-like team that invented ways, long ago to appear different.
Arky and USC assimilated on schedule back in the 90s. They didn't win much, like you. But they knew the deal.
Pride for Southern Football, barbecue, hatred for the rival, gravitation toward bourbon etc.
But your traditions involve some weird shite....we will get to that later.
You had the chance to identify with the SEC WAAAAAAY before Missouri ever would because they have a stadium the size of Pitt County Community College's stadium and an unknown football tradition.
But you, you had the Wrecking Crew, 12th Man, the stadium and......Cash. But that is where the similarity stops. Not very SEC-like....hell, not very Big 12-like either.
.............'splain that

3. Male Cheerleaders.
No need to preface this. The gifs and youtube links speak volumes.
...........'splain that

4. Ball Grab Elephant Walk.
The male cheerleaders is bizzare....but aggy doubled down. I pledged in a fraternity and we had to drink this and that.
But there were those brotherhoods that made their guys do some ghey-arse shite like this.....in front of ALL TO SEE. As if you wanted folks to see this.
what causes this behavior?
............'splain that.



Again,
These are traditions that you fostered. You decided you like them and continue them. Let's hear more about it.
Don't leave it up to us to assume. You have it out for all to see, and you are damn proud of it. We are being fair, here.
These four items don't seem very "Lone Star State" to me and it is time for explaining yourself.
Aggy Explain Yourself