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How did you get the birds and the bees talk from your parents?

by Chicken

July 19, 201175 Comments

So my buddy Kalunda (not his real name) stopped my last night to return my Tivo and borrow some toilet paper. We hadn't chatted in a while so we grabbed a few beers and headed out to the back patio.

He said that his new girlfriend (some hottie he met at Whole Foods) has a 9-year old and she is ready to give him "the talk". And she wants the K-man to help her give the little boy "the talk".

He thinks that 9-years old is too young for the talk and he seems really nervous about being involved, especially since he hasn't even bagged this chick yet.

I told him to keep it simple and not to get too technical. I told him to give the little kids the basics and let the boy ask questions to get more details. If the kids wants to know more, he will ask.

How did you get "the talk" from your parents? How old were you?

Filed Under: New Orleans Saints

Originally published on TigerDroppings.com

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Acreboy•166 months

i never did. trial by error for me. which i know explains a lot.

TygerTyger•166 months

Found my dad's stash of Playboys when I was about 7 and that took care of the anomomy lessons. When I was about 13 my Dad asked me if I knew about sex. I said yes, I had learned it in school from my friends. He seemed uncomfortable and relieved, and said that if I had any questions, he'd always be there to answer them. That was it, and we were both relieved that it didn't get any more graphic.

So.... what's this "clitoris" thing everyone's talking about? :lol:

Tiger Ryno•166 months

I'm still waiting for it.

LSUTygerFan•166 months

No talk, mom bought this "lif cycle series" of books handed them to me and siad "read this".

Chicken•166 months

Yeah, some book magically appeared in my room one day...seemed to work out ok for me.

Nine does seem young, but I guess if you tailor it to their age, it should be ok. Kids are learning more about sex at a younger age than when I was a kid. Listen to the music on the radio these days. The lyrics about sex are much more overt than those from 20 years ago.

leveetiger•166 months

Stole my brother's Easy E cassette.

Tommy Patel•166 months

most hospitals have a "body basics" class I have organized a father son, mother daughter group to attend the class. It is appropriate for 11 to 12 year olds who are starting puberty.

I was not as fortunate to get good and accurate info

bradwieser•166 months

Stuck in the car on the way to New Orleans for a Saints game. I was probably 11 or 12:

Dad: "You know about AIDs and all those other diseases huh"
Me: "Yeah dad."
Dad: "Good, well dont run around kissin every girl you see, alright?"
Me: "Alright dad"
Dad: "Should we stop and get a po boy at Mandinas before the game?"

Flair Chops•166 months

I didn't. I discovered the scrambled channels on my grandpa's satellite at an early age.

Hulkklogan•166 months

My parents never sat me down and gave me "the talk", they just would talk about sexual things a lot around the house. Never things they'd do to each other or anything, but sex was not a forbidden topic in my parents' house.

Tiger-Striped-Bass•166 months

In the deer stand, I had that talk with my 9 year old son 2 years ago. I asked him if he remembered (when they were younger)how he and his sister were made differently. He said yes. I told him that it was for a reason men and women were made that way. I don't remember everything I said, but I do remember telling him that one fit into the other and that something from the woman AND something from the man put together makes a baby and that's how you put the two together so that the baby can then grow inside the mom. And that's how he and his sister came about. Then I told him, "you see dads are important for babies to be born too. Youprobably thought that mom did it all by herself", just to lighten the mood. I told him that he wasn't to discuss this with any of his friends, because it was up to their parents to decide when they should know about that and mom would explain it to his sister when she was ready. I asked him if he had any questions and he said no. About a week later, I asked him again if he had thought of any questions about our talk and have asked a time or two since then. I just ask him if he rememebers "that talk we had". Of course he does. So I ask him if he's thought of any questions, or if he had heard anything from his friends that made him wonder about any of that.

I've been on the wife to do the same with our daughter who's 9 now. It's a shame, but I'm probably going to have to be the one to do that one too. That one should come from the mother. But I firmly believe in teaching them accurately before they're exposed to the twisted things they'll hear on the street. I don't have anything to back that up as the right way, and I won't know if it was best until the opportunity is long past. But that's how I will use my one chance.

Brendoni•166 months

i don't remember having "the talk" with my parents.

