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DAD JOKE THREAD: What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Posted on 2/10/24 at 12:18 am
Posted on 2/10/24 at 12:18 am
Uncles.
Y’all baws got any dad jokes?
Mine isn’t the best dad joke in the world, but the first time I heard that was from my very own uncle. No lie, If it doesn’t count as a dad joke, it’s definitely a solid uncle joke.
Y’all baws got any dad jokes?
Mine isn’t the best dad joke in the world, but the first time I heard that was from my very own uncle. No lie, If it doesn’t count as a dad joke, it’s definitely a solid uncle joke.
8
Posted on 2/10/24 at 8:19 am to JohnnyRebel
A Dad is buying a Christmas Tree and the cashier says: “Are you going to put it up yourself?”
The Dad replies: “Don’t be disgusting...I’m going to put it up in the living room.”
The Dad replies: “Don’t be disgusting...I’m going to put it up in the living room.”
Posted on 2/10/24 at 8:42 am to JohnnyRebel
If a woman with two breasts works at Hooters, where does a woman with one leg work?
IHOP
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen
What do you call a Asian woman with one leg?
Irene
IHOP
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen
What do you call a Asian woman with one leg?
Irene
Posted on 2/10/24 at 9:00 am to TigerLunatik
Posted on 2/10/24 at 9:07 am to JohnnyRebel
Posted on 2/10/24 at 9:11 am to OlGrandad
How do find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
What's the beat way to take someone's coat?
You jack it
Look for the fresh prints.
What's the beat way to take someone's coat?
You jack it
Posted on 2/10/24 at 9:12 am to Cheese Grits
Posted on 2/10/24 at 10:27 am to Cheese Grits
quote:
drunk discount price
Harry clicking link feverishly
Posted on 2/10/24 at 3:05 pm to JohnnyRebel
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
Nobody is taking it harder than Grandma.
Posted on 2/11/24 at 9:55 am to JohnnyRebel
A child who refuses to take a nap is resisting a rest.
Posted on 2/11/24 at 10:17 am to blueridgeTiger
quote:
A child who refuses to take a nap is resisting a rest.
Spoiler Alert
It happens all over again at the end
What 2 year olds and 2 years left have in common.
#1 Cranky without naps
#2 Fussy eaters
#3 Diapers
#4 Babbling
#5 Demanding
Posted on 2/11/24 at 12:24 pm to Cheese Grits
quote:
It happens all over again at the end
What 2 year olds and 2 years left have in common.
#1 Cranky without naps
#2 Fussy eaters
#3 Diapers
#4 Babbling
#5 Demanding
You don't have to get personal.
Posted on 2/11/24 at 5:50 pm to blueridgeTiger
quote:
You don't have to get personal.
I am old, and I raised kids.
Just know both audiences pretty well.
Posted on 2/11/24 at 6:49 pm to Cheese Grits
quote:
I am old,
I don’t believe you
Posted on 2/11/24 at 10:18 pm to JohnnyRebel
I went to the doctor because I've been having irregular bowel movements.
He said I had a lot weird shite going on.
Posted on 2/21/24 at 9:52 am to JohnnyRebel
Q: Why do Seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be a Bagel (bay-gull).
---
Q: You've head of Moore's law (what can go wrong will go wrong). But have you heard of Cole's Law?
A: It's finely shredded cabbage in mayo or vinegar
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be a Bagel (bay-gull).
---
Q: You've head of Moore's law (what can go wrong will go wrong). But have you heard of Cole's Law?
A: It's finely shredded cabbage in mayo or vinegar
Posted on 2/21/24 at 10:01 am to RolltidePA
Moore's Law is the assertion that the number of transistors in an integrated circuit will double every few years with little rise in cost. So, as an engineering dad. . .
Why did the Polish airliner become unstable and crash? It had poles in the right half plane.
Why did the Polish airliner become unstable and crash? It had poles in the right half plane.
Posted on 2/21/24 at 10:02 am to Red Boarman
quote:
Moore's Law is the assertion that the number of transistors in an integrated circuit will double every few years with little rise in cost. So, as an engineering dad. . .
Yeah, meant to say Murphy's law...
Posted on 2/21/24 at 12:29 pm to JohnnyRebel
Not all math problems are terrible only sum
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