Whose Dick Do You Ride? Whose Dick Do You Wish You Could Ride?

Ok, here is a thread for all the SEC Rant Mensas:

What team, either because its a logical move for a fan of your team or for personal reasons, do you ride the dick of out of all college football teams? Secondly, if any considerations about your team were off the table whose dick do you wish you COULD ride (in division)?

I'll go first:

As an A&M fan, in the big picture I kinda got to ride Bama dick. Their success helps A&M the most while also hurting A&M's chances the least in balance compared to any SEC West team. I have learned that this is both a blessing and a curse, and holy shite did that strategy backfire on me this season. But in the scheme of things I know that when A&M goes into the living room of a Texas 4* and gets them onboard to play in the SEC like 45% of that brand we are buying with Texas eyeballs is Bama. So I begrudgingly ride Bama dick.

I WISH I could ride Auburn dick. They have the best West fanbase on here, and I admire the shite out of their program. They are like the hot and successful guy/girl who did it all themselves and not because their daddy is rich. Even before we were a SEC team they were my favorite SEC West team. They kick arse.

Your turn.

Now for all the disclaimers:

1. Yes I know the term "riding dicks" sucks, but honestly the purpose of written communication is to convey an idea and yall all know the extra connotation riding ricks has on here that just something like "rooting for" doesn't have. Plus using the term will allow me to weed out the mouth breathers who will jump in here and say "huh huh Aggies like to ride dicks because they are homosexuals" instead of making fun of your insightful post.

2. Yes its the fricking offseason. The SEC offseason started when the team I have to dick ride failed me.

So have at it: Whose do you ride out of all teams, and whose do you wish you could ride in division?