Chazz Reinhold•166 months

They sent a letter to the parents in 5th grade that we would be given a sex education class at school. You had to get permission to go so as soon as my Dad saw that letter he tried to tell me all about it. Kept saying how great it was but I should wait. After that class every guy in 5th grade became a walking hard on.

TexasTiger05•166 months

never from my dad, my mom would answer questions if I had any. I went to the class at Women's Hospital and we started having sex ed in class in 7th grade

Polycarp•166 months

My Dad tried to talk to me the night before I got married... I was 24, and looking for a rock to crawl under.. :lol:

TexasTiger05•166 months

my mom took me lingerie shopping before I got married. It actually wasnt as weird as I thought it was going to be

Jim Rockford•166 months

We had some books at home, one for boys, one for girls. I guess the idea was for us to pick them up and learn on our own, we never did, or at least I didn't. My dad took me for a drive one day, hemmed and hawed around and finally said something like, "dads will expect you to treat their daughters with respect." That was the extent of it :lol:

The Boat•166 months

My parents never talked to me about anything serious. Obviously this was on that list.

dyslexiateechur•166 months

My mom warned me about periods when I was 10 but "Are you there god, It's me, Margaret" had already gotten there first.

when I was about 13, my mom sat down and had a serious talk with me about how my dad was her first and how special it was and how she was glad she waited.

I plan to do the same thing with my daughters when the time is right.

The Boat•166 months

Will you steer them towards uncircumcised males?

dyslexiateechur•166 months

quote:
Will you steer them towards uncircumcised males?

:lol: I'll let them find that part out on their own.

LSUSOBEAST1•166 months

I never got one.

Martini•166 months

Kalunda still having those colon problems huh?

My mother said "dear god, don't get anyone pregnant."

My father said "keep your pecker in your pants boy."

And nine years old is too young. I was ten.

King•166 months

quote:
How did you get the birds and the bees talk from your parents?

When I was younger, the age where I could stand in the seat of my dad's 80's model chevy truck and my head not hit the top of the cabin, my ole man would tell me stories about fricking women in the shower and shite.

I was educated very young

Rantavious•166 months

we were at a thoroughbred stud farm. and after the dirty deed I had a few questions

:lol:

TigerHam85•166 months

Old man gave me a box of condoms when I was 13 I think. No words were exchanged, just a serious glare in the eyes.

geauxtigahs87•166 months

quote:
How did you get "the talk" from your parents?

Action figures, mayonnaise, and some "colorful" language

quote:
How old were you?

4 in a half

deltaland•166 months

:rotflmao:

deltaland•166 months

Never got the talk from my parents… learned about it when I was in 4th grade from a good friend of mine who had gotten the "talk".

Learned in more detail around the age of 15 when I got a truck and started going out every weekend getting fricked up on whiskey and snorting lorcet 10's… too many nights i don't remember of fricking whores in the backseat of my truck or having them come stay in tents out in the woods.

And my parents thought we were "going camping and fishing" :lol:

efrad•166 months

My parents never gave me the talk. We never, ever mentioned sex around each other until I was an adult and then we only talked about it like adults talk to each other about sex. Never did I get any kind of view about sex from a parental perspective.

hendersonshands•166 months

I didn't get a talk. I turned out fine!

frick you mom

Cecil D Diesel•166 months

Nobody ever really told me anything directly.

My dad simply ask for my freshman homecoming dance, "Do you need to go to the store to buy some condoms?", I replied,"Sure"...I was a freshman, and my date was a senior, so I think he knew what was to later take place.

WelcomeToDeathValley•166 months

never had an official talk, they just emphasized not being an idiot about it.

SG_Geaux•166 months

I remember hearing my younger sister ask my mom what sperm feels like. I just cranked up my stereo.

Volvagia•166 months

quote:
I remember hearing my younger sister ask my mom what sperm feels like.

:rotflmao:

How old was she at the time?

supadave3•166 months

I had a girlfriend of about a year, and when she turned 18 she got an apartment....My parents always told me if I was drinking, DON'T DRIVE and just call and they wouldn't ask any questions...SOOOO, I called one night late as shite, and said I was gonna stay at my gf's house....The next day, when I got home, my dad came in my room and said "your mom wants me to talk to you about sex....Look son, if you're ever too embarrassed to buy condoms, let me know and i'll buy 'em for you......Got it? "

That was probably the only conversation we ever had about it....FTR, I havent' got anyone pregnant yet so it must have been good advice!

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